How much I love you all especially in this season of love, warmth--infierno warmth here in Guayaquil haha, Christ, family, etc. I love Christmas and I love YOU! Alrighty this email might be a little bit crazy but disclaimer: this week has hands down been the craziest week I´ve had in my entire life. I still have many more crazy experiences awaiting me this week until some things are figured out but here goes!
First of all I forgot to mention last week that last Sunday was the Primary Program and I got to accompany them on the piano--the ward members here really take advantage of that fact so I have been able to attend practices for that, YW program, etc to accompany people. I love playing the piano!
Listo. Here goes.
Monday I got taken out by a wooden ladder during zone choir rehearsal and totally skinned my arm and elbow. It was crazy but the best thing is that Elder Bushnell just kept asking how much I was ok and how tough I was, etc hahaha thank heavens for the nice elders here.
Wednesday we had multi zone conference for Christmas in the hotel at the temple and got to go to the temple!!! I LOVE the temple!!!!!!! It was incredible the difference in understanding compared to 5 months ago my Spanish haha. I love the temple so much and I loved loved loved attending the temple with other missionaries and our beloved President Amaya and Hermana Amaya. Afterwards, we had a Christmas zone conference which was more like a devotional. It was wonderful--Pres Amaya addressed us briefly, we got to watch President Monson's part of the Christmas devotional, and then each zone had a spiritual thought and song to present. Ours was hilarious--the elders hid behind the hermanas doing actions to Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, we had a Santa, an Elf and Rudolph and each of us wore Christmas hats. Zone Kennedy is awesome :) Hna Goering took lots of photos and will send them to you, family as I just as of today bought my new camara--thank you!! Hermana Amaya addressed us and one thing I absolutely loved that she said was that the people we´ve affected have been eternally affected and vice versa. I love the mission and this is so true!! I want to be like Hermana Amaya when I´m older. We had a delish lunch and then had a photo shoot and I am so grateful for and love the relationship I have with the office elders --it makes all the difference in the world! I feel like they actually enjoy talking to me or teasing and having fun and I think it´s thanks to me being sick for so long that we all developed that haha--also makes the difference here.
Afterwards we went to the office so Hna Palma could talk to President Amaya again and find out what her leaders back home said and when she should return. Well she came out of the office bawling and then Pres Amaya called me into his office to talk. He started off by telling me that all of this has nothing to do with me and that I´m doing a great job. He then started repeating the situation of Hna Palma to me but then said that he called her leaders and they told Pres Amaya that she was lying, she isn´t sick, her family actually does NOT want her to come home, that she had plans to leave with her boyfriend to Spain, etc. WHAT?!! All of this was 100% exactly opposite of what she had told us. She also told different things to Pres Amaya than she told us and I was completely taken aback and shocked. Pres told me that he in no way is going to send her home to be released medically and honorably if she really had been lying all along. But that one way or another she will be sent home. What craziness. I wrote in my journal that I don´t know exactly what to believe but that I was almost relieved for a bit because I always thought something was a bit off because she didn´t have her thoughts or heart or mind in the mission one little bit the whole time and didn´t have the attitude or spirit of the work. She also didn´t really want to go to the temple and then something told me things are wrong.
Afterwards we went to the office so Hna Palma could talk to President Amaya again and find out what her leaders back home said and when she should return. Well she came out of the office bawling and then Pres Amaya called me into his office to talk. He started off by telling me that all of this has nothing to do with me and that I´m doing a great job. He then started repeating the situation of Hna Palma to me but then said that he called her leaders and they told Pres Amaya that she was lying, she isn´t sick, her family actually does NOT want her to come home, that she had plans to leave with her boyfriend to Spain, etc. WHAT?!! All of this was 100% exactly opposite of what she had told us. She also told different things to Pres Amaya than she told us and I was completely taken aback and shocked. Pres told me that he in no way is going to send her home to be released medically and honorably if she really had been lying all along. But that one way or another she will be sent home. What craziness. I wrote in my journal that I don´t know exactly what to believe but that I was almost relieved for a bit because I always thought something was a bit off because she didn´t have her thoughts or heart or mind in the mission one little bit the whole time and didn´t have the attitude or spirit of the work. She also didn´t really want to go to the temple and then something told me things are wrong.
So Pres just smiled a lot at me knowingly, as I was smiling and laughing a bit at unbelief. He told me he felt so sorry I had to go through this and I just laughed and said that this is the mission and he laughed and agreed with me. He called the parents of Hna Palma and then called me back in smiling super knowingly and I feel really close to him and love that he trusts me and knows who I am and what kind of missionary I am. He gave me specific instructions to NOT treat her like a poor thing and not be the shoulder to cry on but that we are to work and have patience to see this out. He thanked me a lot and told me to be in touch with him for anything at all. CRAZY!!!!¨
Thursday was another crazy day. During comp inventory for 2 hours Hna Palma talked about everything and we had to give her counsel and I was super firm in some things and had to tell her to beware of her attitude towards her church leaders, to accept responsibility for her actions and feelings, to never think that getting married and starting her own family will solve everything, to not miss church, to do the things the Lord requires and to only and wholly rely on Him. We told her she lacked faith and relying on the healing power of the Atonement would cure all. That sounds pretty harsh--it wasn't, but things seemed to go in and out one ear. It´s incredible how much loyalty I felt to Pres Amaya and how we would defend him to the end. We then had the rest of the day and night visiting bone doctors, etc with Elder Hammer and another office elder. Elder Hammer kept kind of smiling and looking knowingly at me of the situation. I definitely have learned patience here in the mission. Hermana Goering had a wonderful dinner with the Pres and when she got dropped off, the Pres gave me and her specific instructions to stay up late talking to each other :) Hermana Goering gave me an incredible compliment and I loved working with her, her support, and the Pres´s support of us two.
Friday at lunch we had an incredible discussion with Hermano Frias. He totally could see in Hermana Palma what was going on and shared a personal experience from his mission in changing a comp who didn´t want to do anything and spent his time in the mission lying, with a bad attitude. I couldn´t believe exactly how it related and I know that he shared it because he had the discernment to see what was happening. She went to the bathroom and he came over and told me to hang in there and if I ever wanted to fast that he would join me. I felt super grateful for that whole discussion and his support. The family Frias and family Cruz are really the families we feel like are our family. I love them and feel so close to them! Friday was rough with Hna Palma not wanting anything, threatening to lock herself in the bathroom to not leave to preach, etc but then during our comp study and the program study I taught her, us feeling the Spirit so strongly and we cried and she expressed to me what she felt, I was able to tell her that was the incredible spirit of missionary work! It´s funny because the things I admired in my wonderful trainer Hna Angulo people now are starting to compliment me on, like asking inspired questions, speaking with my eyes, etc it´s crazy but I know the Lord is helping me. I am like 100% alone here in the sector but thank heavens for the members and Pres Amaya. The Lord is my strength, and also the love I have for this work and the people, strengthens me so so much. (Isaiah 41:10)
Saturday was my best friend´s wedding!!! Thought about them all day and shared with everyone haha. I opened up with Hna Palma sharing my feelings and experiences and I feel like that helped our relationship. Highlight of Sat was CRISTIAN!! I feel like I haven´t felt such joy in such a long time! He opened up completely and talked to us for a while--a crazy friend he has stole my hymnbook haha weird things happen to me in the mish. But it´s ok cuz I have the big one. It was his 27th bday that day and we watched The Restoration with him and the nature really affected him and he felt such calm and peace and told us that when the movie talked about faith that hit him too, like he needs to exercise his faith to believe. He said he believed and wants to keep coming to church but wants to prepare more for baptism. Then he kind of sheepishly said that he also feels guilt--feels guilty like he needs to repent. I started smiling SO bigly and he started smiling too because of my reaction and I told him how happy that made me because thats EXACTLY how the conversion process works and that he really is special to feel all of this so quickly and believe. He understands and feels and acts--investigator of gold. I felt SO happy I could fly haha.
But then we got home and Hna Palma forgot all that and started saying she´s going to pack her things and not preach anymore, etc. She let negativity come in and ruin her spiritual experiences. gah. But I LOVE the missionary work and love Cristian and love my married bffs and my fam that´s in Mexico!
Sunday was super hard for me in the morning because Hna Palma packed up her things, her attitude was incredible and I had been so patient but couldn´t take it--it infuriated me because I literally would give ALL I have for the few wonderful investigators we have. Anyway Eliana came to church and was fasting because we challenged her to do so to finally get an answer and are praying she did!! Cristian didn´t show and I started crying in the bathroom after that (first time I´ve cried about this situation and I felt pretty strong the whole time--so I figured once after all this craziness was ok). The last speaker at church was from the Stake Pres and it was incredible--such an answer to prayers. Then after church, Pres and Hna Amaya were actually in attendance at their ward for the first time since I have been here so that was a blessing. Hna Palma asked to talk to them and Pres Amaya was super super direct and firm with her and she didn´t hear any of it and it was incredible to see and watch. I love him so much and he kept smiling at me. She then went to the members to try to get their pity and support and I was so so mad and didn´t know what else to do--we were at the end of our straws and I felt I should go to Hno Frias. I asked him for a blessing and it was incredible. The Priesthood is real! During Hna Palma´s blessing, he told her that she needed to ask for forgiveness and that she wouldn´t finish her mission. Wow. We were all taken aback and he sat down with us to discuss the impressions he felt and that there was something she had been holding back from everyone causing this negativity and the Spirit to grieve her. Yep. She admitted that yes. Hno Frias made her realize who I am and what I´ve done from his eyes, made her realize her error and attitude, and expressed the love of the Savior but that the church is true and she can´t live in sin especially in the mission and gave her 2 days and said if you don´t call Pres Amaya I will. haha wow I love him. She finally opened up and Hno Frias was a servant of the Lord at the time, and she really for the first time in her life told me how true she realized the church was and the priesthood because of him. We went home and she confessed her whole story to me and from then on, her attitude completely changed. She thanked me a ton, felt so much better though nervous to talk to Pres Amaya, but actually wanted and encouraged us to go visit Cristian. What?=! Amazing.
We visited Cristian and it was incredible. He whole heartedly accepted everything about the word of wisdom and I feel SO happy and joyous every time I am around him and feeling of his goodness and light--these are the wonderful people we get the privilige of being around!! And watching them change! Wow.
I called Pres Amaya to set up an appt for Hna Palma and after I got done talking he said, HERMANA...careful! DON´T believe her. Be cautious of believing everything no matter how believable it is. Interesting and we will see. I´ve caught her in a few white lies today so we will see what´s going on for real when she meets with him tomorrow morning. I do believe the big part of her story and love that her attitude has changed and she wants to work and wants to laugh, etc. It makes it so much easier.
I have NO idea what will happen and honestly am just praying we can stay here for the week so I can be with our other familes here singing Christmas carols and having 2 Christmas dinners (one with Fmly Cruz on Sat and other with Fmly Frias on Sun). But I´m going to make the most of every single moment and take lots of pics in case! I LOVE being a missionary and testify with all of my being that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is true. Christ directs His church. Christ lives--He loves us and He suffered for YOU--for your sicknesses, pains, trials, and sins. I love you so much. Jesus Christ is my Redeemer, my light, and my absolute strength. I feel so blessed to be His representative and so humbled. In this Christmas week, I hope you can feel of my love for you and my support. More importantly, I hope you remember and feel of the Spirit and love of our Savior whose birth we celebrate on Sunday. Come unto Him and live!
I LOVE you with more than I can adequately express. I´m grateful for your prayers, support, and everything. Merry, Merry, Merry Christmas!!!
Love,
Hermana Bryan!
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