What a Week!

Phew! What a week. My mind kind of turns circles thinking about everything we experience in a week haha it´s like an eternity of things and feelings that we go through. Welcome to the mission :) It´s such a wonderful learning and growing experience. And SORRY in advance because I´m just writing a lot of what I have in my journal so it might be long.

I will get to see all sessions of Conference and am SO so excited! They are at the Stake Center and Hna Angulo says there is a room with it broadcast in English but we aren´t sure if we can be split up so I´m just hoping and praying I can see it in English. I went to the temple twice in Guayaquil and most missionaries don´t get to go to the temple except for special occasions or when arriving or leaving.

Tell the Bashaws congrats and wow I hope they´re handling everything well! Sheri will be awesome to work with you Mom! Congrats in advance to the Dean family--I´m SO excited for Pat and Tiffani and their kids. How I love them and how the Lord works miracles in our lives. What a wonderful day Saturday will be. Give them hugs from me. Also if you could tell Jill Gibson and their family Hi from me, I´ve been thinking about them this week and miss them and just wanted them to feel my love :) Also hi to Jill Orme and Brie Call (maiden names sorry girls haha) because I don´t have their addresses and they wrote me for my bday over a month ago.

Ok on to our week:

Monday we went to the Alcivar´s and hung out waiting for them to gather their stuff together and go to the beach. We got permission to walk without our shoes on in the beach and it was Hna Angulo´s first time can you believe it?! Haha we were excited. Manuel was acting pretty rudely although I´m sure he was joking but it was ongoing. We had fun talking and tossing the ball around with Pedrito and Rebeca as Manuel and Pepe played in the waves. We all had a little photo shoot but then things turned downhill pretty quickly. They thought it would be hilarious to cover us in sand and Manuel took Hna Angulo while Pepe and Pedrito started with me and it was non-stop throwing sand for forever. We couldn´t get away and they didn´t understand to stop so we had sand ALL over everywhere in our hair, clothes, bodies, backpacks, eyes, ears, wherever you could see there was sand. It was horrible and we couldn´t defend ourselves because we´re missionaries! And they didn´t get that we had a lesson to go to and because we couldn´t go looking like that and there was no way to get all the sand off because of how excessive it was, we had to go back home and shower and lost an hour of teaching time. So we felt pretty badly about it and I was really really bothered. Haha so that was Monday :)

Tuesday our ZLs announced that from now on, our DLs would be the ones to verify our progress in the training program and we were pretty disappointed because of our DL. We had to explain to him how to carry out this responsibility and what he had to do and then after the practice, he told us we had failed big time in something and we were all ears to improve! That´s my fav part about the verification--the progress I can make and the goals I can set to improve weekly! However, he picked up my training program pointed at the pic of the missionaries and reprimanded me for not looking at my comp the entire time she was talking and that if my new comp comes in and asks who trained me she would be in disbelief I wasn´t staring at my comp the whole time. We were dumbfounded. That was our piece of advice? I explained to him our belief that it is key to look in the investigator´s eyes too but that I would really work on it. I felt so disappointed like I lost my opportunity to continue learning and progressing so we talked to the ZLs about it and I´m grateful for Elder Van Wagoner´s understanding! We will see if they change it for tomorrow--I think they will. We are def learning patience and trust in the Lord through this situation though. The DL is from Guatamala, Dad and speaks Kekchi (no idea how to spell) and didn´t really learn to speak Spanish here much so that's another barrier and he´s trying poor guy.

We had a lesson with Manuel that was pretty bad--he was more closed than ever and every answer was I Don´t Know and afterwards, Hna Angulo started crying a lot and I sat down with her and talked her through it. We know that kid loves us and is progressing--he def tries us sometimes though :) We then also stopped by Gisela´s house and helped her sweep the floor and shared a tiny message with her kids. I wonder if anything will ever come of our service or love? But I know everything happens for a reason and we are led to people here for a reason!

Wednesday was Hna Angulo's 16 mos anniversary in the mish! The day started out incredibly! We had an absolutely amazing lesson with Soheil--he has so much light and is so real. He told us that for 3 hours straight before coming to our appt, he battled thoughts and feelings of not wanting to come but still came. He feels like he can´t keep living this life alone and thought of moving back to Iran even though that might mean jail. In my mind that's way worse but he thinks and feels a ton and it eats away at him. He recognizes his life could be much worse but also feels like what is the purpose of this suffering or being a good person? So we completely changed our plans and taught him the Plan of Salvation focusing on our purpose here on earth and it was so great. He could feel the Spirit even though he doesn´t understand Spanish completely all the time. Soheil recognizes he needs to dedicate more time to God and loves praying or talking to God. It was a cookie cutter lesson: he opened up, the Spirit was there, we could crack up laughing, yet testify, and it was just ideal. Soheil recognizes what most people don´t and that is: to sacrifice something for God is so worth it. He said, imagine the blessings we will miss if we don´t do what God requires! We won´t ever get anywhere if we don´t act or walk to where God is--we can´t sit and wait because we won´t ever receive anything if we do. We were just dumbfounded at this 24 year old who has lived more life than any of us ever hope to and his wisdom. I asked if he was willing to sacrifice to go to church at 8 am even though he works until 5 am even though it will be difficult. He said yes and said if you think about it, nothing is difficult if it´s for God. I started tearing up when he said that. How true that is and how much we can learn from this young man.

We then had a lesson with Lesly--what a noble grand spirit she is. We taught her 2 lessons this week. The last one we taught, we ended up finding out that her family wasn´t going to be living in our boundaries after all. This news really affected me. We had considered Lesly a walk-in miracle and answer to our prayers. Also, because at the beginning of our lesson, I had the strongest impression that this incredible, beautiful and strong girl would serve a mission one day. Then we found out she had those desires. It was really special for me to feel that and then we had to turn her over. Yet we know there is a reason she had to be taught by Hna Angulo and me and trust in the Lord. We haven´t seen the fruits of our labors here in Manta and I think this was another example of this and it affected me but she is so special and we feel blessed to have known her for a bit! We stopped by Rocio´s to see what happened and wow what a change. She got super defensive and kind of mad and gave our BOM back with the pamphlets and changed her opinion on every single thing she had ever said when we taught her. We bore strong and final testimonies through the bars of her store and wished her a nice life because she told us we were wasting time coming there. Crazy how Satan gets people through the tiniest means sometimes!

Thursday we started off the day visiting Rebeca, and Manuel was there too. She had been to the hospital because she is way underweight and malnourished and came home with the news that she was forbidden from playing sports--the thing she loves the most--because of her situation. She has to take meds and was pretty down because of the sports. She started tearing up when we talked to her about it. We cried a little bit with her and I think it touched her to know how much we actually care because we were just there to visit her and show her we care. Manuel was back to normal--thank the heavens! :) We sang Come Thou Fount especially for Rebeca and she was really touched and we bore testimony and left. It was a special and wonderful lesson. Also, they started telling us that we need to make a pact to return together to Manta in 2 years. I started crying thinking of the possibility of mine and Hna Angulo´s time together coming to an end if she gets transferred this next transfer in 3 weeks. I really love her and we are a great team. We work well together, understand each other, can give each other counsel, laugh and cry together. We had another lesson with Manuel in the evening and it didn´t go as well as planned but he is just like a kid--super curious about everything and we are thinking of ways to teach and get him to feel. He is the one we fight the hardest for and worry the most about darn Manuel :)

Friday we had some good lessons and we had a lesson with Maria Alcivar about the Atonement. It was really great. She has been super down and worried about the Rebeca thing and the lesson was wonderful. Daniela Zambrano accompanied us for 4 hours today--she´s a great girl :) We knocked doors and contacted because we don´t have a program and are left without references from the members or much support so what else do we do?! haha It´s kind of fun too and it was fun to teach Daniela. I made her contact at least one person before she could go home and she was so excited afterwards--she´s gunna make a great missionary in 6 years. We then had a lesson with Manuel and it was superb! Hna Angulo had created a word search and the lesson was super simple about the Spirit. He answered every single question, wanting to particpate and afterwards kind of looked at us and laughed and said, Ï´m Mormon!´haha we were so happy afterwards at that success.

Saturday--the day of all days. We had planned another activity with Manuel and Rebeca and Pepe but they were distracted and the environment was super heavy because of some disagreements they had with other people who were there, etc. Pepe was having problems with his girlfriend too and although he was perfect in his commitment to stop drinking this whole week--didn´t take a single sip--he said he would probably drink that night because of his problems. Manuel said he might too or at least one because it was their friend's bday. I got super frustrated because obviously he doesn´t understand the importance of this or have deep enough desires to change 100 percent, etc. No one committed to go to church and Rebeca said no to the RS Conference. I tried to bear testimony and let them know how I felt and that I wasn´t sure they understood the importance of this message and that 1 or 2 times isn´t enough, that God requires more of us--all of us. But they were distracted and I was just sad and frustrated. We ended up each sharing some questions or personal thoughts we all had and it was a good bonding time with Rebeca. Pepe let us know we had answered a lot of his un-voiced questions and we could end with a hymn and prayer and felt the Spirit but something happened inside of me during the lesson. After, I literally felt like something had died inside of me. The joy you feel when the people you love with ALL of your heart is indescribable yet the opposite, I was actually beyond tears and just felt so sad, frustrated, wondered what I could have done-what we can do, etc. I was way affected and thank HEAVENS for RS General Conference and the incredible talk by Elder Uchtdorf. That talk was heaven sent to me and Hna Angulo. It´s hard to not be too hard on yourself when you realize the importance of this work and your calling as a missionary but we really are working hard and with all we have and we have to be patient with ourselves and realize the small miracles that make it all worth it. It was wonderful. Maria came with us and it was so great to have her there--she loved it. I know that the prophet and his apostles are called of God. I have such a strong testimony of this work--it is true! If you are in doubts, pray, ASK--that is key, listen, read the scriptures, go to church, and as sure as I am living, you will get an answer! Heavenly Father is so aware of our lives and will give us what we need--though those needs may be different from our desires or what our mortal eyes can see or expect. We recognized that our greatest struggles and tears for the Alcivar family have also been our greatest joys and laughters. We are grateful for them. Please pray that they will go to conference, FEEL, and accept baptism. Thank you so much for your support :)

Sunday Marianela and Gabriel came to church--they are showing forth tons of faith and desire and need our love and time and support now. I am so grateful for them! They had both gotten home from work at 4 am yet still came. What faith! Soheil didn´t show up but we won´t give up! The bishop is now showing us concern, wants to help us, and accompany us to visit members, etc. Such huge progress in our relationship with him. We ended up going home because I was really sick. I have felt completely and constantly dizzy for 2 days straight and Hna Angulo could tell I was really bad. I don´t know what happened but I had zero energy, and was just not well but started crying because this was the first time we went home for my sake. She put her arm around me as we were walking home and reminded me of the words of Pres Uchtdorf. She said she would really miss me and I 100 percent agree. I am so grateful for her :)

So this week was mostly hard and we are in the battles of the mission but we aren´t giving up! There´s lots to learn and experience and we know how important this work is! The church is so true. Please don´t ever forget that the small things are the big things to our Heavenly Father: scriptures, prayer, church attendance, obedience, etc. But also that nothing is too small for Him to care about. He loves you! He knows your life and potential. Allow Him to help you grow and allow Him to share His love and light with you in your lives. Thank you for your constant support, love, prayers, and letters. I´m so beyond blessed and grateful for you! I can´t really express my thoughts or feelings well right now but I love you! I love the message I have the privilege of sharing. We can use all the prayers we can get since we don´t have much success right now in Manta and are searching for the Lord´s chosen and battling with those we are teaching. Yet we love the people here and are grateful for every lesson learned!

--Hermana Bryan

Dad: Are there any meds for dizziness?

Logan, Mom, Dad, Dallin:  I love you SO much!  I don´t have anymore time but I love you so much and am so grateful for your support and emails.  Logan keep up the amazing work and Dallin beast it up..the 9 and a half pack is on its way!  I have the best family in the world!!!

Pics: Pepe, me, Rebeca, Manuel, Pedrito

Dulce--their niece