Welp just when we thought 3 changes was too many for one transfer, another transfer came last night and I am now in a new area with a new companion, Hermana Alvarez (from Bolivia--she has 4 months here in the mish) and we are opening the area of Condor. Good news! I'm still in the same Zone, Orquideas, AND best news of all, have the same district leader and in the same district as Hna Orantes!!!! Thank heavens for those blessings. Crazy, right? I'm kind of glad that in 6 months I will not have to have so many crazy, emotional, and physical changes all the time haha.
Ok well this week has been one FULL of trials and also the Lord's tender mercies so let's get the stories going :)
Monday night I barely slept cuz my cough was so bad, and when I don't sleep I get pretty dang sick physically, but had to wake up anyway and go strong for District Meeting because Hna Orantes and I were giving the lesson! Tuesday we gave the lesson on Teaching People, Not Lessons, and gave them requirements we had come up with to summarize the theme. We expounded on those, did activities, and shared testimony. The requirements we talked about were: Trust, Listening, Discerning, The Spirit, Love, and one other I can't remember. Anyway, it went really well and our district is AWESOME!!! Our district leader, Elder Ayala is just incredible, and Elder Falk was there and two other awesome elders, and the hermanas from Condor (who are now us but used to be Hna Hernandez and Hna Climaco--a really special person Hna Orantes now has to deal with.) So there are 4 new missionaries in our zone (being trained) and Elder Ayala's comp is named Elder Tellez from Argentina. He is this big guy and looks Poly and is so humble and loving, and when he told us his story I just wanted to hug him. He is the only member of his family, he had no support from his parents coming, he has only been a member for 1 year and a half and he is here. He said his parents are now going to church, and the other elders were telling him they'll get baptized and he will be so blessed, and he finally put on a smile. He and his humble, loving, sharp personality touched me so much and I thanked him for being here. What an example. We take things so for granted sometimes and think our sacrifices are sacrifices, when others give so much more. What an example.
Also on Tuesday, Elder Falk had written Hna Orantes and I a note. It brought me to tears. He wrote us a thank you letter for making his birthday special, and although it wasn't a huge deal to us, it meant a lot, and he said for the first time in a long time, he hasn't felt so alone. I started bawling because he does so much for us and we really have a great friendship, us 3, and I can't imagine all the things he is dealing with (4 new missionaries, a hard zone, a difficult or different comp, ZL, etc) and it was so nice of him to express that. Tender mercy for sure.
So Tuesday we left the meeting and went out to work, and I just felt SO sick all day (from being sick with the flu, from being so tired from not sleeping, dizzy, etc.) I hate not being able to work though, so when Hna Orantes and I talked in the street and she said she could see it on my face, I started crying cuz I didn't want to go home. I just begged her if we could try one lesson with Evelyn (a jovencita girlfriend of a member who got her pregnant so now they are waiting to get married and she wants the discussions.) We went inside and turns out she was sick too, so we just shared something short, but during sharing my testimony, I felt the Spirit so strongly and more than that, felt God´s love for Evelyn, and it was so strong. I was crying and it was such a tender mercy to feel a part of the love He must have for her. Then, in the closing prayer, the grandma Garcia got very emotional while thanking Heavenly Father for us being there and called us angels and that was such a tender mercy for me. We ended up going home afterwards because I was feeling sick, and I rested.
Wednesday we did practices with the other hermanas (cuz the ZLs requested that) and it was a good thing--we got to help them, give them counsel, etc. Then we went to Paul! A member, Pedro Chavez a RM accompanied us, and it was AWESOME. He was super direct with him but awesome. Paul said he has thought about being baptized, about going on a mission, entering the temple, everything. BUT he refuses to accept still. Dang it! Then towards the evening, I got feeling REALLY sick and had to go home. This time I felt so horrible though, like down emotionally about everything, and just physically horrible. I felt really down like I want to do SO many things and feel inhibited like I can't, and like I am being prevented from accomplishing my potential as a missionary. Elder Waddell talked a lot about true success being reaching our true potential as a missionary, and I felt so horribly for our lack of numbers, baptisms, lessons, everything mostly because this last transfer I've been pretty sick. I felt sad and just really disappointed cuz I didn't want to disappoint everybody (the ZLs, my DL, my comp, the Bishop, etc). Hna Orantes felt horribly, and she got really bad emotionally cuz she hates seeing me sick and said she feels badly she can't do anything to help, etc and I explained that the little things DO help a ton, etc etc. I asked for a blessing and a recent RM in our ward, Jose Luis (who has really become like our best friend/brother in the ward--he is way awesome) came and gave me the blessing. I felt afterwards that I needed more faith and obedience, and it was a good, simple blessing. I was just grateful that he came and shared of his spirit with us.
Thursday I was sick and we stayed home. I was a bit more animada but was really super sick throughout the day. Luckily the members help us and support us a lot.
Thursday I was sick and we stayed home. I was a bit more animada but was really super sick throughout the day. Luckily the members help us and support us a lot.
Friday we went out because I wanted to see Paul and teach him, but he wasn't home. We went to lunch and I just got very down again because I was NOT better, and not getting better, and getting super dizzy again, and just down because I want to do SO many things and work hard and find new people and baptize and bring this happiness to everyone and reach my potential. I just didn't understand why this was happening, and so often in my mission. I know I've learned a lot but the Lord wants me to work and baptize and help others and reach my potential so that's what didn't make sense to me. Hna Orantes quoted a scripture to me (Isaiah 55:8-9) and she didn't even know that that scripture has actually been the theme of my mission! My ways are not your ways, my thoughts not your thoughts. Hna Angulo, hna Johansen and I always used that. That was inspired for sure to share that and then I read Mosiah 4:9 and got teary and realized that I probably won't understand, and that it's ok. The Lord helped me to continue preaching that day and even though I was sick, He helped me to have the Spirit when we contacted, and to have the energy to stay outside.
Saturday we were going to do a practice with the other Hermanas when Hna Sanchez broke down and couldn't continue, and so Hna Orantes took Hna Vidrio out and I stayed to talk with her. We had a long talk and I helped her answer her own doubts and questions and I built her and testified and she came up with goals she could do, etc etc. It was wonderful. Afterwards, I hugged her and when I did, she said it felt so good because she felt like it was the Lord´s hands hugging her and letting her feel of His love. Wow. Saturday was also Hna JO´s 22 bday!!! I called her in the morning and Hna Orantes and I sang "Estas son las Mañanitas" the whole song, plus Happy Bday and she was laughing at first and then just crying a lot and so grateful. Awwww I could tell that it meant SO much to her and probably was the highlight of her day. I love her so so so much. Saturday we had a GREAT day full of success and people with real intentions and we were just on top of the world and I felt SO grateful!!! We were then invited to the ZLs baptism, and Paul had promised to come with us but when we got there, he had gone out of town (stupid needs to rearrange priorities haha) but his cousin accompanied us and that was a blessing because we feel it's his time to learn now too!! The Spirit was SO strong at the baptism and they asked Hna Orantes and I to share our testimonies, and the people that got baptized thanked us so much afterwards, and it was just really neat. Also, there is a member in their ward that looks and acts EXACTLY like Jack Black--it's awesome haha. It's just always great to be with great people who have the Spirit, but also know how to have fun (ex: Hna Orantes, Hna Jo, Elder Falk, etc). Something I really loved that the first counselor of the Bishopric shared at the baptism, was he said, "Esta es una decision para valientes." I loved that. Although it doesn't seem so hard to choose and do it, only the valiant choose to do so. Only the valiant get their priorities in line, feel the Spirit, follow their answers, and make covenants with the Lord. This is a Gospel for the valiant, and what a blessing it is to find those people, and share with them, and be blessed by them! Be valiant :) It's the best way!
Sunday we went to church and we were feeling pretty sick from fasting, etc and then the Bishop made us feel horribly about something about the Principles of the Gospel class, that hasn't been going on because nobody goes, and knows they should go. There isn't a teacher, we didn't have the manual to prepare the lesson, we don't have a ward mission leader who comes, etc etc but the Bishop made us feel pretty badly in consejo de barrio about some things, and I just felt that once again, I was letting him down and then he also said, "Hna Bryan, you were sick this week again right?" I teared up and said yes, and he asked if we were going to the doctor or what, etc and it just made us feel misunderstood and just wanted him to know I wasn't choosing this, and wanted him to know what my true self is like, etc. I felt pretty sad and down after that, and we went to go break our fast, and as I broke my personal one, I was just bawling and bawling because during the prayer, I just felt so much love and closeness to my Heavenly Father. I know that if no one else can see who I am, or know my desires, at least He knows, and isn't that all that matters? Anyway, Hna Orantes was pretty teary as well--she was crying for me because she could see I wasn't ok and she also felt sick, and we were just down about our program, the bishop, letting the adversary make us think we were letting people down , etc etc and we were just crying and wouldn't you know but Jose Luis was waiting at the window to catch our attention, and ask to come in the room. What a tender mercy from the Lord. He came in and asked what was wrong and he just showed us that he cared, that he supported us, that the Lord loved us, gave us animo and counsel, etc. He told us that if we don't have logros, we at least have the Spirit. I really liked that, and isn't that the greatest accomplishment of all? To have the Spirit as our guide? He has been the means through which the Lord shares His love to us so many times, and WHAT a tender mercy it is to know people like that who follow the Spirit and truly have charity and share that. He is like our best friend and brother. What a blessing.
We went to lunch and then got super pwned by it--pretty sure the chicken was a bit raw. (We are still sick today--I've barely eaten anything since because I can't. We spend time in the bathroom a lot dang it) Hna Orantes got so sick that she had to hold onto my backpack as I led her home and she had to stop and fall down to rest a few times on the way home. I took care of her and we had to go home. I rested for a bit cuz I felt sick too, but then studied, and loved it so much--how I love studying the scriptures!!!! I'm reading in Genesis, and something I have loved reading about is Abraham. To receive the covenants and eternal blessings promised him, he too, had to prove his faithfulness, obedience, willingness, etc. (through obeying and being willing to sacrifice Isaac) and every scripture that talked about the blessings of the Abrahamic covenant gives the reason that it was due to his obedience with that. What if he would have questioned the Lord or complained cuz he loved his son? Maybe the Abrahamic covenant would not be. What amazing blessings we can receive just for being willing, and obeying, and it's just proof that the Lord proves or tests us and then blesses us immediately.
Also, all throughout Genesis, the Lord gives commandments and then immediately reassures them, "I will be with thee." He always is with us when we obey and serve Him and do His will, and He will always help and make Himself known. I have felt that, and know that the Lord is with me through everything. He loves us and will help us along our earthly journey!
Elder Ayala called to get our numbers, and he was just so understanding again, and he just said how much he admired us for going out when we are sick, and said that he has recognized that this week has been one full of challenges for us, but thanked us so much for the work we do, and I just wanted to cry for how amazing he has been. I thanked him so much for being so understanding. In my notebook of memories we all pass around, he wrote that he wasn't sure why the Lord called him as DL (pssh I am!!! He is the best I've EVER had, and I've told him that) and said that if it was his choice, he would tell people he votes to be in the district of Hna Bryan. haha He was so so nice and complimentary in the entry and he just makes me want to cry of gratitude. So that's why I'm SO blessed and happy to still have him as my leader even with this change!
So then the crazy phone call came at like 10 something and Elder Falk said hi to me and then said he had good news and bad news. He then said, "Hna Bryan, you have changes." I thought it was a joke because we have had so many, and he said that unfortunately it wasn't, though he wished it was. I asked him why the heck it was good news? haha And he said cuz I was going to be amazing in my new area and see miracles, etc. He said it was bad news for him (he thought I wouldn't be in the zone haha) and then just began to thank me for everything I've done and etc etc. He thanked me a ton and I thanked him a ton. Then later he sent a message that said, "Thanks so much Sister Bryan for all you've done! Have fun being the first sister Assistant to the President!" hahahaha I called him and he said that when they called him to tell him I had transfers, that was the first thing he thought bahahaha. I said that he was hilarious and that would never happen, thank heavens, haha and just thanked him. I'm so glad I still have him as my leader too! I just feel very blessed with leaders who know me and are so understanding and helpful and are appreciative, etc.
Today was so sad going to the terminal to see where I was going, and on the way, saw Hna Jo and gave her her Bday present, and she gave me a note that once again had the Isaiah scripture on it :) I am opening the area she first started in! In the terminal, a huge tender mercy was that I saw the Bishop from Manta and his family!!!!!!! He was SO happy to see me and his wife too and they just kept telling me to come back to Manta and how much they remember me, etc. I had always prayed to see someone from Manta even though that never happens cuz it's 5 hours away, but the Lord is so aware of me and of all of us, and loves us and sends us His tender mercies with His divine signature on them. "What we call coincidence is God's way of letting Himself be known." "Coincidence is the word we use when we can't see the levers and the pulleys." (Gerald Lund)
So a lot of lessons learned but all in all, a pesar de all the down, or disappointments, or sad feelings, the Lord has made Himself be very known in my life this week, and always found moments or people to share that love and His Spirit with me, and to let me know He is aware of me. What a blessing it is to be a child of God and to be His missionary, and what a blessing to have this Gospel! I know that He loves all of you SO much and if we can recognize His hand in our lives daily, we will be so much happier and feel of His love so much more. I know He lives and loves us. I love this work and love being a missionary. I love my Lord and my Savior, and love my Heavenly Father. I love you all and encourage you to notice His hand in your lives this week. Have a great one!!! Thanks for your support and prayers!!
Love,
Hermana Bryan
Hermana Bryan
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| Bishop and his Family from Manta |
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| Elder Falk on his birthday with the stuff we did for him! |
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