Never Alone

Bueno Familia,

No tengo mucho tiempo

PERO

this week was one of the hardest weeks of my life!!!!  BUT the good news is that the Lord gave me so much more strength than I thought I had.  My patience was tried like never before, charity, animos, many things.  BUT the Lord blessed me with charity that I didn't even know I had for my companion!!   What a blessing it was to be able to help her, love her, accept her, and silently suffer a bit and trust in the Lord.

Can't lie that I have felt more alone this week than ever but knew that I wasn't ever alone because I have all of YOU praying for me and loving me and supporting me.  The ward is hard---it's pretty desanimado right now and so I literally felt that I had left the celestial kingdom and arrived in outer darkness, hahahaha, sad right??  Literally.  

But I am determined to animate the ward again and the leaders and the members and let them know that we are different and have different attitudes and love and energy for this work.  Also we basically don't have investigators so we need to find God's elect and need lots of help haha.

Thursday during comp inventory my comp told me that I helped her remember who she was.  Who would have known?  Love works.  Patience works.  Not focusing on people's weaknesses and faults works.  Trusting in God works. Prayer and pouring out our hearts works.

Friday we got news that we had President's interviews so we went and he gave us a mini capacitation meeting and it was AWESOME--about gaining the confidence of the members and working with them, and he said that the way to do it is using what you brought here from your house.  That was an answer to prayers--I was determined to gain myself back again and not let anyone affect me or my personality in doing the work!  He also talked about comp relationships and the importance of unity and love and forgiveness and maintaining an eternal perspective.  It's all about that lately---eternal perspective.

In my interview he asked how I was, how my companionship was going and I told him and he wanted my opinion on a few things.  He asked about my life as a missionary and how I feel, and I expressed how GRATEFUL I am as a missionary to be here and love this work, etc.  He knew I needed to study a few things that I was just thinking about--it was awesome! :) hahaha He also asked if I had any questions for him.  My mind raced with a million questions, but I smiled and paused and thought, and smiled at him and said, "President, I have a million questions inside of me.  But any that matter right now, no."  And that was the truth and he knew it, and I'm pretty sure knew they had to do with the future, etc.  He then told me he had a question for me but didn't want to make me not focused, and he asked me if I was sure I wanted to go home in December.  He asked me if I was sure of that and didn't want to wait until January.  I was shocked---not expecting that.  I then said, "Oh President, I don't know, what do you think?!"  He was like, "OH NO!  I don't get involved with that." hahaha But said he only was asking to make sure to buy tickets this week.  I thought and told him yes, I was sure, December.  He said it was prudent to do that and get back into school etc but man, I was wondering why he asked that but felt good about my decision as we have always felt good about it.  In my interview with him I felt his love, I felt his fatherly love and care and worry and I was my total self, laughing, thinking, loving and trusting, and he thanked me a ton.  He gave me counsel to focus 100 percent and enjoy what I do and it was what I needed for what I was going through!!  What a blessing to feel that love from him.

Saturday cool experience eating in a restaurant and a family super curious was asking us questions and it was just SO normal for me to be eating and sharing the Gospel. hahaha Cool.

Sunday I gave a talk and got emotional about how much I felt joy and feel joy in this work.  Church was EXACTLY what we needed and the spiritual re-boost and awareness that Heavenly Father loves me and knows me.  I felt during the sacrament and obtained a testimony that Christ KNEW exactly what I was going through and how I felt, and I KNEW that He did and loved me and felt sad for that and was going to help me.  I knew it and it was something I felt so strongly.  

D&C 6:33-34 were for me this week and how to avoid fears and trust in God and give my all!  Also an article from the local pages here in South America about why there's an opposition in all things.

Well--got news today that I am training and basically opening a new area because I don't know my way around and don't know many people still.  We have a brand new ward mission leader I have to train as well, and starting from zero with a newbie.  Crazy trials! haha BUT I know that with the Lord, He will help me do it and handle it.  Pray for me and for my comp and for the ward leaders and members.  We are going to work with them to animate them and help them feel the joy of this work and find God's elect!  Just to find a balance will be the key :)

Aaaaahh!!! :) hahaha God knew I needed to be super busy during these last few months I think, haha.  

Well I love you all.  I know this church is true.  God lives and loves us. Christ suffered for us.  Missionary work is the best!  Trials are for our own good and growth and we just have to have faith in God and in His promises.

LOVE YOU!!!!

Hermana Bryan