"Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God."
--Ether 12:4




Monday, November 26, 2012

When I can´t Speak

Hola Familia y Amigos!!  

Well I just finished a mini bawl fest alone, reading your experiences in Guatemala and the revelation you always receive for me.  Thank you.  So so so much.  I feel so edified reading of those experiences and seeing your pictures.  Mom you look so Latin in your typical dress!!!  CUURRR :)  And Dallin is a giant now--not ok with me.

Well I don't know why I am so blessed.  But that's how I feel today.  So beyond blessed and so tiny and unworthy of those blessings for being so weak and complaining in trials and sicknesses--I'm a wimp right?!  But the Lord is SO merciful.  I don't even have words to describe what I feel.

So to begin :)

Tuesday morning I woke up and was like dreaming about 3 Nephi 11 and felt like I should re-read it because we would teach it that day.  In that chapter we find also the Doctrine of Christ and I noticed something interesting--that when Christ comes and lets the people touch him and come to him one by one, after that happens, he calls a prophet and apostles and in the scriptures it says that He conferred upon them the sacerdocio (te doy poder...). Then immediately He began to teach about baptism.  I thought to myself wow--the first two things Christ addressed in the Americas were: 1) the Priesthood and 2) Baptism.  Shows us what is important to the Savior, right?  Justamente that evening we were with William and he said he had been reading 3 Nephi 11!!!  WOW.  So we read with him and though he felt the Spirit, continued to deny baptism.  That was the final lesson for now.  But I felt great Tuesday giving it my ALL.  :)

Wednesday we had a tender mercy with 2 girls that we had taught a couple times, Kristel and Valeria, and their mom Veronica never had really wanted to let them go to church, etc just learn.  Well they are always SO excited about singing, reading, the church programs, etc.  We got there because they had come to church last Sunday miraculously!!!  The mom then told us that her girls will be able to keep going to church, that she was committed to supporting them in this, etc etc.  MIRACLE!!
That night we had a FHE with a family and the theme was Jesus Christ.  We all got to bear testimony and learn about the life of our Savior, and I just LOVE talking about Christ.  I love Him so much and the Spirit is always so sweet when we talk about our Redeemer.

Thursday I got really teary reading and re-reading the emails of my family and their experiences in the brigadas and just felt the special spirit of missionary work and service, and how much I LOVE this work and always have.  I envy---SO envy those who are just beginning their missions.  :)
We had a special experience with Isaac that day calling us because he needed some help clearing up some of his doubts.  We got there and it was so neat to hear his feelings and wanting to repent and be better, and though he has improved so much, he has the deep desire to not even think bad things or listen to them and wants to repent, and said that he wants to be 100% clean blessing the Sacrament because if not how can he have everyone else eating his sins?  haha He is so good and it touched my heart so much.  The best part is we had planned a lesson for him with the EXACT things he needed help with.  How I love the Lord and personal revelation.
Thanksgiving dinner = schwarma with Fam Cedeno--Ariana and Kleber :)

Friday I woke up and was feeling pretty dizzy and not all the way better from my infection and a bit down again because I was studying and then felt so sick I had to lie down.  I was resting when the phone rang and the Assistants were calling us to do the 12 week program verification for Hna Diez---I was like are you kidding me right now? Man!  But anyway, we talked to them and wow it was SO amazing.  It's always EXACTLY what I need.  He said that President and they trust us and we are doing a good job, and he said that if we are being obedient and diligent, the rest is up to the Lord and our time often isn't His time.  He asked about William and said that we left a seed planted super deep in his heart and he will never ever forget us.  He then talked about the Doctrine of Christ and the 3 aspects of it (learning, applying, teaching it) and then read Alma 26:22 about applying the Doctrine of Christ and the blessing for that.  Wow they said the President said the mysteries of God are how to help investigators, etc.  Things we need!  We have to have faith and WORK and pray like crazy.  Then he said that after trials come the blessings and the fruits of our labors.  Then he said that maybe the fruits of our labors wouldn't be tons of baptisms but attributes we will be taking home with us.  (I was shocked to hear that from an assistant! wow) He then told Hna Diez she has to learn everything she could from me and take and absorb every good thing I have because they consider me excellent and she has to be ready to train.  He then said,  "Hna Bryan, you should have the vision that you are training a trainer!!"  I then told him that actually that had been my vision and goal, and lately I've been saying that I'm the new companion and want her to take initiative and control for when she has to train.  And he said, "Man, the hermanas are always a step ahead of us."  hahaha  Then he said, "Well there is a scripture President has specifically asked us to share with you two."  He read Eccl 4: 9-10.  Wow how does President always know?!!!  He truly receives revelation for us and loves us.  He said if one is sick, the other should help out and lift her up and vice versa.  He then said we have trials and challenges because we are being prepared for something a lot bigger.
It was so uplifting and edifying and exactly what we both needed to grow closer in our trials and realize it was ok--this was preparing us and we have to be ok and work and be happy!!!
We had a BEAST day and put 3 baptismal dates!  Ariana will be baptized on Saturday!!!!!!  We love her so much.  Pray for her that she will stay firm in her decision.
Valeria and Kristel will be baptized the 8th---pray for them that Veronica will see their desires and still let them be baptized.

Saturday we had a good day and then went to support the ZLs in their baptism because the kids of the hermana that was getting baptized were going to sing.  While practicing and just playing the piano waiting for them, Hna Diez started crying and she said she is going to miss me so much and we cried together and I had a conversation that was SO similar to one I had with my trainer, Hna Angulo.  It was very special.
Crazy stuff happened and the baptism got canceled and then re-put together and started at 9:20 pm!!!  Crazy stuff haha but the Spirit was SO strong when the kids sang "I am a Child of God," and the hermana was bawling and the elders also.  We love our crazy leaders haha.

Sunday morning we were running late to church and standing on the street waiting for a bus or taxi and NOTHING was passing.  I began to pray in my mind for someone or some car to pass by so we could get there on time and didn't even get done saying Amen in my mind when Ariana and Kleber in their car came passing by to go to church and we hopped in with their kids.  The Lord is so aware of us and our tiny needs, and He always shows His love for us!  I felt so in family going to church with them and their funny kids, etc.
Sunday in church I began counting investigators and writing their names, and Valeria and Kristel were there, Ariana, and then looked around and realized that the daughter of 2 investigators had come with her friends, and then looked and low and behold Maria Jose (one fo the girls we taught like 3 weeks ago and then later didn't want us to visit her anymore) was sitting in the back with some friends.  I began cracking up silently in sacrament meeting as I shared all the blessings I saw all around me with my companion, and she looked at me in awe, and us in awe of how much the Lord was blessing us after opposition.  Wow!!!

All in all, I love the Lord, I love being a missionary.  I do question how much more I could have done or given to show all the love and gratitude I have for my Savior and Redeemer and His Atonement.  I depend on His grace daily, and joy in the light of the Gospel and love of missionary work.  How blessed I feel to be a very small instrument in His hands.  I love the scriptures and testify of their truthfulness!!!  I was so impressed this week with Alma 46:15, 20-21 of Moroni's invitation to the people to make covenants with the Lord to show their faith, and how people came RUNNING to make covenants.  They really understood the importance of making and keeping covenants and the blessings they would receive.  Do we understand?  Would we come running to make covenants with our Lord and God?  Let us keep the covenants we have made and treasure them.  Show the Lord you love Him :)  I love this work!!!!!!  And I love you :)

Love,
Hermana Bryan


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