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| Hermana Diez and Me at Chili's celebrating her 23rd Birthday! |
Hola Familia y Amigos!!!
Wow crazy stuff. Lots of crazy feelings going on inside of me every day and I imagine that keeps going on till the end right? haha nice! BUT...
So Monday and Tuesday I stayed in Francisco de Orellana and man though I didn't eat or sleep because of my nerves, it was SO neat to see my converts and favorite members again. Such a tender mercy because when I say goodbye to people one Monday in December, I was going to go to Condor, and felt sad about not going to Francisco but now I don't have to and the Lord provided the opportunity!!! Tender mercy.
I saw JULIO and he was so so happy and great. He is a ward missionary, receives the Melchizedek Priesthood this conference and went to the temple!!!!! Then I saw the Diaz fam and it was SO fun and hilarious to be there, and then Christian. What great people I have grown to love.
I felt so so alone on Monday and Tuesday---like I was with so many people but still so alone (kind of like how I felt before the mish--funny how it all comes back to you during times like this) and I was so nervous to train. Tuesday we went to DM and it was so spiritual and great!! It was neat talking to Christian because he said that in my eyes and rostro he can tell that I've grown a lot and am different and have many more qualities---how nice. Also Elder Acosta in the DM said that he used Alma 7:15 the other day in a lesson and that I had taught him that and how to apply it with love months ago in Orquideas. Tender mercy--wow didn't know he would remember that one practice like I do.
Tuesday night I went to the office to get my companion and was so so nervous. I was the only hermana and 5 other elders because just a few came this time. We waited for a while and then went inside with them to have a capacitation meeting with the assistants and then President. I saw my comp and smiled so widely and was so loving and happy and she was the same!! We had a wonderful training meeting with President and he reminded us of things I needed to hear again. I felt the Lord's help and animos and strength and rededication. At the end, all of a sudden he stood in front of my comp and looked at Hna Diez (like the number, haha, that's her name--she's great) and said, "Hermana, Hna Bryan is the most experienced hermana in the mission since she came," and then looked at me. Then he looked at her and said, "And SHE is your companion!" She thanked him and then he said, "She has little time left in the mission and she knows that. You will be her last companion (I started crying then.) Copy everything from her. Copy everything from her! We have full confidence in her and hope that part of her stays here in you for the mission. Take advantage of your time together."
Wow he made me feel SO loved and trusted and I felt so imperfect, and even though I had felt so imperfect and need to be better and need to focus and come back and give my all and all my heart again,etc I felt the Lord's love and President's love, which was such a blessing. He then assured us that we will give accountance for what we do here but that the Lord will help us always.
Hna Diez in the nighttime told me that I was the companion she prayed for and more than what she hoped for. I then told her that I, all last week, honestly prayed for a change and for animos and if it was Heavenly Father's will that we could change the ward around that he could give me a comp that wanted to do that with me and it would be easier almost to open the area and start over, etc. The call for changes on Sunday night was an answer to my prayers and thoughts, and training was so unexpected but the Lord knew that was what I NEED right now to end well and be focused and so busy and re-learn things I have forgotten. How Heavenly Father knows us and what we need!!
Wednesday was the busiest, best, most happy day ever!!! I felt so focused and on top of the world having a comp with animos and energy and wanting to do everything.
Thursday was a bit rough desanimo wise, but the Lord always always helps me through!!
Friday was good but had another scary experience with opposition and the adversary's power and influence. So glad we have the Spirit and Heavenly Father's angels. I love Hna Diez´s prayers. She is so great and always prays for everything and everyone and wants to do everything she can!!
Saturday I finished Jesus the Christ!! Loved it. We had a great great comp study and I literally have felt guided by the Spirit in a few occasions this week to do an activity or ask a question or teach something that I hadn't planned and think she needs at that time, and precisely is what she needs or loved, etc. Thank heavens for the Spirit! I feel so grateful.
Tender mercy was the Relief Society Conference!!!!! How I love our Lord Jesus Christ and the Atonement and all the things they mentioned. It helped so much center my mind again and crazy how much they talked about the heart and justamente the Lord had been preparing me all week in my study with being able to recognize how many times the BOM focuses on the state of our hearts, etc. It's all about the heart!! It's all we have to give!
Sunday we had a wonderful comp study and we both were crying expressing our feelings about the mish and each other and how grateful we are for each other---we have only been together less than a week but already are really close---what a blessing! The Lord prepared me to receive other teachings I had studied.
I love something I found: "Trusting in God's will is central to our mortality. With faith in Him, we draw upon the power of Christ's Atonement at those times when questions abound and answers are few."--Ronald A. Rasband
Well, Sunday I was pretty down during the day and so so tired emotionally and physically and have felt so weighed down with changing the ward, reaching baptism goals, finding new people, putting dates, not getting lost, teaching my comp, fighting the inner feeling fight of going home and other stuff, etc etc. Many things--and yesterday for the 10th time someone wasn't home and I honestly had NO clue what to do at that point. I was out of ideas and juice. We were trying to find someone named Marcos. I stopped and prayed and fought desanimo for a few minutes as my comp tried to open a gate and I was looking at the maps, etc. Then tried to yell his name again, and as I yelled so loudly, "MARCOOOOOOS!!!!!" I literally heard a playing voice in my head, or memories of pool afternoons, someone answering back, "POLO!!!!!" and I busted up laughing alone in the street. Thank heavens our Father in Heaven has a sense of humor and helps us fight desanimo! :) We then found a family of 3---a referral from a member and we are really excited about it.
Pray that I can know what to do, and teach my comp, and we can find the elect and see baptisms and miracles! haha Thank you.
I pray for you ALWAYS!!! Write a list of questions for General Conference and I promise that they will be answered! I'm SOOOOO excited! It will be exactly what we all need! I love this work--the church is true. I love my Savior and His grace and His Atonement and I rely daily on Him and His sacrifice. I feel very blessed and though it's hard at times, the Lord helps us through, always, and that's how it always will be! He helps mold us and make us stronger and He knows what we need.
I love you!!!
Hermana Bryan
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