Well I want to start off first by saying, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to my dad and grandpas, uncles, and everyone else out there!!!!
This week has been way way full of ups and downs.
So Monday we revised things in Condor, our new area, and it was horrible--the area book was empty, everything was out of order and it just surprised me how much people don't take care of these spiritual things.
Tuesday we went to District Meeting and it was SO great to see the hermanas from Guayacanes and Samanes there and to be in the same district and the same zone. I love these people :) Elder Tellez, a new elder from Argentina told us his story and I was just SO impressed. He said that the elders always tried to commit him to being baptized and he never accepted, but that he accepted to pray more about it and he felt so strongly in his heart that he should be baptized that HE called the missionaries and told them he wanted to be baptized and when, etc. I was so impressed with that!
Wednesday I was pretty dang down because of how sick I had felt (dizziness, stomach things, etc) and cried a bit--my comp has been great about trying to understand and take care of me when I'm not feeling well but it's still not the same. Even though I felt that way, we still went out and I was feeling pretty bad outside and wanted to return, but stayed out. Good thing, too, because Gustavo (Hna Jo's convert) was stitting outside on his balcony reading the BOM, waiting for us. It was such a tender mercy from the Lord to be with him! Literally I felt SOO much love for him because I know how much Hna Jo loves him and because I could feel Heavenly Father's love for him, and because he reminds me of Julio. He had fallen away for a bit and held a lot of resentment, is sensitive, etc. but got really excited when he saw our happiness and excitement and energy and love. He re-committed to doing the simple things again, and we just let him talk and talk and let it all out, and then we testified and read with him and helped him feel the Spirit and God's love again. What a blessing to be with him. He came to church on Sunday too!!! We are gunna get him back :)
Also, during my personal study on Wednesday, I was really touched by how much people fall or remain okay in the Gospel or in their lives just by doing, or not doing, one simple key thing. (Dad, I don’t know how you ALWAYS know what I study and find or need, etc. The Spirit is always guiding you to share these exact things—it’s incredible!) That key is: REMEMBERING. All throughout Ether, I was so touched that their journey to the promised land was filled of them focusing on, putting first, and remembering the Lord, His tender mercies, and recognizing His blessings. They spent their time thanking Him, singing to Him, and as soon as they landed, they knelt down and prayed in gratitude, and then immediately got to work. What examples and what a different journey than that of 1 Nephi! Also, throughout the people and the different kings in the land, the key to if they prospered and remained blessed or started becoming wicked, was remembering the Lord’s tender mercies and blessings He had wrought upon their ancestors and in their own lives. Do we remember the Lord? If we always remember Him (as we promise to do upon being baptized and partaking of the Sacrament), we will be assured that we will live our lives in accordance with His will. How can one do wrong when they are thinking about or remembering the Lord? That’s the key. We need to remember Him. We need to recognize His hand in our lives, and be grateful. How grateful I am for Him and His tender mercies daily. I write those down daily and encourage you all to do the same! It makes the difference and helps us get through the hard times.
Thursday I felt super
sick and was pretty down emotionally because of how the sickness was making me
feel emotionally, and Satan has really been working hard on me through my
health and emotions--that piece. It seems he works harder and harder the
more time goes by. Elder Falk called in the morning and asked if I was
dead (haha it cracked me up because that’s like a best friend thing to say--like
something Hna Jo and I say to each other) and when I said I was sick he said, "NOOOO WE NEED YOU!!!" So once we finished planning and doing some other
things, we finally went out to preach and we got to visit RONALD! Ronald
is the son of a recent convert and he is evangelical and very intellectual and
has had a hard life. We visited him one other time this week and it was good,
we got his needs out by listening. (Listening, and listening by the
Spirit, is KEY. They tell you everything, and then the Spirit knows what
to say in response! My comp was pretty ancey to just teach and get it
done with, but I had to put my hand on her to tell her to calm down and just
let him talk. That’s a hard thing for some of the missionaries
here. They want to get in, teach, and leave, but what good does that do if
we don’t know their needs or if they don’t trust us? That’s just teaching
lessons, not people.) So we felt that for the next lesson we taught him,
our goals would be to let him feel God’s love in his life, let him recognize
his divine potential, and feel the Spirit (all of which he had never
experienced before from what he told us.) We got there, not knowing
beforehand what we would say or do (like Nephi going in to get Laban haha) and
just asked him how it went with his commitments, etc. He then began to
completely and utterly open up to us about his whole life, his feelings, his
questions, etc, and by the end of the lesson, as we testified according to his
needs, everything we wanted him to feel or recognize was
accomplished!!!!! By questions, and his trust in us, and the
SPIRIT! He said he felt that God did love him, that he had a special
purpose to fulfill here, that Heavenly Father has given him many answers that he hadn’t
recognized until we were there with him helping him recognize it, etc. It
was AMAZING and just so uplifting and edifying. He said that he really
wants this to be true, he wants families to be forever, etc. He needs a
testimony, but working with him, I know he can be baptized. What a
miracle---it was an amazing lift in spirits for me, from being down and sick,
to feeling the Spirit and being able to help someone feel God’s love for them--that’s
what it's all about. Such a tender mercy and a blessing that though I may
not be the best health wise or be able to do everything, the Lord still helps
us accomplish His will and our righteous desires as He gives us His Spirit and
guides us in His work.
Friday the ZLs came and
contacted in our area and took one of the ward missionaries with them.
The ward missionary’s family is awesome and the mom was so helpful in helping
me out with what I could eat, etc (I was still SO sick to my stomach, etc all
week). We then went out and contacted other areas ourselves and it was
incredible. We found Joanna--an 8 year old little girl who literally
could be 16 by the way she thinks and asks questions and understands
things. She asked us if we were religious and what we did, and we began
to share with her. She wanted to listen and I asked how she was and she
said she was bad because her dad doesn’t love her because he abandoned her when
she was little and that her mom doesn’t live with her, only visits on the weekends
because of work, so she feels pretty badly. She was tearing up and I
knelt down and grabbed her hands and just told her how much God loved her and
that she was His child, and we talked about Christ and then she just hugged me
and cried a bit and then we talked about Christ’s life, and she was the one who
asked us if we had any pamphlets or anything and wants us to come back and
immediately sat down and began reading the pamphlet as we left. I was so
in awe of her and her mature spirit and as we were walking away, with her
pamphlet in hand, Joanna yelled, “Gracias, religiosas!” with her cute 8 year
old smile full of love. These moments make everything all worth it.
Also we are working
with a less active mom and her non member daughters and husband. Her
daughters want to be baptized and love the church but the Mom inactivated like
at age 9 so it’s a hard come back for her and when we are there, she feels
peace and gets excited, but when we leave, it’s easier to think about just
staying with the Catholics, etc. Anyway, I know that we will work hard
with them and be able to see that family become eternal! They are a
really special great family. We were walking away from that lesson and
Hna Alvarez commented that she feels the Spirit a lot since we have been
companions and just hugged me and thanked me and was excited about everything
she is learning. That was another tender mercy because as I shared last
week, with all the pressures that happen and get put on us, and the trials,
sometimes we get down if we don’t have much to show for it. But the Spirit is the key, and most important
element in this work, and the most valuable gift we could receive from our
Father in Heaven!
Saturday I woke up and
was horrible. My health was bad and my stomach still hadn’t recovered,
and I just hurt a ton and checked my temp and I was actually 3 degrees Celsius
below what I should be because of dehydration--crazy! We went to the
doctors and they said I had an intestinal infection so they gave me antibiotics
and meds and I hydrated a ton. I learned that intestinal infections HURT
a lot. Also it was a tender mercy that Hna Alvarez was like a mom that
day to comfort me and help. The members were great and supportive, and
Heavenly Father literally answered my prayers in regards to the doctor and the
results. It’s the same doctor I’ve seen who has always been pretty rude
and made me come back a million times to tell me what I have. I prayed
that he would behave nicely and give me results the same day as I felt I
couldn’t wait longer. I got there and the doctor was nice and said to
remember they were there if I ever needed help or concerns as I was getting
better. He then said, "Well you have an intestinal infection, so why should
I send you to go get labs if I know you have that, right?!" ANSWER to
prayers right there! How I love my Heavenly Father. He is SO aware
of us and helps us daily.
I felt better enough in
the afternoon to actually study the scriptures (because the Bishop had asked us
to speak on Sunday so I had to prepare!) and how I love studying the
scriptures. It’s something I am going to miss SO much when I go home--the
time spent studying the scriptures. I love the mission. I was
looking through some of my pictures from the mission and it’s crazy how some of
those experiences seem like a dream. Like I haven’t really lived it--like
it was a dream. Time goes by so quickly and before I know it, it will all
seem like a dream. That makes me way sad! But what a wonderful time
:)
Elder Falk also called
at night and I seriously love him--I’m way grateful for him. He made fun
of my voice as I answered the phone and I told him to shut up and we just
laughed, and he told me not to feel badly or that I shouldn’t feel it was my
fault because it’s not like I’m bringing these sicknesses upon myself. He
asked about our investigators and said we are doing awesome, and he is stoked
for Condor to finally have baptisms and success. He said he would pray a
lot for my intestinal infection haha (he reminds me of Adam Demello--they have
the same personality--like a best friend here!)
Elder Ayala was also
great and understanding, and I just can’t express over and over again each week
how grateful I am for my leaders.
Sunday we went to
church and I got to play the piano (one of 2 real pianos I’ve found here in the
mission!) and we gave talks. The 1st counselor leaned over to me while my
comp was speaking and it was only 9:25, and smiled and laughed a bit and said
that after the hymn, I would have the WHOLE rest of the time to speak.
hahahaha Oh Joseph. But I did it! :) I talked about experiencing
the happiness that the gospel brings us as we live the gospel principles, and
then talked about the joy that missionary work brings us as well. I
related the two to Spanish phrases they have, shared scriptures, shared part of
“No me Puedo Contener” (thanks Dad!) and bore testimony. The whole time I
tried to be super upbeat and smiley and happy and loving, and I really just felt
all that being in this ward--I feel at home with these members and they are
active, fun, happy, and like working in the Lord’s work. I’ve been so impressed
with them! We got some great compliments about the talks, and people were
super impressed and said we activated the ward once again. I can’t tell
you how many horrible, negative comments I’ve heard just in 1 week about the
previous missionaries. How sad and horrible that they left that kind of
impression on the ward, its leaders, the recent converts, everybody! The
Bishop pulled us aside and said that he finally called Pres Amaya and asked for
elders or something to help the ward because he couldn’t deal with it any
longer. So President sent Hna Alvarez and me. No pressure or
anything! haha. The bishop is great, and super active and
supportive and wants to work hard. He expects crazy miracles though and doesn’t
really understand that we are human and get sick but that’s ok! :) We
like working hard and I just hope and we will try to live up to everything he
expects, doing the best we can (which is what we always try to give). I’m
way impressed that this ward is preparing 8-10 missionaries to leave on
missions this year (ps--is the worldwide age now 18 for young men to go out?!)
and we have a lot of ward missionaries, a ton of people wanting to do FHEs and
visits, etc--SO much so, in fact, that we feel dizzy each and every time we talk
to members or have meetings. It’s a lot to handle all at once because the
ward is stoked to recover everything lost with the other missionaries, but
little by little we are gunna get it all done! It’s a heavy load to carry,
and crazy information overload all the time, but we just have to trust in the
Lord! I am way grateful to be in Condor. The feeling there is one
of at home. I love the people already
and their personalities, and we all just mesh together which will make for
miracles here. My comp is awesome. She is so so so humble, way
happy and smiley, only a 2 year convert (wow--such an example to me), very
patient, and just great. We get along! It’s not the mesh of me and
Hna Jo--nothing ever will be--but I feel very grateful for yet another good
comp. The work doesn’t move forward without unity, work, and happiness
and joy. If we don’t have joy in the work, something is wrong, and when
other people notice that lack of joy, (from the previous missionaries)
something is definitely way way wrong! So we are starting from zero and
working our way up, and praying a ton for Ronald, Kristina, (the daughter of
the less active) and other chosen people here to be baptized (the ward has a 40
baptism goal for the year---crazy!!!) and just trusting in the Lord a lot.
So with all the
overwhelmingness of being here in the new area and having all this
responsibility and trying to live up to everyone’s expectations, the Lord
blessed me with yet another tender mercy--the best one all week. Hna
Orantes called me last night and said, "GUESS WHAT?!!!" I had no idea what
she was going to say and then all of a sudden burst out with, “PAUL IS GOING TO
GET BAPTIZED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I started screaming and was going to
cry of joy and was just SOOOO excited. She said that since I left they haven’t
even taught him personally, but set up an appt for him to be interviewed to see
if he was ready or not. She said Elder Falk spent a ton of time in there
and then when they got out, Paul just dictated that on Friday he would be
baptized as a surprise for the ward during the ward Father’s Day activity; that
he didn’t want anyone else other than Hna Orantes and her comp and ME to know,
and that Elder Falk would baptize him. Oh my, I am SOOO happy!!!!!
I just always felt how ready he was and that I was there for him, and the Lord
is granting me the opportunity to go see this fruit of our labors!!! Hna
Orantes and I are going to speak and do a musical number, and I’m SO excited
for Friday and to send the pics next week! What a miracle and what joy
this work brings!!!!!!!
I’ve been pretty
emotional lately about the fact that I only have 6 months left (on Wednesday I
hit 11 months). I can’t believe where the time has gone, and I don’t feel
ready, and it just makes me sad that the day where I get to say, “As a
representative of Jesus Christ, I promise or I testify,” etc will come to an
end. I just get SO grateful for the opportunity to be here and what a
miracle the mission is, and emotional when I think about this ending (good
thing I still have 6 months right?!) haha. The time in my life has never
gone by so quickly and never been more jam-packed full of learning and growing
opportunities, and how grateful I am. I just feel grateful, loving,
happy, and joyful thinking about the mission, this Gospel, and my Savior and
Heavenly Father. They love us so much and they let us know that daily.
How blessed we are! Ok I’ll stop love bursting about the mission now and
how grateful I am despite challenges, etc. :) Thanks for understanding
this rollercoaster ride of emotions week by week! It’s great.
Thank you all for your
prayers, counsel, thoughts, and love. I feel it and need it every day. I
pray for you as well!!! Love you and have a wonderful week and wonderful
FATHER’S DAY!!!
Love,
Hermana Bryan
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