Hola Familia y Amigos!!!
Welp I'm gunna rush this but try and give as many details as possible, especially cuz I've been such a slacker with my journal lately that I know this will have to substitute for my journal :)
Ok, well Tuesday was a pretty hard, sensitive, emotional day for me and I didn't realize or understand why at first. I felt like I wasn't good enough with the leaders and goals and numbers, and like I just want to be awesome and have my comp be awesome, etc. During our Zone meeting I was upset and down, and then Elder Zepeda (our ZL) started saying that many of us don't have much time left in the mish and we have to give our all, etc etc and I literally started bawling without control and couldn't do anything to stop it, so I was silently looking down with tears streaming down my face (good thing I bought waterproof mascara lately! haha) and kleenex soaked, and I'm sure everyone in the Zone thinking I was a basket-case.
yep.
haha Then while walking in the street, and lessons failing and contacts rejecting us (which doesn't happen very often so made me think something was wrong with me, etc) I just looked around and my comp asked if I was ok and I started BAWLING in the street, and we sat on a bench and then it hit me what was wrong with me. I had woken up that day with this huge profound sadness and I didn't even know why. DUH, Hermana Bryan! hahaha The news of my release date, etc really had impacted me because before, it was a looming reality and didn't hit me. Welp Tuesday it for sure hit. I bawled and expressed my feelings, my sadness, my love for the mish and these people, my desires to do my best and give my all, my fears, etc. etc. It was good to get everything out and realize a lot a lot of things. And then I was good to go hahaha oh geez. "Maria, it's been EMOTIONAL!" :)
Well after that bawl-fest, we went to Silvia!! She told us she wants to be a missionary! I mentioned something about joy and she asked, "Joy, is joy related to being blessed?" great question. I asked her boyfriend what joy meant to him and he held up his recently received mission call. Perfect definition :)
Wednesday we were trying to re-set our baptism goal for November cuz we really don't have many people set, and so we prayed about 3 and the Lord just gave us another answer to our prayers that it is 4. So I just have to have faith and trust in the Lord! Wednesday we got excited and full of animos and put together the backpack signs you can see in the picture to try a new way of contacting and getting people´s attention! No one asked us, but a lot of people looked and looked and stared at us and so we are excited that we could plant some seeds these last few days with those! :)
We had a great lesson with William and got to know him better and more deeply. We had an awesome contacting experience and I literally felt like Ammon (and coincidently I had just read that chapter that morning!) We discerned through the Spirit a lady´s feelings and thoughts, and told her what we felt and she was surprised and asked how we knew, and I testitfied that we were called of a prophet of God and part of God's Spirit was in us to help us in this time, and we testified. It was way cool.
Thursday was a great great great day. I had felt like my best self after my bawl fest, like my best teaching was happening, like I was way more in tune with the Spirit and people's needs and doing what comes to mind. It's so neat and I was so grateful to really FEEL like Christ's representative.
Wow we had an incredible experience with Silvia. She came for her baptismal interview and before the interview we had a lesson with her. She expressed the desire to postpone her baptism until the next week because there would be the opportunity that some family members would be able to attend, whereas this week no. But nothing was sure if they would support her or not. Well I was torn because I knew the blessings she would receive for completing that ordinance, but also how much I would want my family to be present at my baptism! After teaching her and testifying, I felt the need to pull out the Liahona I had brought about the temples and show her pics of inside the temple and she said she felt so so happy and felt so peaceful. But still was set on the next week.
I then felt like we should pray about it. I felt prompted to testify about personal revelation and how my comp and I receive revelation together and we talk, make a decision, and then pray for a confirmation. We all knelt down and Silvia prayed silently and said she wanted the 10th but wasn't sure. I asked her to pray outloud and she prayed about the 10th and afterwards said, "That's strange, I didn't feel anything, and feel the same." I then asked if it would be ok if I said the prayer and we prayed about the 3rd. Well afterwards, I asked her how she felt and she looked at me widely and said, "I felt like something fell down over my body and continued down in my chest that was warm and tingly----is that an asnwer??!" YES!!!!! She was so happy and then said, "Well I am determined now---I know for sure what I need to do and I am for sure."
She is so so so awesome.
Friday I realized how much I love William and how much I want him to progress and how good he is!!! Also it was so awesome practicing another musical number with our ZLs----I know that My Redeemer Lives--the EFY version. We are all like bffs and it's so awesome to have that support here.
Saturday was a hard morning--we had a long, long, long and teary convo with my comp talking about some things and then having a mini comp inventory and then realizing that the situation that really was bothering us both inside was me leaving. And I got to know my comp more, and how much she is scared for when I leave. I had the same feelings and sadness and tears that I had Tuesday (just when I thought I had gotten it all out! haha). Man it literally breaks my heart leaving the mission. But ya I still have 6 weeks so I'm stoked for that!
Silvia's baptism!!! Silvia and Kevin, her boyfriend, were dressed in white and it totally reminded us and we totally imagined them in the temple one day!!! What a blessing the Gospel is!!!! Her testimony was AWESOME!!!!! And the musical number was incredible. Silvia is really a chosen and elect of the Lord, and such a blessing to us.
Sunday Isaac blessed the sacrament and bore testimony! William came to church and that was an answer to prayers and fasts because he didn't know if he would, but we got there and he was showering and getting ready already! Silvia was just shining and SO SO happy!!!!
There is lots and lots of opposition going on here, and we don't have people and our baptismal dates fell through, but we are praying for William, Ariana (who is the wife of an active member--Kevin's dad), and Aracely (a new awesome person) so please pray that they will accept and progress and be able to be baptized. I know the Lord will provide and after opposition come the blessings!!
I love the Lord. I love this Gospel and this work. I am grateful for my trials because they help me become stronger! I am grateful for you and your prayers and love. THANK YOU. I love how when we are down, the Lord sends his spirit and comfort and there is ALWAYS someone else who needs comfort and help and that experience yesterday in church helping someone who feels so alone and is going through some really hard stuff helped me so much and taught me so many things. Why do I ever complain?! The Lord is so merciful and loving.
Share the Gospel please! The missionaries are under-used teachers. I read an article that members have the power to find and missionaries the power to teach.
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| Silvia's Baptism!!! |
The church is true :)
Love you,
Hermana Bryan
Hermana Bryan
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