What a Week!

Phew! What a week. My mind kind of turns circles thinking about everything we experience in a week haha it´s like an eternity of things and feelings that we go through. Welcome to the mission :) It´s such a wonderful learning and growing experience. And SORRY in advance because I´m just writing a lot of what I have in my journal so it might be long.

I will get to see all sessions of Conference and am SO so excited! They are at the Stake Center and Hna Angulo says there is a room with it broadcast in English but we aren´t sure if we can be split up so I´m just hoping and praying I can see it in English. I went to the temple twice in Guayaquil and most missionaries don´t get to go to the temple except for special occasions or when arriving or leaving.

Tell the Bashaws congrats and wow I hope they´re handling everything well! Sheri will be awesome to work with you Mom! Congrats in advance to the Dean family--I´m SO excited for Pat and Tiffani and their kids. How I love them and how the Lord works miracles in our lives. What a wonderful day Saturday will be. Give them hugs from me. Also if you could tell Jill Gibson and their family Hi from me, I´ve been thinking about them this week and miss them and just wanted them to feel my love :) Also hi to Jill Orme and Brie Call (maiden names sorry girls haha) because I don´t have their addresses and they wrote me for my bday over a month ago.

Ok on to our week:

Monday we went to the Alcivar´s and hung out waiting for them to gather their stuff together and go to the beach. We got permission to walk without our shoes on in the beach and it was Hna Angulo´s first time can you believe it?! Haha we were excited. Manuel was acting pretty rudely although I´m sure he was joking but it was ongoing. We had fun talking and tossing the ball around with Pedrito and Rebeca as Manuel and Pepe played in the waves. We all had a little photo shoot but then things turned downhill pretty quickly. They thought it would be hilarious to cover us in sand and Manuel took Hna Angulo while Pepe and Pedrito started with me and it was non-stop throwing sand for forever. We couldn´t get away and they didn´t understand to stop so we had sand ALL over everywhere in our hair, clothes, bodies, backpacks, eyes, ears, wherever you could see there was sand. It was horrible and we couldn´t defend ourselves because we´re missionaries! And they didn´t get that we had a lesson to go to and because we couldn´t go looking like that and there was no way to get all the sand off because of how excessive it was, we had to go back home and shower and lost an hour of teaching time. So we felt pretty badly about it and I was really really bothered. Haha so that was Monday :)

Tuesday our ZLs announced that from now on, our DLs would be the ones to verify our progress in the training program and we were pretty disappointed because of our DL. We had to explain to him how to carry out this responsibility and what he had to do and then after the practice, he told us we had failed big time in something and we were all ears to improve! That´s my fav part about the verification--the progress I can make and the goals I can set to improve weekly! However, he picked up my training program pointed at the pic of the missionaries and reprimanded me for not looking at my comp the entire time she was talking and that if my new comp comes in and asks who trained me she would be in disbelief I wasn´t staring at my comp the whole time. We were dumbfounded. That was our piece of advice? I explained to him our belief that it is key to look in the investigator´s eyes too but that I would really work on it. I felt so disappointed like I lost my opportunity to continue learning and progressing so we talked to the ZLs about it and I´m grateful for Elder Van Wagoner´s understanding! We will see if they change it for tomorrow--I think they will. We are def learning patience and trust in the Lord through this situation though. The DL is from Guatamala, Dad and speaks Kekchi (no idea how to spell) and didn´t really learn to speak Spanish here much so that's another barrier and he´s trying poor guy.

We had a lesson with Manuel that was pretty bad--he was more closed than ever and every answer was I Don´t Know and afterwards, Hna Angulo started crying a lot and I sat down with her and talked her through it. We know that kid loves us and is progressing--he def tries us sometimes though :) We then also stopped by Gisela´s house and helped her sweep the floor and shared a tiny message with her kids. I wonder if anything will ever come of our service or love? But I know everything happens for a reason and we are led to people here for a reason!

Wednesday was Hna Angulo's 16 mos anniversary in the mish! The day started out incredibly! We had an absolutely amazing lesson with Soheil--he has so much light and is so real. He told us that for 3 hours straight before coming to our appt, he battled thoughts and feelings of not wanting to come but still came. He feels like he can´t keep living this life alone and thought of moving back to Iran even though that might mean jail. In my mind that's way worse but he thinks and feels a ton and it eats away at him. He recognizes his life could be much worse but also feels like what is the purpose of this suffering or being a good person? So we completely changed our plans and taught him the Plan of Salvation focusing on our purpose here on earth and it was so great. He could feel the Spirit even though he doesn´t understand Spanish completely all the time. Soheil recognizes he needs to dedicate more time to God and loves praying or talking to God. It was a cookie cutter lesson: he opened up, the Spirit was there, we could crack up laughing, yet testify, and it was just ideal. Soheil recognizes what most people don´t and that is: to sacrifice something for God is so worth it. He said, imagine the blessings we will miss if we don´t do what God requires! We won´t ever get anywhere if we don´t act or walk to where God is--we can´t sit and wait because we won´t ever receive anything if we do. We were just dumbfounded at this 24 year old who has lived more life than any of us ever hope to and his wisdom. I asked if he was willing to sacrifice to go to church at 8 am even though he works until 5 am even though it will be difficult. He said yes and said if you think about it, nothing is difficult if it´s for God. I started tearing up when he said that. How true that is and how much we can learn from this young man.

We then had a lesson with Lesly--what a noble grand spirit she is. We taught her 2 lessons this week. The last one we taught, we ended up finding out that her family wasn´t going to be living in our boundaries after all. This news really affected me. We had considered Lesly a walk-in miracle and answer to our prayers. Also, because at the beginning of our lesson, I had the strongest impression that this incredible, beautiful and strong girl would serve a mission one day. Then we found out she had those desires. It was really special for me to feel that and then we had to turn her over. Yet we know there is a reason she had to be taught by Hna Angulo and me and trust in the Lord. We haven´t seen the fruits of our labors here in Manta and I think this was another example of this and it affected me but she is so special and we feel blessed to have known her for a bit! We stopped by Rocio´s to see what happened and wow what a change. She got super defensive and kind of mad and gave our BOM back with the pamphlets and changed her opinion on every single thing she had ever said when we taught her. We bore strong and final testimonies through the bars of her store and wished her a nice life because she told us we were wasting time coming there. Crazy how Satan gets people through the tiniest means sometimes!

Thursday we started off the day visiting Rebeca, and Manuel was there too. She had been to the hospital because she is way underweight and malnourished and came home with the news that she was forbidden from playing sports--the thing she loves the most--because of her situation. She has to take meds and was pretty down because of the sports. She started tearing up when we talked to her about it. We cried a little bit with her and I think it touched her to know how much we actually care because we were just there to visit her and show her we care. Manuel was back to normal--thank the heavens! :) We sang Come Thou Fount especially for Rebeca and she was really touched and we bore testimony and left. It was a special and wonderful lesson. Also, they started telling us that we need to make a pact to return together to Manta in 2 years. I started crying thinking of the possibility of mine and Hna Angulo´s time together coming to an end if she gets transferred this next transfer in 3 weeks. I really love her and we are a great team. We work well together, understand each other, can give each other counsel, laugh and cry together. We had another lesson with Manuel in the evening and it didn´t go as well as planned but he is just like a kid--super curious about everything and we are thinking of ways to teach and get him to feel. He is the one we fight the hardest for and worry the most about darn Manuel :)

Friday we had some good lessons and we had a lesson with Maria Alcivar about the Atonement. It was really great. She has been super down and worried about the Rebeca thing and the lesson was wonderful. Daniela Zambrano accompanied us for 4 hours today--she´s a great girl :) We knocked doors and contacted because we don´t have a program and are left without references from the members or much support so what else do we do?! haha It´s kind of fun too and it was fun to teach Daniela. I made her contact at least one person before she could go home and she was so excited afterwards--she´s gunna make a great missionary in 6 years. We then had a lesson with Manuel and it was superb! Hna Angulo had created a word search and the lesson was super simple about the Spirit. He answered every single question, wanting to particpate and afterwards kind of looked at us and laughed and said, Ï´m Mormon!´haha we were so happy afterwards at that success.

Saturday--the day of all days. We had planned another activity with Manuel and Rebeca and Pepe but they were distracted and the environment was super heavy because of some disagreements they had with other people who were there, etc. Pepe was having problems with his girlfriend too and although he was perfect in his commitment to stop drinking this whole week--didn´t take a single sip--he said he would probably drink that night because of his problems. Manuel said he might too or at least one because it was their friend's bday. I got super frustrated because obviously he doesn´t understand the importance of this or have deep enough desires to change 100 percent, etc. No one committed to go to church and Rebeca said no to the RS Conference. I tried to bear testimony and let them know how I felt and that I wasn´t sure they understood the importance of this message and that 1 or 2 times isn´t enough, that God requires more of us--all of us. But they were distracted and I was just sad and frustrated. We ended up each sharing some questions or personal thoughts we all had and it was a good bonding time with Rebeca. Pepe let us know we had answered a lot of his un-voiced questions and we could end with a hymn and prayer and felt the Spirit but something happened inside of me during the lesson. After, I literally felt like something had died inside of me. The joy you feel when the people you love with ALL of your heart is indescribable yet the opposite, I was actually beyond tears and just felt so sad, frustrated, wondered what I could have done-what we can do, etc. I was way affected and thank HEAVENS for RS General Conference and the incredible talk by Elder Uchtdorf. That talk was heaven sent to me and Hna Angulo. It´s hard to not be too hard on yourself when you realize the importance of this work and your calling as a missionary but we really are working hard and with all we have and we have to be patient with ourselves and realize the small miracles that make it all worth it. It was wonderful. Maria came with us and it was so great to have her there--she loved it. I know that the prophet and his apostles are called of God. I have such a strong testimony of this work--it is true! If you are in doubts, pray, ASK--that is key, listen, read the scriptures, go to church, and as sure as I am living, you will get an answer! Heavenly Father is so aware of our lives and will give us what we need--though those needs may be different from our desires or what our mortal eyes can see or expect. We recognized that our greatest struggles and tears for the Alcivar family have also been our greatest joys and laughters. We are grateful for them. Please pray that they will go to conference, FEEL, and accept baptism. Thank you so much for your support :)

Sunday Marianela and Gabriel came to church--they are showing forth tons of faith and desire and need our love and time and support now. I am so grateful for them! They had both gotten home from work at 4 am yet still came. What faith! Soheil didn´t show up but we won´t give up! The bishop is now showing us concern, wants to help us, and accompany us to visit members, etc. Such huge progress in our relationship with him. We ended up going home because I was really sick. I have felt completely and constantly dizzy for 2 days straight and Hna Angulo could tell I was really bad. I don´t know what happened but I had zero energy, and was just not well but started crying because this was the first time we went home for my sake. She put her arm around me as we were walking home and reminded me of the words of Pres Uchtdorf. She said she would really miss me and I 100 percent agree. I am so grateful for her :)

So this week was mostly hard and we are in the battles of the mission but we aren´t giving up! There´s lots to learn and experience and we know how important this work is! The church is so true. Please don´t ever forget that the small things are the big things to our Heavenly Father: scriptures, prayer, church attendance, obedience, etc. But also that nothing is too small for Him to care about. He loves you! He knows your life and potential. Allow Him to help you grow and allow Him to share His love and light with you in your lives. Thank you for your constant support, love, prayers, and letters. I´m so beyond blessed and grateful for you! I can´t really express my thoughts or feelings well right now but I love you! I love the message I have the privilege of sharing. We can use all the prayers we can get since we don´t have much success right now in Manta and are searching for the Lord´s chosen and battling with those we are teaching. Yet we love the people here and are grateful for every lesson learned!

--Hermana Bryan

Dad: Are there any meds for dizziness?

Logan, Mom, Dad, Dallin:  I love you SO much!  I don´t have anymore time but I love you so much and am so grateful for your support and emails.  Logan keep up the amazing work and Dallin beast it up..the 9 and a half pack is on its way!  I have the best family in the world!!!

Pics: Pepe, me, Rebeca, Manuel, Pedrito

Dulce--their niece

Another Week Gone By!

Hola Familia!!

How I miss you today. I feel SO tired and kinda under the weather so I really really miss you and miss being able to talk and laugh about anything and everything and spend time together. The thought of your roadtrip made me so happy for you and that time you spent and also sad because I miss you all so much! Dumb BYU haha oh well. Maybe the season will start looking up.

I have LOVED hearing about the updates on Nicole, Mom and Dad. She has always impressed me with her patience :), love for her kids, etc. Keep me updated. So cool about Tara´s baptism and when you told me about her husband, I started crying. How this work changes lives!! I bet she can hardly keep her joy contained.

Thank you, Dad for the wonderful scriptures and advice about continuing to minister. That actually has been a huge internal battle with me when I can see the lack of interest from people and hate that I feel that we are wasting time on those people and there are others out there who need this message. I just have to use discernment to know when to continue ministering and when to not. We are trying! And trying to find ´los escogidos´ the Lord has promised are ready and waiting to receive and act upon this message. We still don´t have much of a program but are trying to work and give it all we´ve got.

Packages, Mom thank you for your early thoughts for Christmas! I´ve racked my brain and really don´t have many ideas because there aren´t many things I need need. I would love protein bars as you know, that CD sounds awesome, a dress suit--they are needed for conferences with Pres sometimes, CTR rings for Manuel and Rebeca and Hna Angulo (although she will be in Colombia by then I will send it to her), anti itch cream and I will keep thinking :) Thank you so much mom I miss you and love you so much!

Congratulations on the engagements to Josh Tuscano and my Brookie Friedel/Eric Boman!!! :) so excited for you!

This week started out kinda rough after P day ended on Monday and was another up/down week after such an amazing week of happiness and laughter, etc. but we learn tons every time!

Monday we made Patacones to celebrate the first day of our new cambio! Look up patacones on google and thats what they are haha. Those and Chifles are hugely popular here. We were waiting for Manuel to show up for his lesson on Monday and he didn´t so we taught Rebeca and that crazy loving family served us Ceviche and wouldn´t let us leave and we finally ended our lesson to realize it was 10 minutes past 9:30--the latest we should ever be in the house. Manuel finally arrived and walked in the door as we were walking out. I made sure to shake his hand say bye and say bye to everyone else but Hna Angulo really quickly and shortly said goodbye to him--it was kind of rudely but only because she was so concerned about being late. However, Manuel took it that she was super mad and disappointed in him for missing our lesson and wasn´t worth her time of day. I know her and really it was only because she was super worrried about being late but everyone else couldn´t see that. It was bad. I saw Manuel´s face and it killed me--he was super hurt and sad and shameful. It literally killed me to see him like that because I can tell how sensitive he is and how much he feels things. I couldn´t really sleep and had to write him a letter.

Anyway that was our drama of Mon night. Tuesday we got a new Zone leader: Elder Van Wagoner and he is awesome. I learned SO much that day--more so than in my 7 weeks of zone meetings combined. And our district leader got changed too--we couldn´t believe our luck haha this change will be a more difficult one. We really are the ones that will be teaching the district for a while--its kind of a disaster because he has no idea what to do or how to effectively teach, yet kind of exercises dominion in a brusque manner--Hna Angulo is WAY struggling with it haha poor thing. I just laugh at our luck but oh well! Oh Joseph. We had a lesson with Isidro that was pretty frustrating on Tuesday. We watched Finding Faith in Christ and all he had to say after was that he had seen it before and it was a good movie but he had seen it! He is only thinking and not feeling so we explained things to him pretty directly and committed him to try and feel. We need revelation for this guy! And we haven´t seen him since Tues because of his schedule.

We then saw Manuel and Rebeca later on and Manuel wasn´t okay of course! So I kind of told Hna Angulo I think we should change things up. We spent time regaining their trust and confidence and played Truth or Dare--mostly Truth because there are few things missionaries can be dared to do haha and then chatted. They wanted to talk about what we really have analyzed about each other´s personalities. It was super interesting and it was mostly right on! Manuel was a teeny bit hostile towards Hna Angulo because he was hurt but I gave him the note I wrote and then we watched with them ¨To This End Was I Born¨. We bore testimony and the Spirit was there and I felt a ton better afterwards and that we had grown closer to them for sure. It was slmost 3 hours but it did wonders for regaining the relationship. Maria--Rebeca's mom was telling us that when we come back they want us to spend the night with them and they will put down mattresses and take us to their favorite place Cohimiis (no idea how to spell) etc. They really do love us and I´m so grateful for them!

I´m gunna try and sum up a lot of the rest haha. I almost got bitten by a dog this week! That was pretty crazy. I was walking by and the dog was chilled out and wasn´t doing anything and all of a sudden Hna Angulo yelled CUIDADO and the dog's face and mouth was ON my leg as I jumped forward and ran a bit to get away from him. He almost bit me but didn´t have the chance before I reacted. Scary haha.

Also EVERYWHERE we go we see the name Alcivar and it's kind of become creepy that everyday someone mentions their family or the name or we find papers or old Books of Mormon with their names that really aren´t theirs, etc. It´s a sign we are there for many reasons we have taken it to be :)

So we had frustrating lessons with Rocio and were super concerned if she was ready. Thursday I broke down for a little while because sometimes I have felt like it´s a waste of my time here because so many of the converts here become less active right away so what are we working so arduously for if our words will be held against them when they choose to not follow through after baptism?? When our whole body and heart is in this work it´s hard to think about people not remaining firm and I started bawling at the thought of leaving and having no one. It's hard because really I only have a few investigators and have had zero baptisms which I know does not matter at all but the ones that do get baptized, I want to remain and from Hna Angulo's experience she has only a few of hers that are still active. I just felt a bit worthless that day and know it was Satan trying to get me down! Because my whole heart is in this work, I really do love the people, I see the vision of the importance of this work and see how much it matters and that´s why I care--I want them to remain and have their own strong testimony too so we will do all we can to make sure that happens and pray and pray and pray :) Just another hard thing to deal with in the mission when you work and work and work and still don't have much of a program and nothing to show for it but our hearts are in it, our laughter and tears too and we pray everyday for more revelation and inspiration and strength because this is not our work! It´s the Lord´s.

We had a wonderful lesson with a couple Marianela and Gabriel. The Spirit was SO strong during the First Vision as it usually is and they described how strongly they felt it and accepted to get married and then baptized. We followed up on Saturday and they both had prayed and felt this was the right thing and although some things will surely be difficult for them, they want to get married and baptized and have agreed to set a date for their marriage before their baptismal date of Oct 22. They also wanted to know if they could get married in the church, etc and we talked about temple marriages and how 1 year after they would have that beautiful opportunity and they immediately wanted to know if we would be able to go with them :) They are golden and a blessing from the Lord for sure.

Friday = WEIRD day where everything was crazy and went wrong. Rocio didn´t show up for her baptismal interview and we waited for 2 hours for her, calling, etc. We decided to walk to the church to see if she was there and on the way there an elderly man stopped and called us over, super happily and kindly! We were thinking wow maybe this is the reason for this desafio right now! He started pulling out some credentials and asking our ages and then pulled out his ID card and asked me to read what it said. Well it said Viudo bahaha and Hna Angulo immediately laughed and said Hermano we´re not going to marry you! He then immediately spent like 10 minutes directly talking to me and offering me all kinds of money, materialistic things, a good life, his good personality, etc. He was 70 YEARS OLD. Bahaha Hna Angulo was busting up laughing not even trying to hide it and I felt badly because I was laughing too even though he was talking to me and trying to convince me to accept his marriage proposal. Oh Joseph.

Saturday we found out that Rocio had gotten super mad at tithing. Not about the commandment because she agrees with paying tithing, etc but about the tithing slip. Just the paper! She got super mad and doesn´t agree that you write a name because ¨God knows and that´s all that matters¨ and even though we tried to explain and testify that just as God has registers in the heavens and organization, he expects the same organization here on earth, etc etc but she wouldn´t have it. It´s incredible how something so small changed a person completely. So our baptism fell through this week! But surprisingly we weren´t super disappointed--I think we could tell something was off and not completely ready. Saturday we had a great lesson with the Alcivar family again and each time we meet with them someone new becomes our investigator :) Friday it was Manuel´s little sister Isabel who is 14 years old and Saturday Ulbio--their brother who is 17 years old. Of course everyone else was there too haha. Ulbio is another testament and miracle of how much this family is amazing and we are there for a reason and how people change because of the Gospel.

Last Sunday, we stopped by for Rebecás birthday and he was there. Pedrito was trying to convince Ulbio to go to church and he harshly told me he didn´t believe in God, only evolution and his parents, etc etc. He was super closed and hard hearted about it. Well Saturday, he was in the same room and said he didn´t want to participate he would just sit there. Before teaching, we addressed the topic of evolution and testified that God exists and directs all of that science and evolution he believes in. We explained to him our beliefs and united the two topics into a testimony of the both of them combined and he was super interested. After that, he wanted to read over my shoulder the scriptures we read and then accepted to read parts of other things we were reading and then contributed in the lesson! We had an FHE with them later on on Saturday as well and shared 1 Sam 16:7 and then went around writing a quality we can see in the other people that isn´t super apparent. Well I think that really touched Ulbio too because he was super full of light after that and interested and said he would be willing to go to church.

Yesterday, Sunday = Sacrament meeting of MIRACLES! We went by to pick up the Alcivars and Manuel hopped down the stairs--the first one ready! I was so so so happy haha this kid has made SO much progress! Rebeca, Manuel, Pedrito, Maria and then Marianela (the spouse of Gabriel) came to church and then they wanted to stay for more than Sac meeting! Rebeca and Manuel were going to leave but then wanted to stay becuase it was my class :) Marianela stayed all 3 hours, Pedrito got whisked away with the young men and women and it was just SO so happy--this is the true joy that people describe. I love these people SO much! Also, when we stopped by to use the restroom yesterday, Ulbio was there and said no one had woken him up but really wanted to go to church next Sunday! Such a difference between that answer and the one from one week ago :) I can´t even describe how much I love this family haha we were there every single day this week and please pray for them that they will continue and accept baptismal dates and remain firm and strong in the Gospel even after we leave. We are a bit concerned about when we leave because of how close we all are but the Gospel and a testimony of that takes care of that part :) Also, every single young girl in the church was completely enthralled with Manuel haha and I´m pretty sure he doesn´t even recognize it. Never has another investigator gotten that kind of welcome before ;) Also at church, a young girl walked in and said she knew about the church, loved it and wanted to be baptized. WHAT?! Such a blessing that walked into our lives. We are going to start meeting with her--she is super sharp.

Well we had another hard lesson with a less active last night who is actually the coach of Rebeca´s handball team. She has gone through a ton of hard things and because of that feels regrets for never seeking after her dreams or becoming the person she dreamt of becoming. Because of those thoughts, she constantly leaves her kids with her sister, seeking after other things and while it´s so sad to think of how she feels and what she´s going through--she can´t think about only herself right now. She has a family, kids to take care of who need a mom and God to put first in her life as well. It´s incredible that selfish thoughts--that people take for happiness deserved--actually end up ruining people and families and making them less happy. We are testifying boldly and calling people back to the church one individual at a time it seems like haha.

Anyway sorry this is long and random but this was our week. We are working, trying to rise above the tired-ness and are so grateful for our Alcivar family and Marianela and Gabriel. We recognize the blessings of the Lord and are humbled by how far we have to go and just could use all the prayers you have for us and especially our investigators and that we can find the Lord's chosen and people who are willing and waiting to receive and act :)

The pics are of me and Hna Angulo making Patacones and of us with Daniela Zambrano--such a great young 15 year old girl who will be an incredible missionary!

Love you all so SO much and miss you! I´m praying for you everyday--thank you all for your emails and examples to me!

Love,

Hermana Bryan

Logan: how are Kelly and Jake?  I love your boldness with Todd--such an example to me Logee!  You are the best missionary EVER.  Do you have any ideas for object lessons--you mentioned one in your email?  I would love those ideas!  I miss you so so much and hope your week was incredible.  You are the BEEESSST---Nacho Libre

Mom and Dad: how I miss you.  You both make me want to be better and I am SO grateful for your example to me and the way you have taught us in the Gospel.  Thank you for your example of a happy marriage and how important this Gospel is and remaining firm.  I love your counsel, scriptures, experiences, thoughts, feelings, etc.  MISS you so so much.  Can´t wait until we can all come here together and share in the happiness :)

Dallin; I loved your email!  How´s school? Hard?  What's your responsibility for Stuco and homecoming?  Buddy I´m SO proud of you that even though you have been invited to things (how could you not--so popular, good looking, funny, such a beast, with light and love for everyone :) but really though) that you have talked with Mom and Dad and all realized how important it is to avoid any and all situations where there are any MAYBES.  There can be no Grey areas in living the Gospel of Jesus Christ because that is what leads to all this heartache and hard work we have when we see how many less actives or people who are truly not converted in the Gospel.  You have such a strong testimony and realize how important it is.  Although it may be hard to resist some of those seemingly fun activities, I PROMISE you, Dallin you will be blessed doubly for standing true to what you know to be true and also for your obedience to Mom and Dad because they receive revelation for us and can know and feel what is good for us as children.  Dallin you are the best 15 year old I know and teach me so much.  You are stronger than half of these members here who are adults and have families--you will be the best missionary and father along with Logee.  Stay strong, happy, funny, dance for me and always be obedient--that´s the key to happiness!  LOVE YOU!!!

Sept 12 Weekly Email

HOLA!!! Wow what a difference in weeks this has been! I´m truly grateful for this week. Even though we really don´t have a program here in Manta, we don´t have many investigators, our ward doesn´t love to help us and the members struggle, we have been so happy this week. We crack up laughing every day, we have been trying out super new ways to find people and what to say during initial contacts, etc. It has been so refreshing to kind of start many things anew and completely rely on our trust and faith in the Lord for His direction in His work. He knows everything and knows the people who are ready to receive the Gospel and we have been trying to fully rely on Him--which is what we should be doing anyway--its just that´s all we have right now and we have been so happy!

I forgot to write last week that the Bishop stood up and bore his testimony and said, Ï want to bear my testimony about something different and something that I´ve always wanted to do but never have. That is--the scriptures. I was shocked! He bore complete witness and testimony about the power of the scriptures and reading them everyday and he was so happy he could finally testify of that and I was so grateful for the blessing we had to see that fruit of our labors.

Tuesday: we had an AMAZING lesson with Rebeca, Pepe, Rebeca´s mom Maria--who we found out is a less active, and Manuels little brother Pedro. We taught the Restoration and they are super fun and goof off a lot although they have desires yet we were teaching and as soon as I began to recite the First Vision, they completely dropped everything they were doing or looking at and couldn´t take their eyes off me. They were intensely focused, wide-eyed, and super affected. Rebeca said she got chills all over and Pepe said his hair was standing straight up. The Spirit was so so strong--the strongest I think I´ve ever felt during the First Vision. It was one of the most wonderful feelings and they each promised to pray--I LOVE this family and love that each time there seems to be another family member listening!

We had lunch with the Lucas Hoppe family and left their house skipping and singing because Hermano Lenin and Hermana Helena were talking to each other, laughing, joking, flirting, holding hands, and wanted to be around each other--it was SO wonderful to see!

Wednesday: weird day--we didn´t really contact at all and all of our lessons fell through and we got reprimanded by yet another offended member because we don´t visit her mom who literally is dying and looks dead--Dallin would have been super afraid poor thing--its really sad to see that. Anyway it was a weird day.

Thursday: we had a great lesson with Maria Alcivar--Rebecas mom and just need her to recognize her answer or revelation--she has a lot of doubts and is scared she wont get an answer but she is so awesome.

We also had a great lesson with Odallis--Giselas daughter

Friday: we had a lesson with Rocio--she is like teaching a little girl but that makes it kind of easy! She has lots of desire, just doesn´t understand a lot of things so we taught her the Law of Chastity and I took it really slowly and simply haha its kind of easy and fun to teach her.

Highlight of the day--Hermana Angulo and I passed a dead chick outside our house on the way to an appt and commented on how gross it was. Well we had to go back home at night to get something and we were coming out and it was dark outside already. All of a sudden I heard this gross sound and looked down and Hermana Angulo was in horrified shock because she had stepped on the chick and we had both heard and witnessed the explosion of its innards. I started DYING laughing because of how horrified Hna Angulo was and it was SO disgusting to hear and witness--see that explosion and I´m so grateful it wasn´t me who had to feel it too. Bahaha we can all imagine how I would have handled it.

This week I´m SO grateful for my companionship with Hna Angulo. We crack up laughing everyday, we love talking, love our new plans for contacting people, being more bold, and have just had a completely fun week even without a program. We are happy and I´m grateful for her and that at least we still have 6 more weeks together!

Saturday: we visited Laura and I just need to say that here in Ecuador it makes me sick every time I hear or witness people with children. When their children cry or fuss or scream, people here for generations have taught you scream back, get super angry, hit them, etc. It´s horrible and I hate the feeling every time! They need classes here :)

Anyway we had a lesson with Rebeca and Pepe today for 2 whole hours--it was so so exhausting! They were way more out of control than normal yet still understood, felt, and committed to act. That is key. If investigators aren´t acting, they either aren´t feeling or aren´t completely understanding. If you can go back and fully recognize they have felt and understood, then they won´t progress and its nice to know that theres a key for when to keep trying to teach and when to drop. Anyway the lesson was on the Word of Wisdom and it ended well.

We also started teaching a sister of a new investigator and were just getting to know her when her husband came home and her face changed into fear, anger, shame, etc. It was so evident and he immediately started pacing the floor. Minutes later, he told us he coulnd´t take it and he had to leave for work soon and asked us to leave. We apologized and told him of course and then told the sister we would call her later in the week to visit her. He immediately came and said that we needed to ask him first and we apologized and asked. He said absolutely not that he didn´t want those things taught in his home. We said ok thats fine but we can teach her in another place, right? He said absolutely not because she is his wife and he will tell her what to do, etc. Turns out she isn´t allowed to leave the house even to go across the street to her moms house. She literally is a slave. Poor poor thing it was horrible to see and made me so sad that she doesn´t stand up for herself or leave because she works so she could leave!

Anyway,we had a lesson with her sister and husband. We started and in walked an older lady. He got super excited and said this was an answer to prayer--she was an Hermana from another church they had investigated and had prayed that all of us would be there to talk and discuss our beliefs, etc. I couldn´t believe this was happening. Haha we were super nervous and couldn´t even believe he had set up a debate between us and this Evangelist lady. Anyway it turned out really really well--Hna Angulo is amazing at Bible knowledge so that helped immensely. But we taught our lesson and know they felt something and though the lady tried to refute some things, all she could say was the Bible is all and you can´t add to it and we just said we have the Bible and the Book of Mormon here and together, if you read, will get an answer and just invited them to do so and said we would come back next week. We´ll see haha.

Then we had a lesson with our heaven sent answer to prayer! Haha joking but really Isidro, Manuels brother is so awesome. We were skipping and running full of joy after that lesson--we really feel like teaching him is an answer to prayer.

Sunday: Rebeca, Pedro, and Rocio came to church!! It was SO cute because Pedro Alcivar answered the door, this cute 12 year old in pajamas. He said he wanted to come and quickly dressed up in a white shirt and super gelled his hair and was downstairs pretty quickly becuase he really wanted to come.

I had to speak again today--we rotate basically every Sunday because without fail one of the speakers doesn´t show up. Haha I´m getting used to it and felt way more comfortable and bold speaking today than before.

We finally had a lesson with Soheil--it was so wonderful. He opened up a ton and has had SUCH a hard life. He was in the Iranian military and tried to escape but put in prison for 8 months where he was immensely tortured. His wife took everything he owned and left him with divorce papers. He came to Ecuador and sent his bro 2000 dollars to take care of his immigration papers but his brother ended up robbing him so he continues to be here illegally. He has health problems, works all day and night and doesn´t have a lot of hope right now YET he chooses happiness. He smiles, laughs a ton, jokes, and has a ton of light in his eyes. He said he had been observing missionaries for months and knows its a blessing we are finally teaching him. We sang I know that My Redeemer Lives and he started crying a ton--it was heartbreaking to see part of what he feels and I wanted to take that away. He needs people in his life too yet it is so amazing to see his happiness and positive attitude!

We had a lesson with Isidro about the Plan of Salvation and he gets it--he gets the importance of everything--just needs to focus more on feeling it. He´s awesome--pray that he will feel he has received an answer. He is so smiley and full of light and wants to go to the celestial kingdom :) We also had fun practicing English with him after. I love that family!

Then we pulled Manuel away from Rebeca´s bday party and took him to the church to talk without distractions. It was so hard last night. There was something different in his eyes and we can see sadness and a weight. Yet he refuses to completely open up to us even though we have a good relationship with him. I was super affected last night by him because I want to help him SO much--I want him to see what we see in him and become that and I want his dreams to be fulfilled. I want to take away whatever sadness or weight he feels! He really is like a kid--super innocent at times with a heart of gold and intentions of peace and love and helping everyone--just got lost for a while. I think he put up a wall of protection from feeling more pain from people he loves. Also I don´t think he feels forgiven for the things he´s done in the past by himself, by his fam, by God, by others, etc.

Anyway I opened up to Hna Angulo how much I was affected by that because of how much I LOVE that family and love Manuel and want to take all that away and how I feel things so deeply at times and just want all these people to be able to start anew, etc. She said she was happy to hear that. She then said--you are ready. You are here in the mission with all of your heart, might, mind, and strength Hna Bryan and you are ready. we´ve had to experience almost everything these 6 weeks together and I´m so grateful. When she said that, it hit me how true that is. There´s a difference. My total complete self is here and my total heart feels these things for the investigators because I truly love them. And I can tell I´m here because I´m happy. I´m truly happy. And although I miss you all tons always, I know I´m here for a reason and happy especailly when I´m working.

I´m SO grateful for the Alcivar family--I truly feel like they are family and they love us and I love them so much! It was so fun to share in Rebecas bday and teach their kids and I just feel blessed to know them and be here! And Pedrito is so cute--trying to convince everyone else to go to church because of how he liked it.

Anyway I LOVE YOU ALL and pray for you daily!! Have an incredible week and thank you for all you do for me!

-Hermana Bryan

What a Week!

Well, the beginning of this week = days of miracles! Then the week turned into = OPPOSITION. Wow! This week has definitely been full of that and it is kind of amazing how the work turns upside down but that reminds us that really we are not in control and this work is not ours! There is a greater plan to everything.

First things first. Turns out I have a urinary infection. Yup. It´s been pretty dang uncomfortable and I´m taking antibiotics (Bactrim) but it's only for 5 days--today is day 3 and the symptoms continue. My body has been so much weaker because of it all and I am so so so much more tired and weak and especially dizzy everyday. It's hard because like Logan said last week--it's really hard when you can't work as well in the mission because you feel badly--this is why I´m here--to work! I haven´t stayed home yet--there was one point I thought I was going to pass out and have to come home during the day but we went to our next lesson and things improved. I am going to be smart but am also pushing myself and I got a blessing from David Salazar during lunch yesterday so that will help. Oh Joseph--the opposition comes in all forms! And when our bodies are weaker, animo is weaker, and feelings are closer to home and family and friends. So know that I´ve missed you all like crazy!! So much. And especially wished I had Dad here to explain to me this illness and what the effects are, etc etc. There aren´t many explanations in the mission for anything haha that's been a struggle for me and my questioning-curious mind :)

Tuesday we had an awesome meeting with our district and zone and were just pumped because we had been seeing small miracles everyday! The attendance at church last week, when we went to the Familia Lucas Hopper´s house for lunch, the environment was a difference between night and day! They thanked us for the time we took to remind them of things they had forgotten. They told us they were praying together, had forgiven each other, and agreed to start anew. Miracle! AND then the Sister hesitantly asked if perhaps they could accompany us sometime to a lesson. AND that she had a reference. It´s amazing what helping the members in their spirituality and remind them of things forgotten does for missionary work!

Opposition--they didn't come to church on Sunday and the elderly mom of the sister told us that things had kind of worsened again with a huge fight. We couldn´t see her reference either this week. We´ll keep praying and we see them tomorrow so we will see!

Also Tuesday, we went to teach Lucy and something had kind of changed. I think she is so fed up of her home environment. Well, halfway through the lesson, the dad came out of his room saying they had been telling lies about the family and from that point on, we were caught in the middle of a HUGE fight and story telling and contention for 2 hours. 2 hours! We tried cutting it off earlier, inputting testimonies, stopping them to make them realize that each of us has our own faults and we can´t only point fingers, etc. We need to be willing to change if we want results. None of anything we said helped. My mind was literally about to explode and at one point Hna Angulo stood up and rebuked the dad in the name of Jesus Christ. Guys--this experience was crazy. The dad is impossible and only cares about money--just super hard hearted and the whole thing was just horrible. I feel so so bad for those poor girls and Jennifer (the recent convert) left halfway through to her room.

We literally were drained in every single form after that experience and had to walk to the church, sit down, pray personally and then pray fervently as a companionship for strength and to clear our minds so we could work. That was a miracle--we were able to immediately go out and work. I can't even describe how horrible and tired we felt before and then we could just leave the church and begin again.  I feel this was one instance in a fulfillment of the blessing President Holland gave me that I would see the restoring of bodies through the Priesthood (or our callings).

We had a few great lessons with Rosa Luna and her son Walter and spouse Gloria. Walter = gold! He is awesome and has been the one to follow through and really want to know. His wife has had miraculous experiences in other churches apparently and struggles with faith--she likes to see and then believe. But Walter is awesome.

We got news one night at 10:30 that we had to be in Guayaquil the following night to spend the night and then on Thursday wake up early to do something for ID´s and then we had a capacitacion with Pres Amaya with all the trainers and all the new elders and sisters. It was crazy trying to get everything taken care of before we left! We barely slept because of being riled up and worries about leaving our sector, etc! Bad timing with baptisms and lessons, etc haha.

The trips to Guayaquil and back were long and painful--especially on the way home and I´m 99 percent sure it was on that trip that triggered my infection. However, the meeting with Pres Amaya and all of the new missionaries with their trainers was so awesome. It was a neat opportunity to be able to talk with our President and his wife more closely and it was cool because there, Hna Angulo and I realized how much more united we were than other companionships, we love to laugh, and although we have problems, are united and enjoy each others company. We also realized that we have things to work on but that we were doing a much better job than we might have given ourselves credit for.

While we were in Guayaquil, we called Lucy and she told us she didn´t go to her interview, she had work just this week all day every day and she couldn´t be baptized on Saturday or go to church. That was really hard to deal with, she is struggling we can tell and now needs to start over with church attendance, and we need to figure out what more to do. There are some things she needs to realize and we will just keep trying to find her and teach and love. We haven´t been able to find her in her house since we´ve been back from Guayaquil.

Friday, Laura got baptized. It was great--she still doesn´t seem super happy and misses her boyfriend a ton but we love her and now she needs friends in teh church. This is another one of our problems here--the converts and investigators rely wholly on us, the missionaries and our visits, etc. But we can´t visit everyone all the time and do everything when we have a whole sector to worry about. It is now them that need to bring that light into their lives and the ward that needs to fellowship and uphold. But the people here get offended when we stop visiting every week and the ward struggles to fellowship.

Opposition--she didn´t get confirmed yesterday because she and her son were super super sick. We brought David Salazar over to give her a blessing and are hoping for Sunday!

Umm remember how I talked about the worst lunch of my life 2 weeks ago?? Ya that was a complete joke compared to the lunch this Friday. I started laughing to myself with my head down at my luck. Hna Angulo was sick to her stomach that day so didn't eat lunch--I was completely solo in this whole process. I got served soup and it had a huge chunk of cow foot in it--the bone, the gelatin like substance around the bone, THEN the super thick layer of skin AND the hairs all over the skin. So I had hairs in my soup too and tried to figure out how to eat that foot. I swallowed down part of the interior--ugh haha seeing my struggle my comp told me to just leave it because even here no one eats stuff like this! It was so gross and then the course was a huge portion of rice of course with the worst hot dogs in some sauce I have ever tasted in my life. Haha it was TERRIBLE and I was laughing so much afterwards at the faces I could imagine of some of my friends or family facing that lunch. Wow it was bad haha

Opposition starts--my infection took way and then when we went out to proselyte, Nora told us she wasn´t going to change or be baptized but we could come back. Gisela told us the same thing the night before! She said there was no way she would be baptized--she is tired, it´s easier to go to the church close to her with her kids because they need to anyway for First Communion, etc and that she loves us to come but wont be baptized. Now that Gisela is better with her mom, etc. I think she lost some of the motivation or necessity to show faith and go to church, etc. We are meeting with her today and actually this week is focused on letting people know clearly our purpose, why we are here, what is at stake in their lives, and having them truly understand and feel the necessity to change and actually act. If nothing progresses, we are completely going to start anew and find others because all of our investigators struggle and aren´t acting or are like Gisela and Nora, etc. It's way frustrating to have no one really after so much seemingly success! Yet we have specific plans to clean out our area, begin anew, or help our investigators progress if they really are willing to.

So Manuel has been on vacation all week and this next week too dang kid! Haha but we have been able to teach his cousin Rebeca, and then afterwards, Rebeca´s mom came in and we started another lesson with her! Turns out she was baptized when she was younger but never really read the BOM and has a lot of questions, etc to resolve. THEN yesterday we went to try and find Manuel again and his older brother Isidro came down and laughingly joked with us about Manuel and told us their family´s plans of vacation, etc. We had always noticed light in his eyes and his maturity but this was the first time we actually really were able to speak with him and it was so so awesome. When he was 12, he lived with his uncle who is Mormon. He went to church every week, listened to the missionaries and was close to baptism when he moved back here to Manta to live at home. He lost contact with the church and kind of forgot--he has many questions and some doubts but also lots of light and desire and we´re going to start teaching him too! What started with Manuel, turned into Rebeca, her mom, Isidro, and Manuel. And the whole family is super supportive because of their uncle and grandma who are members. I seriously LOVE that family and know we are there for a reason! They make me smile and laugh so much and are crazy and so united as a family I love it :)  That was really the saving grace of all the opposition we have faced for sure.

I had a rough day in handling some things in my comp yesterday but my inward resolve helped, a note from a sister in the ward helped, the blessing from David Salazar helped, and the lesson with Isidro.

The mission truly is up and down like a roller coaster in every way--it's never really just in the middle but I know I´m going through all of these struggles for a reason. It's hard because I feel that my gift and love for teaching is lost in the Spanish language. I don´t have the same abilities to teach that I do in English and thats hard to deal with but I am learning and trying to grow!

I was listening to Kenneth Cope today and it was so great to relax my mind but this song hit me like never before Évery Season: I will offer thanks for what has been and what´s to come. And everything that´s new has bravely surfaced, teaching us to breathe. And what was frozen through is newly purposed, turning all things green. And so it is with You and how You make me new with every season´s change. And so it will be, as You are re-creating me: summer, autumn, winter...Spring.

--I really am grateful for all I have been blessed with and am grateful for the hope I have in the good things to come. I know that I am being taught how to breathe and different things will help me resurface and do so everyday. I know that Heavenly Father gives us every experience for a reason. He really is re-creating me--not my personality or person because I am definitely still me! But creating me through these experiences into the person I need to become and when things are in winter and look bleak, spring always blooms. That really hit me today.

Well I love you all so so much and miss you like crazy--let me know when letters and the recorder get there because its been like 3 weeks. Haha

-Hna Bryan

Mom and Dad: how I LOVED hearing about all of your experiences!!!  And Grandma´s experience! It was so cool to hear about Robert Hyer´s trainee, the specifics in your prayers Mom, the members of the brigada and light of Christ, the NOE plan--thank you, and the story of Elder Falabella--how incredible!  Crazy about our Stake Pres--they will be great--I had no idea it was changing!  Thank you also for including the counsel of Elder Falabella, Dad and the specifics.  I love details from you all!  I literally was DYING laughing about the details from Dad of Fi´mile, double A, but especially the porkacheese girl--I was laughing out loud for a long long time and could completely hear Dad commenting and everyone busting up laughing and Dad and Dallin just having a hayday.  Hahaha thank you I need details like that as well as the super uplifting spiritual.  Mom, everything you wrote me today was incredible and I needed it so much!  It is like you guys know exactly what we need to hear :)  I really feel so so blessed to have such supportive parents.  I love you!!

Dallin: I´m so proud of you and your hard work in Panama!  I want to hear from you, you stinker!  I love you and miss you like crazy--let´s go on a family mission--we would beast it up!  I miss you a lot--good luck in school!!  It started right?  Love you!

Logan: I love your emails and although this one was short, love how our experiences relate though they seem so different.  Being sick is horrible and working through the sickness is worse sometimes--stupid urinary infection but I´m so so sorry you were so sick!!  With a fever and in bed!  At least we're in it together, right? :)  I love you, pray for you every single day and you inspire me to keep going.

Odie & Papa: thank you SO much for your weekly emails--they brighten my day and I love the talks and counsels you have included in your emails.  They really have helped in the situations we have had in our area.  I have loved hearing about Panama and seeing a few pics my mom sent.  What a neat work, huh?  We are so blessed.  Thank you for your loving counsel today--it was 100 percent exactly what I had been feeling and needed.  I sent you a letter a few weeks ago but I love you all so so much and can´t wait to be reunited!