Second (and last) MTC Email

HOLA!!! Ok first of all, big news: I am actually leaving Tuesday NOT Wednesday! So, my departure date is 08/02 and I have to be at the MTC office at 5 am! Yikes. So....I think I will be calling pretty early that morning once I get to the SLC airport because my flight plans are: SLC to Dallas and I only have 45 mins to catch the plane to Miami. Then, I have like 1.5 hr layover in Miami to Guayaquil and land in Ecuador at 9:30 pm their time (which I'm not sure what the difference is). I can call you in Miami if that works better for you but just let me know!

Ok my mailing info is as follows:

Pouch mail (only postcards and letters that are single sheet, folded into 3 panels and taped at the top with no envelopes can be sent through pouch):

Sister Kenna Bryan

Ecuador Guayaquil North Mission

POB 30150

Salt Lake City, UT 84130-0150

Mission office for packages, etc:

Sister Kenna Bryan

Ecuador Guayaquil North Mission

Casilla de Correo 16160

Guayaquil

Ecuador

Phone: 593 4-228-4323

this is all on facebook too.

Ok I hate this time limit haha! I'm gunna try and hurry as I have a lot to share and say this week! How much I learn and how many experiences we go through in just 1 week!! Well, Friday 7/22 started as an amazing day and we had our first TRC teaching appt that afternoon. Everyone had an incredible experience so as my comp and I were waiting to go in, we were stoked! We knocked on her door and tried to get to know her throughout the whole lesson but she was just so hard and not friendly and she wouldn't answer our questions. We started teaching and it was absolutely horrible. We did our best, tried to have the Spirit, but no testimony I bore or invitation we extended her to know for herself or question we asked her affected her. She kept pretending to sleep and so I would try and get her even more involved than we were and she just said she didn't feel much, she was content in life, and she felt pressured. How she felt pressured I will never know because we couldn't even teach her! There are many more details but I don't have time. Just know we walked out and I started crying because we wanted to know what we could have done better--I mean this is the TRC!! I thought of everything that could have been wrong with us and as we were back with our district later watching Mormon Messages about a guy in Honduras, I started crying thinking of our trips and how that is missionary work too and why can't I be doing that and if this is the kind of teacher I am, why does the Lord want me here? I just felt so deeply disappointed, confused, down, etc. as I have really tried to work hard. It got worse and I actually was sobbing later with Hna. Maldonado and Logan as I expressed all I felt.

I learned SO much this day! I know that everyone has their agency. Some aren't ready and I really really really know I needed to experience this that day! Everyone told me this would be the hardest part for me as I tend to love people a ton and internalize things. I felt a taste of what rejection is and the godly sorrow that follows as you wonder if there was something you could have said or done differently that would have led to their embracing Christ and the greatest joy they would feel that the Gospel brings. The work is not done, the Spirit will guide, and the Lord provides and this has taught me SO much I can't describe it! Also that day we watched a talk by Elder Bednar and he said we need to become missionaries, not just go on a mission because that's not enough. That SO motivated me and it's been my daily goal ever since--it's amazing how lost I've been in this work since! I love the MTC and love missionary work!

Sunday was a wonderful devotional and as we sang the second verse of Come, Come Ye Saints (which has really struck me in the MTC), people couldn't contain themselves and within seconds the whole auditorium was standing and the Spirit was SO strong. Also I came across this quote and I love it :) "Faith is knowing that good will come from whatever happnes to us. Perhaps faith is not faith until it has been tried." Relates to my farewell talk!

I've had some really neat experiences this week teaching in the classroom lessons. I've really been blessed this week by Heavenly Father and have been able to feel the blessing that comes as the Spirit guides lessons and lets you know what direction to take a lesson or maybe just touches the heart of the investigator in their respective situation. I am so blessed to be in this environment here! I can't believe I leave in 4 days--what?! haha.

On Tuesday we had a wonderful devotional by Elder Simmons. He talked about the sanctification of the individual missionary as part of this work. He said "a mission is the most wonderful, awful thing in the world!"hahahaha but that the Lord wants a missionary who recognizes that. It's not going to be all glory but we don't grow when we don't have resistance and this experience is for me and will help me become who I've always wanted to become. He also said that sometimes we don't get what we want, no matter how noble the desire! But if we do all we can the Lord will give us what we need.

I can't even describe how much I LOVE my companions and district and I'm actually really getting sad to leave and wish I had more time here to immerse myself like I will never get to again. How wonderful this has been and how blessed I am to have had the wonderful people here in my life (teachers, comps, district, Logan, etc). We watched the Mormon message yesterday about the man who lost his family to the drunk teenager and completely forgave him--it made me wish so badly I could hug my family and loved ones and truly let you know how much I love you and am so grateful for you! I had to teach a situation in class yesterday and didn't know what to do and all I felt to do was bear my testimony about how I don't understand everything or why we all have to go through different things but I do know how much the Lord loves us. I know Heavenly Father knows what we need and that Christ completely understands everything. I know that accepting God's will is imperative and I have just LOVED this week and all of the experiences (highs and lows) I have gone through.

Lastly, last night we were about to have comp prayer and we were dying laughing all together. It was my turn and you know how well it goes to try and calm down :) well we all ended up busting up during multiple attempts of prayers. It's great to know we are still us you know?!

I went to the temple and it was amazing today--more to come later it's gunna kick me off. I'm so happy and so grateful and blessed here! I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH!!

I feel like I only shared the saddest/hardest part of my week but I actually am really happy and really grateful I had that experience. I KNOW I needed to experience that. I know it. And I've felt so blessed for so many reasons ever since this week. And I happened to get tender mercies from my besties Scott/Jess that day wouldn't you know?! :) thank you!!

So I love how real the devotionals are here and the leaders are. Every single person while speaking has spoken of how hard and difficult missions are and it's amazing to hear that because they don't mince words! As I don't think I have either maybe :) oops! But they also testify of how important and wonderful it is and how blessed we are to experience this. How true that is! Never before and never again will I get to immerse myself so fully in the Gospel and the scriptures and really learning to recognize and follow the Spirit because we are nothing without it! How real the love of our Heavenly Father is and I feel it and feel it for all of you just so magnified! I love you so much I hope you know! I definitely miss you but just feel so happy and blessed today to have had this experience!

I'm getting scared to leave in 4 days but also excited at the unknown experiences and beautiful/wonderful people that are there! I'm SO grateful for your support and prayers--they mean everything to me. Please know how blessed I feel to be here and what a tender mercy in and of itself it is that my perspective has almost 180 changed since I got here. I liked it then and appreciated it but now am seeing through different eyes this experience for what it is. How wonderful it would be to be able to say what Paul did in 2 Timothy 4:7 for every missionary who has served when they return. I have a long ways to go--I have more to learn in Spanish, more to learn how to teach, more people to learn from, more experiences to humble me and mold me and I am grateful for this first MTC experience with how many things happen! It has gone by so fast it seems yet when I think of how much I have learned and experienced I can't believe it has been packed into that short of a time!

I know this church is true. I testify of God's love for us--He is SO aware of our lives and what we need. We don't understand everything and we won't but Heavenly Father loves us and as we trust in Him, He will lead us along. Faith is the key to most everything in this Gospel and even a little bit is sufficient! You are more than you think you are and I have been so affected and touched by each one of you reading this email. Christ atoned for our sins, our sorrows, disappointments, sicknesses, everything! How blessed and humbled I feel to be a representative of Him and I need to work every day to become worthy of that title. The scriptures really are the word of God and I know now more than ever before that we can find any answer or any message of comfort or inspiration or knowledge in them. The temple is the house of the Lord and what an incredible place full of peace, love, and blessings. I encourage you all to go--it's the best thing you'll do :)

I am so grateful for the wonderful examples I have in my life. Wow I just can't describe how blessed I feel and humbled and how much love I feel for you loved ones in my life. Thank you for the letters everyone--they really have been some of the best parts of my day. Thank you for your prayers and support--love you!!! So much :)

Dallin: Logan and I LOVED getting your letter this week--how we have missed your contagious and humorous personality! We love you so so much. What a beast--I knew you would see some cuties on the trip :) haha thank you for describing people in detail as it helped us imagine them! I'm so so glad the CHurch History Trip was so wonderful--what was your favorite experience?? How did your Susquehanna River teaching go?? I can't wait to hear from you. Have fun at Vball camp and with your new friend in Utah!! We had a great TRC experience on Saturday just so you know--it was good!

First MTC Email

Logan says--and he is exactly right--that there are hard days and harder days, but each day is good.  I remind myself every day how blessed I am to have this opportunity to be a representative of my Heavenly Father and I only have one chance to do this!  So I need to make every moment count.  Your words of advice and counsel and comfort always come exactly when I need them and I thank you so so much for your letters--you don't know how much those mean to me each day.

The other day we watched a video of a lesson where the missionaries were extending a baptismal invitation. The sister got super scared all of a sudden and said in response, "I don't have to be baptized right now, right?!" She then got very emotional and softly said, "I don't want to do this anymore." How many times I have felt ALL of those same feelings and said that very same last phrase in my mind. However, she knew it was right and knew she needed to do it and she followed through. I now realize that life is full of these hard things that require faith obedience put into action but that blessings come as we follow Heavenly Father's will for our lives. This is how we grow into who we can become (as you say so many times, Mom. Thank you!) Also, I have discovered SO many amazing scriptures this last week about Heavenly Father's promises etc--how did I not see these before?! I have been very humbled about my teaching and Spanish but I know the Lord will make up the rest. I'm already feeling the pressure of only having 2 weeks left to learn this though and need to work every second!

My companion is not going to Ecuador--I'm the only Gringa in my district yet the only one going foreign! :) She's going to Ogden with the other elders in my district. We are family and I LOVE them!!! So I don't know if I told you but I was made Senior comp as well as the Coordinating Sister for my Zone the day after we got to the MTC last Thursday. I was emotional but the presidency said they felt super strongly about my calling before even meeting me. I know the Lord knew that I am happiest when serving and forgetting myself so he is giving me this opportunity! I just welcome the new sisters that arrive each week, take them around, teach them classes the first 2 days with the Zone leaders and then am the sister responsible for making sure things are ok in my zone, etc.

Sunday was super hard for me but Monday was so great! It was a tender mercy to see Logan and have him share such a neat quote with me from Pres Holland right as I was leaving breakfast. Life is so full of these mercies everyday!

My teacher, Bro. Anderson is SO awesome.

So, I watched Pres Holland's the "Miracle of the Mission". Wow. That was incredible and life changing and I went into more details on the recorder. I wrote 3 full pages of notes. What a perspective and some amazing things were said. He told us, "If this isn't what you imagined, welcome to the life of the Savior who knows too well about cups he doesn't want to drink!" As Christ said and did, at the end of my mission I want to be able to say that I truly have "suffered the will of the Father from the beginning". That word choice really struck me. Yet how wonderful of an act he did so we can live again. I am doing this so others can live with their families forever and have the greatest joy this Gospel brings!

I am already excited to see this unfold and I know it will get harder but so much more wonderful too! How blessed I am and I have so many emotions like all the time it's crazy but it's so great.

Nothing anyone says or tells you really prepares you for what a mission is really like but that's the cool thing about it--you figure it out and experience it for yourself.

I have so much to say but only like 2 mins! We had a devotional on Tues with the CUTEST COUPLE Elder and Sis H ammond. They are so cute and so happy and in love! I want tot be like them when I'm older and they had some great things to share.

The MTC has been a whirlwind of emotions! It's so great here and such a neat opportunity but it really is the absolute hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I'm emotional and exhausted but I know that I will look back at this as the greatest experience of my life. I already can see some of that and some days or times of the day more than others but it's so true :)

The people here are awesome and such examples to me. Logan is amazing and he blesses my life--the Lord knew I needed that.

LOVE YOU!!!

-Hermana Bryan

Unexpected MTC Email!!!

Hi!!! So I didn't think I was going to be able to email today but after questioning many people because others could email, the district president on call said we should email our family! I'm so glad---it was going to kill me to wait almost another week!

Thank you SO much for your letters--they helped so much and I loved reading them. It was so great to hear your voices on the phone as well and I really really needed it that day so I was grateful--what a tender mercy. So, I left my notebook in my room with everything I was going to write you in this email. Fail. I didn't think I was going to get to email! So prepare yourself for a more detailed email on Thursday :) and I need to start recording things on our digital recorder to send back to you haha oops.

So I'm starting to love the MTC--it's fun and the things we are learning here are SO great. I LOVE my companion and the other hermana companionship and our district is AWESOME. I can't describe how awesome they are! It's just 8 of us (4 elders and 4 hermanas) so it's nice and we are getting close to each other. We have so much fun because everyone is so good-natured and has a great sense of humor. Maybe too much fun at times but hey :) haha. I do feel at times like we are trapped and the only time we really feel "free" is on the field at gym hahaha! It's just hard being treated like children sometimes at summer camp but I know that this place accomplishes miracles too and I'm grateful for the whole program.

Our teachers are awesome--especially Hermano Andersen. He is such a powerful teacher--super good natured and just is a really sharp guy. He's 25, married, and served in Guatemala a few years back. Our other teacher, Hermana Hunter is good too. She isn't always super impressive but I love how real she is and she described some real feelings and experiences that related to us. She also has let us practice a lot which helps a TON! Even though the practice scenarios are hard, I love them. A lot. Today, Hermano Andersen gave us many different scenarios we had to practice with investigators saying no to a baptismal invitation for various reasons, etc. It was awesome to practice when I was the missionary--it's so hard to sum up what you learn. I feel like I've been here forever at times because of how much you learn and everything you do! Also, because the days are so long adn we're so exhausted haha.

I've promptly been reminded of how far I have to go in the Spanish language. When I'm teaching a practice lesson or part of a lesson to my companion or an elder, etc. I have SO many things I want to say and express but lack the words to do so! However, as my companion said: poco a poco! I am very glad I'm in the advanced program--I don't feel lost at all so I know it's where I need to be and at my level but I am working on speaking and learning new words and asking mis companeras how to say different things if I don't know. I am excited for the day where I can totally feel comfortable saying everything my heart desires! But I do feel blessed to have a head start and to be at this level because I know it will help that day come sooner. Well, hopefully! When it comes down to it, it's not about what we say or how much we know and can relate to investigators. It's all according to the Spirit and if we follow that and truly try to get to know the investigators, their concerns, and let them know how we feel about them, the Lord and the Holy Ghost take care of the rest.

Today at lunch Logan told me about such a neat experience he had with his companion teaching a 30 minute lesson they were agonizing over. Their teacher seems a bit ruthless but it will prepare them and they have most definitely learned to rely wholly on the Spirit and let it guide the lesson accordingly. How much I learn from my dear brother :) We have been able to eat lunch together every day! It strengthens me actually and I feel so blessed to have him here. The other two hermanas in our room and district are going to Denver North as well so it's been fun for them to know another elder companionship going there.

Yes, we have seen the Boyds! I see Michael like everywhere haha. Jason's always hilarious to see--I love it! Also, we've seen Tierre tons and Pato, Lluvia's son a few times. Logan's seen some people he knew from BYU and from Vegas and I've seen a few girls from my program at BYU. Wow if I write this much about nothing I apologize in advance for my future emails!! I will give you more details later but I just am glad I can email you today.

Please tell people that they can email me! I didn't know that! I think I can only write mail back but it would be SO great to get emails from people and will actually be easier to receive mail that way in Ecuador probably. My email is: kenna.bryan@myldsmail.net

I feel like I didn't say anything but just know that I'm exhausted, I miss everyone SO much and miss being able to communicate but that I am so happy somewhere inside I know because I can tell when I speak to people. Not sure if that makes sense but it's kind of like what you said in your DearElder letters that even though I was down that day, somehow it actually came across as being good and happy! That's so true.

Lastly, thank you also so much for telling me about the specific prayers being said for me. It wasn't a coincidence I think that you mentioned this! Every single night and morning and other times when I need it, I have prayed to be able to feel the love, strength, and power from the many prayers and thoughts given for me. The thought to pray for the specific people I knew were praying for me and to be able to feel their love, thoughts, and prayers popped in my head the first night when I felt I needed extra help. It is incredible the feeling of peace, love, and strength that comes to me immediately after. I am so grateful for everyone doing so and want to let you know I am praying for everyone specifically and thinking of you. I don't think my prayers have been this long my whole life haha!

Anyway, I love you all SO much. I can't believe I've only been here 3 days but I'm sure the time will start flying. I can't wait to be able to communicate again soon--this part is kinda killing me not to be able to share everything because it's so hard to sum up.

Love you!! Cuidense mucho

-Hermana Bryan

ps: look up the words to they song "We'll Bring the World His Truth". We sung this our first night as new missionaries at the fireside and never before have those words struck me so powerfully. Also, a musical number entitled "Send Me" was sung and that's exactly how I was feeling--it was incredible so if you can find it--it's awesome! And the words are wonderful.

Joshua 1:9

MTC Day!!

Wed July 13th came all too soon!       Early that morning, we cherished some family time as we went through an endowment session at the Mt. Timpanogos temple. Kenna and Logan talked to Dallin on the phone (he was in DC on the Church History Trip). We said our goodbyes and headed to the MTC for a brief, final (temporary) farewell. No one could have prepared us for how difficult this was, but we were inspired as we watched our valiant children answer the call and go forward with faith to deliver the message of the Lord's restored Gospel and to be in His care.

The remainder of the posts on this blog will be the emails from Hermana Bryan.

On March 25th, Kenna and her brother, Logan, opened their mission calls together. Our family was all there, and we had many good friends come to support them. It was overwhelming! Kenna, being the oldest, opened her call first...she was called to the Ecuador, Guayaquil North Mission!!! (Look at Logan's expression of joy as she read her destination). We were all thrilled! She enters the MTC on July 13, 2011 and will only be there for 3 weeks since she is already quite fluent in Spanish. How perfect this mission will be for her! The people of Ecuador will love her, and she already loves them.

Logan opened up his call next...Colorado, Denver North Mission!!! And he enters the MTC on July 13, 2011 as well--what a tender mercy!!!

Needless to say, our cups "runneth over". Kenna and Logan will share this most sacred time together, and the rest of our family will share in their joys as we read about their experiences and pray for them daily. Tomorrow, we drive up to Provo, and though emotions will be strong, we know that the cause for which they are going is much greater than being separated a few short months...and our bonds of love and testimony will grow even stronger.