This Week!

Hola familia!! How I LOVE hearing from you all. Thank you so much for your emails--they were exactly what I needed this week. I miss you all so very much.

Monday after P-day, we had a miracle lesson with the Familia Gracia Vera. We are teaching Mercedez and her niece Ana, and Mercedez had read the intro and knew exactly the names of every prophet and person, had prayed, etc. Ana had read 2 Nephi 31 and loved the chapter and it instilled in her a recognition and desire for baptism. I started tearing up during the closing prayer when Mercedez prayed to know the things were true, etc. That is what we call a lesson like the movies because we always hope things like that happen. I know it was a tender mercy from the Lord.

Tuesday we had a wonderful lesson with Marianela and Gabriel and Lenin Lucas (the husband in the Lucas Hopper family) accompanied us with them. We talked about the plan of salvation--especially the celestial kingdom and eternal families (marriages). Lenin testified about marriage and making it work and about the Gospel in helping people change and work to have a celestial and eternal family, etc. It was incredible to hear him testify and to see the complete change in him and his family that was so close to being destroyed. That was a tender mercy to see as well--amazing!! The Gospel changes people, hearts, families, marriages, everyone. Manuel told me on the phone he didn´t have time to see us that day and was pretty short. We were walking back from our lesson with Gabriel and saw Soheil crossing the street, he started walking towards us and I said hello to him and that I was surprised he wasn´t in Quito. He started smiling and said that he realized it was a dumb idea to move away and that he decided he wanted to change his life around again. I started hesitantly laughing and said I didn´t believe him because of the complete change that was. He laughed and with his old-light in his eyes smiled and said seriously, I want to fix my life and I want to do it with the help of you two. I started laughing completely after that due to complete shock, joy, etc. That was absolutely one of the times in the mission I have felt the most joy ever!! Such a tender mercy from the Lord!! We haven´t been able to meet with him since but wow--it was so wonderful to see that Soheil was back, his countenance had returned with light, and he took the time to come to us and tell us. I still sometimes can´t believe it!!

Wednesday we had Zone Conference with President Amaya here in Manta. He asked me to bear my testimony along with a few others of the newer missionaries and I got really teary bearing my testimony of the love I have for the people of Ecuador, how I know we are exactly where we need to be and that every trial and struggle is exactly what we need. I am very humbled and grateful to be in this work and I recognize how much I have to work on and improve. President Amaya is nice and loving but super super direct and straight-forward. He is way direct and it´s good to realize things and accept his counsel. I have a different concept of him now as I can see that inside he is really loving but he does NOT beat around the bush for anything hahaha. It was a wonderful conference. Well I got a phone call at night from our District Leader telling me he had transfers and he was calling to say goodbye and thank us for things and tell us who we need to report to from now on. I couldn´t believe it! I felt kind of bad for my semi-bad feelings towards him but am much more at peace now about things he would have had control over (like interviews, etc). Poor guy haha. Hna Angulo was in bed and I ran to tell her. The next morning she had to ask me if it really happened cuz she thought she had been dreaming hahahaha she really had been struggling with him.

Thursday we had another lesson with Gabriel and Marianela and it is literally amazing to see the difference in the light in their eyes now compared to their countenances when we first met them. I love them! Gabriel had read the Liahona I left them and the specific articles I pointed out about marriage. He told me he recognized while reading that he had a ton of things to change and felt badly but determined to change--that was a miracle too because as a missionary we can´t really tell an investigator to quit being machista at times. The Spirit spoke to his heart and he allowed a change to start taking place. We found out he smokes 1 or 2 cigarettes at night and we took his cigarettes haha and he asked us to send him reminder texts. He needs to stay strong as he tries to stop--please pray for him especially since their baptism is for the 22 of October!!

We passed by Manuel´s house in the afternoon and he was there but refused to come out of his room. He finally sent his younger brother Pedro to tell us to come back at night. We did and he was with his friends and super rude and immature. He knew we were there for him but refused to give us the time of day to talk or say anything at all. Rebeca and Pepe were nice and hilarious as always but something happened in Manuel and we have no idea why he is acting that way but that would have been our lesson to bear final testimony and let him choose but he didn´t give us the option to do so. We left and decided that we won´t be trying anymore--we had been trying all week to call him and meet with him. His dad told us not to lose hope and that we had taught him the meaning of hope and patience (by seeing us wait for and teach Manuel this whole time). Well I was fine for a while but at night, the whole situation hit me. I started absolutely bawling while I was in my bed. Hermana Angulo sat with me in bed and comforted me while I just cried and cried. I love her, I really do and though we´ve literally been through EVERYTHING together, we work things out, and we are a great pair. It was so so hard for me to accept because I literally loved Manuel with all I had and it just hurts--the whole situation. I felt pretty tired of a lot of things but because of how much I loved Manuel and his family, Thurs night I felt like I had lost a piece of my heart or hope. But I realize that everyday brings small blessings and I can´t give up. That was how I felt Thurs night. Mom, the experience you shared with me was for this reason exactly. I had been in denial of the option of dropping Manuel and had refused to accept that. We knew it was the thing we had to do and for that, I bawled and bawled and I still feel sick to my stomach when I think about it but I know he will embrace the Gospel one day. He will--and he will remember our teachings and love. Thank you for sharing that advice and counsel and just really a confirmation of what we decided to do. I needed that confirmation in my heart.

Friday we felt so much the Lord´s blessings and fulfillment of promises. We found each person in their houses. A lady that was a reference from an investigator let us in and she is pretty dang rough and without interest. Turns out 2 of her sons are members and her daughter and grandson had received the missionary discussions before! It was an incredible discovery and she changed her attitude a bit. We had a wonderful lesson with a 14 year old girl who has a super sweet spirit and has needed to mature quickly for her age due to family situations. She is in Lesly´s ward and we know they will be perfect for each other :) We then had 2 lessons with drunk people because Ecuador beat Venezuela and every person and their dog was celebrating so that was interesting haha. We then went to find an old investigator we had seen in the area book and found them at home. The miracle was when the husband told us he was a member--an Ex branch president 10 years ago about to get married and sealed in the temple to his wife and family. His wife left him before their sealing and that turned his life upside down and he left everything. He got very emotional during our short lesson and I hope we can keep visiting them. I felt so badly for these years he has spent recovering himself without the Gospel.

Saturday we helped our DL with an activity with his ward (A Day in the Life of a Missionary) and got to do practices, contacts, knocking doors, and helping the members overcome their fears, give them criticism, etc. It was way fun. We also met with Marianela and she is soo so awesome! She has recognized the influence of the adversary trying to get her down about her marriage and baptism and his influence in many different manners yet each time has fervently prayed and is determined to stay strong. We went to visit a man named Absalon who actually contacted us on Monday during P-day. We were walking to lunch and he yelled out to us, I´M SUFFERING!! He told us that he suffers with emotional problems and anxiety and that the Evangelists tell him he might have demons in him and that scares him to death. We weren´t sure how much of a real investigator he would be but felt it our responsibilty to visit him at least so we did and brought a member to give him a blessing. We ended up giving him a blessing and staying for a while to talk. He was crying for a lot of it and I started crying a ton when he told us how he feels or what he struggles with. I´m almost positive he struggles with internal OCD. He went into some detail with the thoughts he fights and the feelings he has and it kills me to see a wonderful old man have to feel like that. I hate that I can´t do anything to take the suffering away from him and let him completely feel the love and acceptance of Christ. He has a heart of gold you can tell. It seems like the best people have to suffer more than the rest of us sometimes, huh? At the end of our talk and the testimonies we gave, we prayed and then stood up to leave. He said ¨Now you have an idea of how I am and what I feel and you probably think this or that...etc¨ I told him that we most definitely didn´t think anything bad. He has a sickness, has a lot of pain, is suffering, but has a wonderful heart and that it was very evident for us to see his goodness. He began to cry again at that and then we left. I feel so badly that there isn´t more to help him with and we wonder now what exactly Heavenly Father wants us to help him with--just to be baptized and feel the Atonement so he can immediately enter in after this life or if there is more we can or should do, etc. Also, Hermana Angulo hasn´t had a voice really since Thursday so that´s been interesting teaching and contacting hahaha poor thing.

Sunday we had a pretty bad morning and my brain was not working and we were late to church, our investigator that we passed by for wasn´t home, etc. Well we got to church and guess who had shown up? Out of all of our investigators (the few we have), Absalon and his wife came to church. Turns out many people know him. I know that´s a blessing from the Lord and we are going to start teaching them tomorrow (Tuesday). We had ward counsel tonight and man I can´t even express to you how frustrating it is to be there and receive all kinds of false criticism or feelings and thoughts, etc. Our ward mission leader doesn´t do much at all--its SO frustrating to work with him and then have the rest of the ward to try and work with as well. I don´t and shouldn't go into all the problems or details haha but Logan do you have any suggestions on how you work with your ward mission leader or ward or ward counsel? We need help!! The good news is that the bishop could tell we felt badly or frustrated and interrupted ward counsel to ask me how we felt and then asked me to speak. I spoke and kept in my anger or frustrations but was honest and gave suggestions and told them we can´t be pointing fingers at other organizations and refusing to accept our own weakenesses. As a ward and ward counsel, we are a team and need to work as such! He referred to my little speech later on in the counsel and was grateful for my commentary--we are grateful the bishop has concern for us now and wants to work with us and appreciates our input. That was way nice.

Welp I forgot to mention how awesome it was to hear about the Provo Tab being rebuilt in a temple!! So cool! Also Cecil was released?!

I started reading the Book of Mormon last week from the beginning and will finish in less than a month and I can´t tell you how awesome that has been. I have an absolute newfound LOVE for the scriptures. I encourage you all to read the Book of Mormon like a book that you can´t put down--it has been an amazing experience and the messages are much clearer. We can learn so much and feel so much of our Heavenly Father´s love and wisdom. The Gospel is so true, changes lives, please share this joyous news with the people you know! Never take your blessings for granted :)

I love you all SO so much and am so grateful for your example and support.

Love you!!

Hermana Bryan

Logan:  It hurt my heart to hear how hard last week was for you.  It was so hard for me too.  I know Satan tries to get us down but we can´t let him.  read Alma 34:41, 1 Cor 2:9 and know how much I love and pray for you.  Read the difference in the story of Aaron and Ammon--it's incredible!  I can't tell you how amazing you are and how much I look up to you.  Your example and experiences get me through sometimes.  The mission is super super super hard but it´s the greatest work in the world too.  I would love any and all of your counsel and will send you more scriptures and quotes next week.  I´m praying for you--you are the BEST, most worthy missionary I know.

Dallin; keep your emails coming bud.  I love you and sent you a hand written letter last week!  I hope you are feeling better and I´ve been praying so much you could feel of my love and especially Heavenly Father´s love for you this week to get you through.  Yuck about your wisdoms but hey you get to eat ice cream :)  love you!

Mom and Dad:  how I love you!!  Thank you so much for your words of counsel and advice.  Dad, I think every person has their downfalls and it was a time she spoke without thinking but we´ve put everything past us and it´s almost as if it never happened yet with the lessons learned.  I´m grateful for forgiveness and especially for our family, our love, support, the Gospel, and the Atonement that can get us through anything!!  LOVE YOU