Welp

Hola desde Guayaquil!

Warning: this email might be the most boring or random email you will ever read

This has been my 11th day of imprisonment or quarantine haha and to sum up our experiences since last Monday:  a bus trip to Guayaquil, 3 attempts at blood work, 2 blood exams, 1 migraine, 1 injection for migraine, lots of supposed prescriptions for meds that will cure me aka Vitamin C and Tylenol, lots of visits from the elders that made our days, a visit from the President, and tons of time to think or occupy our minds enclosed in the prison house in Guayaquil---I think we can go back to Manta tomorrow!!

Tuesday I was really sick in bed all day and finally at like 10 pm our Zone leaders brought us food--a bunch of American junk food (we have 2 gringos now as ZLs) and gave me a blessing.

Wednesday we found out we needed to go to Guayaquil because I still felt pretty sick so we ate lunch with Marianela and Gabriel, packed our bags, cried a lot because it was our last time leaving together as companions, and headed to Guayaquil.  4 hrs later we arrived at the emergency room and the elders were there to meet us!  We waited forever and I got to talk to Elder Hammer for a long time--it's super strange how much gringos make me feel better or at home haha. They took my blood again, I had 3 injections and a migraine only to result in---nothing!  More vitamins and tylenol haha.

Thursday the elders brought me my Halloween package which was way nice--the house in Guayaquil has bars all around it and really feels like a prison!  I felt super sick Thursday and felt so so badly for Hermana Angulo and for complicating the mission and all of the transfers of the hermanas.  But I also felt so alone and like no one understood how I felt--at fault for all of their poor situations as well!  I wished Dad a happy b-day like all day in my mind and hoped Dallin was doing alright with his wisdom teeth!  Hna Angulo and I had a candlelight party on the balcony of the house and just talked--trying to feel freedom!

Friday I was super sick again in the afternoon and I prayed really hard this day. The 2 other hermanas came home that happen to be from Hna Angulo's group and stayed until Sunday (they are working in 2 areas right now--crazy!) 

Saturday the area Doc called me--he´s from the States and only 1 week into the mission and it was SO great to talk to him!  He made me feel a lot more at ease about things even though they don´t know what I have.  Elder Hammer took care of our lunch this day and Sunday because he knew we didn't want the typical food and brought us lasagna and garlic bread and a huge salad for Sunday´s lunch--I love Americans!!  He also bought us some things he knew we would like and would make us feel better--bless him haha.  He told us he had researched a ton on webmd and thought I have hypothyroidism I think it is--I certainly hope not! Really I cannot even explain how great those visits were--brought our spirits up a ton!  I watched The Testaments and chatted a bit with the hermanas and felt a ton better this night!

Sunday Hna Angulo didn´t feel super great and we stayed in bed talking and singing songs (some American ones) in our bed until the afternoon haha.  We got ready and enjoyed our salads, took naps and then had the pleasure of the President and Sister Amaya coming to visit us in the evening.  I felt SO much better Sunday and was back--the elders joked with me that I had resurrected from the dead!  It was so nice of President to come chat and leave a prayer and blessing with us.  He also informed us that when I feel better, we are to return to Manta and Hna Angulo will be with me at least for this week.  He didn´t say any more and we are wondering if she will then have transfers or if they are just going to forget about those transfers!  It´s been kind of crazy to try and figure out the reasoning for my sickness and our time here in Guayaquil--maybe she is needed with me in Manta.  Who knows!  Then Elder Hammer and his comp came and gave us the Sacrament at like 9:30 at night haha.  His comp teased us a ton about buying something called makeup and getting ready and I gave it to him about being sick etc :)  

BUT I´m way dumb because every time I feel better, I think I´m completely cured but then start to feel more tired again.

I didn´t sleep at all last night.  Maybe 1 hour or 2 and so today I woke up NOT good again so we remained locked in Guayaquil :)  OH JOSEPH!  I think I finally went crazy today.  11 days. In the mission. wow!  and Hna Angulo now doesn´t feel good.  Haha our theme for our companionship has always been:  Que mas nos falta!  because strange things follow us but we have loved our time together and our crazy adventures.  

But when it all comes down to it, it was incredible the lessons I learned personally while in bed this week and these 11 days.  It´s amazing that when you are made to rely wholly and completely on the Lord and only Him, how much at peace and in calm you feel.  In the mission, although I have you all, I only really have Him because our comps don´t completely understand us either!  I felt so guilty this week for making everything difficult for President, the other hermanas, my comp, my sickness, etc. and I also felt super down like I have no idea what I need to learn or why this is happening and I feel so sick and we can´t work and improve the program and spread the love of Christ and the truthfulness of the Gospel!  But I really just KNOW that I don´t have to understand and I probably won´t.  But the Lord knows exactly why.  He knows everything and He blesses us with the experiences we need.  Maybe I needed to learn something, maybe my comp needed to, maybe the other hermanas were needed in their areas this week, maybe the President needed more time to really know about transfers, who knows.  But I do know and testify of the overwhelming peace and comfort we can feel when we trust fully in our Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ.  They know our lives and if we do all we can to be obedient and serve them, they will make sure that our missions and our lives unfold from the first day to the last exactly as They have planned.  I know this church is true!  I know that missions are miracles and that I´m blessed to be here.  I know that working and serving and spreading the love of Christ is what makes us happy in this life.  I know families can be together forever!  I know Christ lives and loves us and I know that if you are having a hard time and don´t understand why, that you can feel completely at peace or calm with His love and through prayer.  Heavenly Father answers prayers--dont´ever give up!

Also--I need to say that while They answer prayers and comfort us, etc., they expect us to do our part and work.  It will NOT be easy but if you receive an answer or feel you need to do something to better your life, DO IT!  You can´t afford to wait it out--blessings and eternity are at stake.  I love the saying that if Heavenly Father asks you to give something up, obviously He has something better in mind.  That is so true and also I know that in life, hard things are required, especially in this Gospel.  However, we prove our faithfulness and willingness to do all that is required of us and will never be able to give up or go through hard times more than we receive the promised blessings.  Trust in Him. Trust that He will give you strength and support you in the hard times.  Do your part and He will take care of the rest!  He loves you!

I love you all and am SO grateful for your love and prayers.  I pray for you every single day!

Have an amazing week!  Love you!

Love,

Hermana Bryan

Logan: I read Alma 17:3 and thought of us.  You are the best missionary I know and you look SO great in your pic!  I miss you so so much and know you are learning everything you need to learn in this area and with your new comp.  How awesome it is to hear of your experiences and faith building testimonies and challenges as well.

Dallin: I laughed out loud at your joke this week.  Hahahaha women.  I am sending you and Logan that little thing this week as I was sick last week.  I hope you feel better with your teeth!

Mom and Dad: I love you--thank you so much for your concern and prayers. Thank you for the quotes, Mom and I smiled a lot while reading the Keep Moving Forward one--I love that one so much.  Ps-- when are pres elections and who are the candidates?  Also I would love more protein bars and body spray for Christmas.  One more thing--I´ve been thinking a lot about Dr.Nelson--can you maybe ask if he wants to receive my emails? I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!

Lunch with Gabriel, Marianela, and Allisson right before coming to Guayaquil

Trust in the Lord with all Thine Heart

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD ON THURSDAY!!!!  So Sad I can´t be there but I will be thinking of you all day.

Hola!!  Well the title describes what I´ve been thinking lately with transfers this week and also with my physical condition.  The Lord knows everything and knows why things happen and I just know that even though our mortal understanding can´t comprehend the eternal perspective of situations sometimes here on earth, our Heavenly Father is so aware of us and if we trust Him and the important part:  ACT according to His will for us, we can KNOW that He truly will direct our paths.

I´ve been sick, in bed for 4 days straight and I feel like I have Mono but the people down here have no idea what that means haha.  I got to go to a medical clinic today and have the opportunity to experience 3rd world medical care--they sent me home with some meds cuz they have no idea what I have!  It started out where my body literally just felt like it would collapse--I couldn´t breathe well and completely lost my appetite so we returned mid day and we thought it would go away.  Well it didn´t go away at all and so I´ve only left the house for our baptism on Sat, church on Sunday and we came home early because I was dying, and today to go to the medical clinic and say goodbye to Marianela and Gabriel with Hna Angulo because they wanted to see her before she left (and as of now we have no idea when that will be!)--they are incredible ps!

Well Monday night our footsteps were literally guided by Heavenly Father and we felt SO so grateful.  We met with a new investigator who wants to find the truth and said this was the last place he would look and we just felt good about him and his desires and like we knew exactly what to say.  We have a great comp dynamic.  Hna Angulo then immediately thought in Manuel and we couldn´t believe it but went to follow that prompting and on the way there ran into  Soheil.  I knew immediately that the ¨Manuel¨ thought actually was to find Soheil--I kept having Logan´s words to me about that situation running over and over again in my mind that he prayed SO hard that one of the 2 would accept and turns out it was Soheil for now.  It was so great to meet with him, he feels things super deeply and feels guilty for his sins so we talked about the Atonement.  His eyes are so full of light it´s incredible!  We also figured out for sure it wasn´t for Manuel haha but left a blessing with his family and his household--I know for sure one day that fam will accept.

Tuesday we had the lovely privilege of showering in our ZLs house because our bathroom had been a pool for a week and was getting fixed so we went in all our beauty and PJs to their house to get ready and let me tell you right now that elders have NO idea how to treat sisters sometimes hahahaha it cracks me up and frustrates me at the same time.  We are humans and yes I understand we were there in PJS and to shower but chill out, they left the house and we got ready but Elder Van Wagoner couldn´t look us in the eyes and was pretty short and red in the face.  Poor guy.

Hna Angulo and I shared an activity with the zone--because our zone struggles a lot and it went superbly!  We had a great and fun activity with action, treats, and they had animo and then shared a lesson and then sung Come Thou Fount at the piano.  The spirit was very sweet and we could see the difference in their faces--full of love, the spirit, but also determination to do this work.  But then the leaders took over again and everything fell to the floor it seemed.  We actually talked to them afterwards and let them know how we feel over and over again dreading to come to meetings because no one feels good.  There is a way to get the elders to work and get animated but it isn´t by tearing them down completely every single week.  There is an artful way to mix in criticism with praise and encouragement and I have learned that really everything I learned in teaching children applies with adults, missionaries, lessons in the mish, marriages, companionships, etc.  I guess it´s because we´re all children at heart!

Our footsteps were again led to Marixa Pico--a reference from the ward and it was perfect because a member was already visiting her.  She felt so sad and guilty for some sins she committed and for an abortion 20 days ago.  We felt her sadness and it was a miracle the exact time we could share with her a portion of HF´s love.  Wednesday, at our second lesson, she told us how much better she had felt since our visit the night before and that she has real intention.  She wants to hear the lessons and pray for an answer and use the Atonement in her life.  She will have a process but we can see the fruit that will come and the happiness and light this Gospel brings!  It completely changes lives--how true this work is. 

Wednesday was also Gabriel´s interview and we found out beforehand he had participated in an abortion 10 years ago and so the interview was pretty long and even then, we all had to wait while the elders went and called President Amaya.  Gabriel was so great, though--he recognized everything and why it was happening and had such great desires and we were SOO stoked when he passed!!!  I screamed WOOHOO outside haha.  Such JOY--it is indescribable!  Every returned missionary is so right this week when they wrote me and told me that the mish is so hard most of the time but the moments of pure bliss and joy are the things you remember.  I´m already starting to see that as I reflect back on my time here!  I feel so privileged to be in the mission and to share the love of our Savior and His truth with the people here!

Also during the interview, I got to play the piano and sing for like 2 hours straight and it was exactly what I needed.  That was for you, Jill Gibson :)

We saw Soheil Wed night and he had been praying--hadn´t missed a morning or night and had felt so so much peace and calm in his life which is a miracle for him!  We talked about the Word of Wisdom and he had read some pages in Persa-Farsi we had left him describing some of our beliefs.  It's difficult though because we don't have the Book of Mormon and we are kind of at a loss of how to teach from here on out because he doesn´t read Spanish.  Help! haha.  We haven't seen him since--he missed his lesson and church but we aren´t done yet!

Thursday we saw Rebeca and Pepe again and it was such a frustrating lesson.  I don´t know how to make things click with them or if they would receive it completely instead of part way.

Marianela had her interview on Thursday and we were all surprised when the elder had to go call as well for her but thank heavens for the elders and their interviews!  She was really nervous and tired after everything but also PASSED and it was so wonderful!  I got to play with her 2 year old girl Allisson as we were all waiting and she is a completel doll--FULL of personality and just gorgeous.

Soheil passed us and told us he had dreamt that we were all walking in a garden and had a peaceful night for the first time in months. hahaha that guy--we love him.

Also we met with Mercedez and Anita and the husband Juan Carlos was there--which was a miracle!  We taught about the law of chastity and they realized the importance of that commandment and committed to talk and set a date to get married and he also accepted baptism with the rest of them so we need to focus hard on them and teach him too!  They are another amazing family--its so important to find families!

Saturday--BAPTISM!!!  Marianela and Gabriel are such an amazing, powerful couple and the ward members can already see how strong they are and will be!  I love them so much.  They have meant so much to us and to know them, having taught them, and watch them change and grow has truly been a huge privilege.  They were shining :)

Sunday they received the Spirit and Marianela was teary--they have the temple in mind and that goal set and they can´t wait for us all to come back in 2 years during the summer.  Yes--I´m telling people my plans for that already and they are counting on it :)

Also--all during church, Allisson was crying to sit and be with me so she ran up to the stand where I was sitting and sat on my lap the whole meeting and only wanted to be with me--that was a sweet experience because I love her and kids so so much and she is so cute! 

Sunday I couldn´t sleep even though I was dead and tried to all day.  Haha I hate change--you all know that I get sick and worried about changes and so we were pretty uptight all day.  We got to reflect on our time here and it truly has been a marvelous, growing, incredible experience.  We´ve recognized how many blessings we´ve received, how many amazing things we have been allowed to see, the lessons learned, the amazing people SO close to our hearts, etc.  When Hna Angulo got transfered, our hearts dropped.  We knew it and felt it but didn´t want to accept it.  We both cried and hugged each other for a long time and just reflected on our time.  Also, there was a fireworks show outside for a long time which was kind of cool--like a last hurrah!   We love each other and it´s hard to think we have to start over now and especially hard for her to leave this place after almost 8 months but we will be back :)  What a privilege it has been to be here with her, to learn together, experience EVERY single aspect of the work together, laugh, cry, and most importantly take these people with us in our hearts.  This work is life changing, brings salvation, and lets light and love enter into your life.  Embrace it with all you have!!

We will see what this week brings with changes in comp, etc but I know the Lord knows us!  I love you all and miss you so so much!!

Love,

Hermana Bryan

Logan:  I´ve been praying for you and E Washburn and Tod all week!  I´ve also been praying that things work out exactly as they should for transfers.  I'm dying to hear!!!  How's Wyoming and the weather?  I miss you bud tons and tons every day--you give me energy to keep going and you are the best missionary I know.  I am sending you a lil summin summin this week.

Dallin:  I LOVE your jokes and your humor and I´m sending you a teeny regalo this week in the mail but I hope you like it.  Your week sounds busy but awesome.  How's seminary and your friends and your goals going?  6 pounds dang boy!  Your gunna be skin and bones.  Like Esqueleto only handsome.  Why have you not been baptized?!  Ps I love you and admire your faith and courage and support of us so much.  You are the best!!

Mom and Dad:  I love you so so much.  I´m so grateful for your packages and your talks, etc you sent me.  Thank you so so much!  I am grateful for your prayers and support, examples, and revelation for me and our fam and work in the Gospel.  You´re my heroes!!  Happy bday Dad!

Marianela's Mom, Victor (who baptized), Me, Hna Angulo, Marianela and Gabriel and Allisson

Another Week Gone By

Hey!

I firstly want to start off by publicly congratulating my 2 best friends on their ENGAGEMENT!! I love you, Jess and Scott!! You are a power couple for sure and I am SO sad I won´t be there but so so so beyond happy for you. (I know I said this already in their email but in public is much cooler, right?) December 17 will be the best day ever.

Secondly, thank you everyone so so much for your emails. It helps so much to receive emails and they always touch my life and strengthen me, so thank you!! Please tell Sis Merritt thank you so much for her email and Aunt Sunny and to tell everyone to keep em coming :) You are all awesome!!

I don´t know what my problem is but these past 2 weeks I´ve really really missed you guys a lot. But that just means I have tons of family and friends that I love so so much and hold close to my heart :) Thank you so much for your support and prayers and examples in my life.

Monday we had a great lesson with Marianela and Gabriel about tithing and they whole-heartedly accepted to live the law of tithing after baptism. They also told us they were out with their friends and told them about their new standards and that they are remaining strong, their friends support them and that they were going to be married and baptized and start a new life! They are so incredible!

Tuesday we met with them again and a miracle happened due to a Priesthood blessing Hno Lucas gave Gabriel on Monday night. When Gabriel went to smoke a cigarette Monday night, his body starting rejecting even the smell of the tobacco and was absolutely repulsed by everything so he didn´t smoke. Such a miracle from the Lord!! And he recognized it. He also was the one to remind Marianela to pray at lunchtime before they ate--she shared how impressed she was by that since she was usually the one. They are just golden! We taught them the importance of the Priesthood and I could tell Gabriel realized the importance of that great responsibility and he committed to prepare to receive the priesthood the week after their baptism.

We also had Priesthood Committee Meeting and it was absolutely incredible. The whole meeting was kind of focused towards us and it was amazing the support we felt for the first time from the ward that night! The Bishop told us he had been able to see that lately we had been feeling down about some things that happened and said he feels so strange seeing us like that because he wants us to be happy. He told us he has recognized our work, wants us to ignore the people that get mad or make us feel badly or not good enough, and said that he has never felt this way before but if he knew ahead of time the President wanted to transfer us, he would call and beg us to stay. He told us he loved and cared about us a ton and wants us to know that and know we have support in the Cordova ward. How incredible that was! We met our goal for member lessons this week for the first time since I´ve been in the mission--its been a ton better! If we can keep it up and train the leaders from the different organizations, we can start a ward mission plan.

Wednesday Marianela and Gabriel got married!!!! We went with them and their family and friends to the civil registration and were able to watch. It´s not a ceremony really but it meant a lot to them that we all were there--they didn´t expect everyone to come support them!

Wednesday we also met with Soheil and taught him about the Restoration. He is back but not completely--there is still some light missing in his eyes that was there before. We´ve tried to find him all week but haven´t been able to coordinate our schedules to meet with him again. I hope he progresses!! We printed out some scriptures in Farsi/Persian so he can actually understand more.

Thursday was my 3 month anniversary in the mission!! (and Logan´s!) we met with a new investigator Gonzalo who has tons of knowledge about the Bible but is searching for the truth. He promised to read the Book of Mormon but ¨not more than 1 hour a day¨. hahahahaha we were like UMM PERFECT!! 1 hour is a lot--we feel really good about him. We also met with recent convert who is struggling a ton and cried with her a bit and shared scriptures, etc. Another rough night unfortunately with working out problems but the power of prayer is incredible. Dad, you are absolutely right with the intensity and faith of prayers, the Lord grants us power and strength and we can feel of His love and do His work. I had a really neat experience and testify to everyone that prayer is so real--the Lord and our Heavenly Father loves us SO much and I promise you that you can feel of this love. Pray with all you have and have faith in Him and in His timetable, every righteous desire you have will be granted. Pray to feel His love and sometimes that is enough to get you through--it often is for me!

Friday another great lesson with Marianela and Gabriel and Gabriel had read somewhere or talked to somebody about things that happen in the temple and had tons of questions but with good intentions. They are preparing to be sealed in a year´s time and I think that has made all the difference in their progress. A lot of time missionaries focus investigators on their baptism and once they are baptized, a lot of them go inactivate because they already were baptized. But the real end goal is exaltation and the temple is the way, and if we focus our investigators on the temple, they are more likely to progress and remain firm! The temple is the goal and baptism is the door into preparing for the temple--it was interesting to think in this difference in our lesson focuses and progression of investigators, but it does make a huge difference! I hope I can attend their sealing--that would be so so neat.

Saturday we met with Rebeca Alcivar and WOW had that family missed us--it was crazy! Maria hugged us so much and Rebeca absolutely would not let us leave haha. We are going to teach Rebeca more because she has some doubts about Jesus Christ and God--that would be the reason for her not progressing more and we just recently discovered these! So of course she doesn´t fully understand or feel the Restoration. We need to focus everything on Jesus Christ because He really is the center of everything and of our message. She did tell us that the one day we sang for her Come Thou Fount was the one day she felt the Spirit the most strongly maybe in her life. We are trying to point out to her these are confirmations of Christ, His love, and the truthfulness of our message. We will see! Manuel was outside playing and we could tell he wanted to be inside I think. He kind of smiled at us and waved and his face looked a bit sad or shameful but his pride didn´t let him come in to particpate. We met his uncle who is a member in a town about an hour away and a great leader. He told us that he thinks what happened is that when people reach the point of no return in changing their lives or in accepting the Gospel, they panick and there is fear present. He thinks that happened but that Manuel had no idea how to control or manage those emotions. I feel like that could be adequate but we recognize that everything is on the Lord´s timetable and aren´t worried about it. I feel much more at peace about the situation. And yes, Mom he still has my CTR ring haha.

Sunday, Hna Angulo spoke and gave a farewell talk practically hahaha she feels like she is going to be transferred in a week. She has been here for 8 months--thats a really long time and things that have happened have made her feel that way. We never know, though! We also last minute had to teach Young Women. It´s crazy how fast time goes by in life and I got kind of emotional while teaching them--thinking back to my time in YW. I never ever thought I would serve a mission yet here I was in Ecuador trying to help these great YW make their goals and recognize what they really want and need to do to get there. It made me really teary to think of the experiences I´ve had and to think of that great stage of life--though it may not seem great in the moment haha-- (enjoy it young men and young women!) but most especially to think of Mom doing the exact same thing every Sunday. I felt very close to her and know how blessed the YW of Desert Valley Ward are to have your influence and counsel.

Well, this work is the work of the Lord and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is true. The Book of Mormon is incredible and so true. Read it and it will change your life. Pray with all the energy you have; feel of Heavenly Father´s love for you. He loves you! Jesus Christ is our Savior and how grateful I am for His Atonement. I´m so grateful that families can be eternal (and friends too :) ) and I just am so blessed to have you all in my life. Thank you for your examples! Live this Gospel and exude the light of Christ in your lives. There is no other way to happiness or true joy in this life than the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Let the little things make the difference in your life.

And for those struggling in life, big or small, I want to share this quote: "Individual, personalized challenges are the means by which we overcome the world. Faith that God knows what He is doing and that He loves you and that our trials won´t last forever (but the strength we gain from them will) helps us overcome.¨

That is so true! We are here to learn and grow and you are being molded into who you can really become. The pain won´t last forever, but the strength will. He loves you--let His love into your life! I love you, too. Thanks for everything! Have an incredible week!

Love,

Hermana Bryan

PS: I got to listen to Michael Jackson´s Billie Jean blasting from a neighbors window one night this week and I felt so happy to know that it was October and yet in Ecuador I could for one night listen to MJ during the month of Oct :) (Jess and family you know what this means haha)

Logan: I don´t know if you will ever know the influence and example you are to me right now in our missions.  You are INCREDIBLE and such an amazing missionary--the best I know.  Your experiences being down really touched me but moreso was your attitude and your testimony.  Your emails and testimonies you bear in them are incredible and so strengthening.  I have the best family ever--thank you for being the best brother and so supportive.  I am praying for you and your investigators every single day.  Can´t wait to be reunited!!!

Dallin: WHAT A BEAST!!!!  On the ballots and almost Homecoming Duke--we always knew you were the popular one :) with the perfect hair, smile, teeth, nose, bum, etc hahaha but seriously.  Don´t feel badly because maybe this was something Holden needed right now in his life.  How has building the float gone?  What's your responsibility for homecoming?  I loved those days :) I know Mom hates them haha but I loved working on the floats and getting caught up in Homecoming week.  Best of EFY sounds so so awesome.  Sounds like you are doing better int he friend department?  How have you felt lately?  I know that there are no better friends than family and feel so blessed we are all best, best, best friends.  I don't want to go to school when I get back in December--haha I really really would love just time with you guys for a while.  Dallin, keep up your example--you are the best 15 year old I know.  Keep doing the small but important things that will build your testimony and you will be the best missionary ever--like your brother is.  I LOVE YOU!  Never forget that.

Mom and Dad:  For some reason I have been thinking of Nana and Papa and wondered what the updates were with them--I never even knew they were being transferred haha!  But I am glad everything went well and I´m so glad they will be close to family.  How is Papa´s health--is he progressing or getting better?  I´m so glad you were able to help, Dad.  Mom, thank you SO much for sending the suits and the other packages in advance.  For some reason, Guayaquil hasn´t sent our mail down for like 3 weeks so hopefully I get the mail soon.  The mission office gets the mail and then they send it down to Manta to our ZLs so that's why it takes much longer.  Did you ever by chance send me some printed out pictures of family and friends?  I would love those.  I feel so so so beyond blessed to have you as parents and can´t even express to you how I feel.  I am SO grateful for your examples and your emails and support and strength.  I feel so blessed to have your examples of love and also of living the Gospel in my life.  You are examples of what every family wishes they could have or be and thank you SO much for living the Gospel of Jesus Christ and making it a priority.  Your emails are always so encouraging and uplifting and supportive and I miss you all so so much! 

Pics: making a toilet seat cover to protect from diseases

our Zone

our Bishops family

This Week!

Hola familia!! How I LOVE hearing from you all. Thank you so much for your emails--they were exactly what I needed this week. I miss you all so very much.

Monday after P-day, we had a miracle lesson with the Familia Gracia Vera. We are teaching Mercedez and her niece Ana, and Mercedez had read the intro and knew exactly the names of every prophet and person, had prayed, etc. Ana had read 2 Nephi 31 and loved the chapter and it instilled in her a recognition and desire for baptism. I started tearing up during the closing prayer when Mercedez prayed to know the things were true, etc. That is what we call a lesson like the movies because we always hope things like that happen. I know it was a tender mercy from the Lord.

Tuesday we had a wonderful lesson with Marianela and Gabriel and Lenin Lucas (the husband in the Lucas Hopper family) accompanied us with them. We talked about the plan of salvation--especially the celestial kingdom and eternal families (marriages). Lenin testified about marriage and making it work and about the Gospel in helping people change and work to have a celestial and eternal family, etc. It was incredible to hear him testify and to see the complete change in him and his family that was so close to being destroyed. That was a tender mercy to see as well--amazing!! The Gospel changes people, hearts, families, marriages, everyone. Manuel told me on the phone he didn´t have time to see us that day and was pretty short. We were walking back from our lesson with Gabriel and saw Soheil crossing the street, he started walking towards us and I said hello to him and that I was surprised he wasn´t in Quito. He started smiling and said that he realized it was a dumb idea to move away and that he decided he wanted to change his life around again. I started hesitantly laughing and said I didn´t believe him because of the complete change that was. He laughed and with his old-light in his eyes smiled and said seriously, I want to fix my life and I want to do it with the help of you two. I started laughing completely after that due to complete shock, joy, etc. That was absolutely one of the times in the mission I have felt the most joy ever!! Such a tender mercy from the Lord!! We haven´t been able to meet with him since but wow--it was so wonderful to see that Soheil was back, his countenance had returned with light, and he took the time to come to us and tell us. I still sometimes can´t believe it!!

Wednesday we had Zone Conference with President Amaya here in Manta. He asked me to bear my testimony along with a few others of the newer missionaries and I got really teary bearing my testimony of the love I have for the people of Ecuador, how I know we are exactly where we need to be and that every trial and struggle is exactly what we need. I am very humbled and grateful to be in this work and I recognize how much I have to work on and improve. President Amaya is nice and loving but super super direct and straight-forward. He is way direct and it´s good to realize things and accept his counsel. I have a different concept of him now as I can see that inside he is really loving but he does NOT beat around the bush for anything hahaha. It was a wonderful conference. Well I got a phone call at night from our District Leader telling me he had transfers and he was calling to say goodbye and thank us for things and tell us who we need to report to from now on. I couldn´t believe it! I felt kind of bad for my semi-bad feelings towards him but am much more at peace now about things he would have had control over (like interviews, etc). Poor guy haha. Hna Angulo was in bed and I ran to tell her. The next morning she had to ask me if it really happened cuz she thought she had been dreaming hahahaha she really had been struggling with him.

Thursday we had another lesson with Gabriel and Marianela and it is literally amazing to see the difference in the light in their eyes now compared to their countenances when we first met them. I love them! Gabriel had read the Liahona I left them and the specific articles I pointed out about marriage. He told me he recognized while reading that he had a ton of things to change and felt badly but determined to change--that was a miracle too because as a missionary we can´t really tell an investigator to quit being machista at times. The Spirit spoke to his heart and he allowed a change to start taking place. We found out he smokes 1 or 2 cigarettes at night and we took his cigarettes haha and he asked us to send him reminder texts. He needs to stay strong as he tries to stop--please pray for him especially since their baptism is for the 22 of October!!

We passed by Manuel´s house in the afternoon and he was there but refused to come out of his room. He finally sent his younger brother Pedro to tell us to come back at night. We did and he was with his friends and super rude and immature. He knew we were there for him but refused to give us the time of day to talk or say anything at all. Rebeca and Pepe were nice and hilarious as always but something happened in Manuel and we have no idea why he is acting that way but that would have been our lesson to bear final testimony and let him choose but he didn´t give us the option to do so. We left and decided that we won´t be trying anymore--we had been trying all week to call him and meet with him. His dad told us not to lose hope and that we had taught him the meaning of hope and patience (by seeing us wait for and teach Manuel this whole time). Well I was fine for a while but at night, the whole situation hit me. I started absolutely bawling while I was in my bed. Hermana Angulo sat with me in bed and comforted me while I just cried and cried. I love her, I really do and though we´ve literally been through EVERYTHING together, we work things out, and we are a great pair. It was so so hard for me to accept because I literally loved Manuel with all I had and it just hurts--the whole situation. I felt pretty tired of a lot of things but because of how much I loved Manuel and his family, Thurs night I felt like I had lost a piece of my heart or hope. But I realize that everyday brings small blessings and I can´t give up. That was how I felt Thurs night. Mom, the experience you shared with me was for this reason exactly. I had been in denial of the option of dropping Manuel and had refused to accept that. We knew it was the thing we had to do and for that, I bawled and bawled and I still feel sick to my stomach when I think about it but I know he will embrace the Gospel one day. He will--and he will remember our teachings and love. Thank you for sharing that advice and counsel and just really a confirmation of what we decided to do. I needed that confirmation in my heart.

Friday we felt so much the Lord´s blessings and fulfillment of promises. We found each person in their houses. A lady that was a reference from an investigator let us in and she is pretty dang rough and without interest. Turns out 2 of her sons are members and her daughter and grandson had received the missionary discussions before! It was an incredible discovery and she changed her attitude a bit. We had a wonderful lesson with a 14 year old girl who has a super sweet spirit and has needed to mature quickly for her age due to family situations. She is in Lesly´s ward and we know they will be perfect for each other :) We then had 2 lessons with drunk people because Ecuador beat Venezuela and every person and their dog was celebrating so that was interesting haha. We then went to find an old investigator we had seen in the area book and found them at home. The miracle was when the husband told us he was a member--an Ex branch president 10 years ago about to get married and sealed in the temple to his wife and family. His wife left him before their sealing and that turned his life upside down and he left everything. He got very emotional during our short lesson and I hope we can keep visiting them. I felt so badly for these years he has spent recovering himself without the Gospel.

Saturday we helped our DL with an activity with his ward (A Day in the Life of a Missionary) and got to do practices, contacts, knocking doors, and helping the members overcome their fears, give them criticism, etc. It was way fun. We also met with Marianela and she is soo so awesome! She has recognized the influence of the adversary trying to get her down about her marriage and baptism and his influence in many different manners yet each time has fervently prayed and is determined to stay strong. We went to visit a man named Absalon who actually contacted us on Monday during P-day. We were walking to lunch and he yelled out to us, I´M SUFFERING!! He told us that he suffers with emotional problems and anxiety and that the Evangelists tell him he might have demons in him and that scares him to death. We weren´t sure how much of a real investigator he would be but felt it our responsibilty to visit him at least so we did and brought a member to give him a blessing. We ended up giving him a blessing and staying for a while to talk. He was crying for a lot of it and I started crying a ton when he told us how he feels or what he struggles with. I´m almost positive he struggles with internal OCD. He went into some detail with the thoughts he fights and the feelings he has and it kills me to see a wonderful old man have to feel like that. I hate that I can´t do anything to take the suffering away from him and let him completely feel the love and acceptance of Christ. He has a heart of gold you can tell. It seems like the best people have to suffer more than the rest of us sometimes, huh? At the end of our talk and the testimonies we gave, we prayed and then stood up to leave. He said ¨Now you have an idea of how I am and what I feel and you probably think this or that...etc¨ I told him that we most definitely didn´t think anything bad. He has a sickness, has a lot of pain, is suffering, but has a wonderful heart and that it was very evident for us to see his goodness. He began to cry again at that and then we left. I feel so badly that there isn´t more to help him with and we wonder now what exactly Heavenly Father wants us to help him with--just to be baptized and feel the Atonement so he can immediately enter in after this life or if there is more we can or should do, etc. Also, Hermana Angulo hasn´t had a voice really since Thursday so that´s been interesting teaching and contacting hahaha poor thing.

Sunday we had a pretty bad morning and my brain was not working and we were late to church, our investigator that we passed by for wasn´t home, etc. Well we got to church and guess who had shown up? Out of all of our investigators (the few we have), Absalon and his wife came to church. Turns out many people know him. I know that´s a blessing from the Lord and we are going to start teaching them tomorrow (Tuesday). We had ward counsel tonight and man I can´t even express to you how frustrating it is to be there and receive all kinds of false criticism or feelings and thoughts, etc. Our ward mission leader doesn´t do much at all--its SO frustrating to work with him and then have the rest of the ward to try and work with as well. I don´t and shouldn't go into all the problems or details haha but Logan do you have any suggestions on how you work with your ward mission leader or ward or ward counsel? We need help!! The good news is that the bishop could tell we felt badly or frustrated and interrupted ward counsel to ask me how we felt and then asked me to speak. I spoke and kept in my anger or frustrations but was honest and gave suggestions and told them we can´t be pointing fingers at other organizations and refusing to accept our own weakenesses. As a ward and ward counsel, we are a team and need to work as such! He referred to my little speech later on in the counsel and was grateful for my commentary--we are grateful the bishop has concern for us now and wants to work with us and appreciates our input. That was way nice.

Welp I forgot to mention how awesome it was to hear about the Provo Tab being rebuilt in a temple!! So cool! Also Cecil was released?!

I started reading the Book of Mormon last week from the beginning and will finish in less than a month and I can´t tell you how awesome that has been. I have an absolute newfound LOVE for the scriptures. I encourage you all to read the Book of Mormon like a book that you can´t put down--it has been an amazing experience and the messages are much clearer. We can learn so much and feel so much of our Heavenly Father´s love and wisdom. The Gospel is so true, changes lives, please share this joyous news with the people you know! Never take your blessings for granted :)

I love you all SO so much and am so grateful for your example and support.

Love you!!

Hermana Bryan

Logan:  It hurt my heart to hear how hard last week was for you.  It was so hard for me too.  I know Satan tries to get us down but we can´t let him.  read Alma 34:41, 1 Cor 2:9 and know how much I love and pray for you.  Read the difference in the story of Aaron and Ammon--it's incredible!  I can't tell you how amazing you are and how much I look up to you.  Your example and experiences get me through sometimes.  The mission is super super super hard but it´s the greatest work in the world too.  I would love any and all of your counsel and will send you more scriptures and quotes next week.  I´m praying for you--you are the BEST, most worthy missionary I know.

Dallin; keep your emails coming bud.  I love you and sent you a hand written letter last week!  I hope you are feeling better and I´ve been praying so much you could feel of my love and especially Heavenly Father´s love for you this week to get you through.  Yuck about your wisdoms but hey you get to eat ice cream :)  love you!

Mom and Dad:  how I love you!!  Thank you so much for your words of counsel and advice.  Dad, I think every person has their downfalls and it was a time she spoke without thinking but we´ve put everything past us and it´s almost as if it never happened yet with the lessons learned.  I´m grateful for forgiveness and especially for our family, our love, support, the Gospel, and the Atonement that can get us through anything!!  LOVE YOU

Love You!

I started writing in Spanish but I don´t love writing in Spanish because it takes longer haha.

So I don´t really feel like writing a ton today because of everything that happened this week but I'm going to write and include the things I know you want to know or that are important. But first off I LOVE YOU so so much. Thank you for your prayers, examples to me, support, etc. It got me through most of the week. Secondly, How I LOVE General Conference. Wow.

Hna Angulo and I had a wonderful P-day last week that was just super relaxing and exactly what we needed to recoop our minds and hearts and start anew. We went to Manuel´s and had an INCREDIBLE lesson with him! What an answer to prayers. We read with him part of Alma 32 and analyzed the parable of the seed/tree with his developing desire, faith, and experimentation with these things. He kept saying he didn´t have faith or desire and that his actions didn´t mean that was his faith or desire because he still lacked that. Haha he is SO confusing but we have learned to translate his words. We let him say or believe what he wanted and continued with smiles. At one point in the lesson, he stopped reading and said, ¨This is for me, huh?!¨ He then started inputting his name in the scriptures! Incredible! We had never even told him about putting his name in scriptures, etc. The story really hit him and he directly felt and knew the application whether he admitted it or not. At the end I said, ¨Manuel, even though you say that no, no, no...I KNOW you have the desire, faith, and have changed. Even though it may be just a little, that is sufficient for now. I promise you like the seed, that your desire, faith, and change will grow if you pray, read the scriptures, and go to church. Little by little they each will continue to grow until they are like the tree.¨ He then admitted I was right and he did have desires and faith. Also, turns out that he only drank 3 sips of alcohol on Saturday and even though he was out super late set 3 alarms to get up and go to church on Sunday! 3 ALARMS!! I didn´t even hardly care he didn´t hear them hahaha--that shows big time faith, desire, and change. How I full on love this kid.

Wednesday. Starting on Wednesday until Saturday, I can honestly say was the worst week of my life. I don´t think I have ever felt so many feelings, felt so alone--I literally was so, felt so hurt or discouraged, or had to battle in my mind who I deep down know I am and can accomplish, with so many other things trying to convince me otherwise in many forms. I can´t really explain or don't really want to explain details--maybe after my mission but it was beyond hard and lonely.  It´s amazing when you have an incredible relationship with your companion and then something changes that and everything else can fall to the floor.  The bad week did start with Hna Angulo saying something that completely wounded me and she recognized it, has apologized and tried everything to restitue it, I forgave her from the get go and was never mad--it was the inner feelings afterwards I struggled with--self worth, what I can do, who I am and felt alone in how I view myself. However, I always remembered you guys and thank heavens I know who I am and what I can do.  I didn´t really explain what happened and I will after my mish--I don´t want to go into everything because that doesn´t help anything but I obviously needed to learn what all those feelings feel like and battle my way out and rely wholly on the Lord and His servants and scriptures.  And you guys.  I love you! 

Anyway Thursday I didn´t really feel any better but we had a wonderful lesson with Marianela and Gabriel--I love them and am so excited for their progress! They are excited for their baptism on the 22nd and I can´t wait to keep working with them. That was a tender mercy that day. And Gabriel came to conference!

Friday we were SO tired. We contacted for 3 hours straight in the sun without resting and knocked on every single door in the streets we contacted in just in case. Not super successful but we have no support from the ward members, no references, not many investigators and felt without other options! We just kept going. That day was hard for me thinking I have more than a year left and not knowing how much longer I could take the feelings I felt and the trials we are going through daily here in our program. Just when we think things can´t get worse, they do! Soheil wanted to meet with us and something had completely changed in him. He has voluntarily let Satan win his battle for now. Apparently he was dressed and walked to church but before entering, left and bought a pack of cigarettes instead of entering. Since that action, he completely lost any desire to arrange his life or fix things. He is hardening himself for future disappointments, feels free, and wants to experiment with things though he recognizes in the future he probably will come back. Cursed agency sometimes--if people could realize the pathway only gets harder to return. Satan knew the potential Soheil has dang it. Manuel wasn´t at his house for the third time and just every day things failed!

Saturday in the morning during personal study, I had some neat experiences in the scriptures. How my love for the scriptures and Book of Mormon has completely multiplied. Mosiah 24 really helped me--it´s interesting to note that the Lord relieved their burdens in phases. I love D&C 84:88, and though I´ve always loved D&C 121:7-9, it took on a much more real or applicable meaning in my life as I had literally felt some of the feelings or questions the prophet Joseph asked (though mine are surely to the smallest degree in comparison to his). Heavenly Father knows us and is willing to let us feel His direct counsel and comfort through his love and the scriptures. Then I read the story of Ammon but had never really paid much attention to the missionary experiences of Aaron. What a difference the two had in their experiences of the mission! The outcomes were quite different for a long while. Aaron had to endure trial after trial, hardship after hardship, and prison, and still people didn´t want to hear or progress. However, after he endured all those things, the Lord decided to give him success beginning with the king. Who knows why Aaron had to endure everything before experiencing the success that Ammon did but I´m SO grateful that Aaron´s story is written!

And what a BLESSING it is to hear General Conference. I had the heaven-sent blessing to watch the sessions of Saturday in English (Hna Angulo offered to do one day in English and one day in Spanish) and I was just praying and knew that my answer would come in this opportunity. I don´t think I can let you all know how much I feel this with all my might but that President Dieter F. Uchtdorf was inspired to write that talk FOR ME. Literally it was written exactly for me. Every feeling, experience, counsel, etc was 100% applicable and I felt like he and the Lord were directly speaking to me. I was crying a lot, laughing some at how amazing it was and I just feel SO grateful and utterly humbled at how aware the Lord is of my life and needs, and I never cease to be amazed that He takes the time to ensure and comfort me or show me how much He is there and how much we all matter. I felt so humbled. The Lord is so merciful and though they have so many children with so many other struggles, took the time to let me feel and know personally their presence and interest in my life by giving me direct answers. I love them so much and I testify of the inspiration of the prophet and apostles. The church is true!

We were able to have a lesson with Rebeca and Manuel on Saturday and it was pretty good. I taught them in 3 Nephi 11 what Logan taught me through his email the other week. We had always taught that it wasn´t until the third time that the people recognized or understood the voice (in comparison to receiving answers to prayers, etc) but I had never ever thought or paid attention to WHERE the people looked for the voice or answer. What an amazing example of a brother and missionary I have! I never cease to be amazed by how much he and Dallin and you guys teach me. Thank you for your examples!

Sunday morning, Manuel came with us to conference. We were SO happy!! But halfway through, he left and went outside. He told us he didn´t feel comfortable, he did want to know what was said but that he would wait outside. We tried to get him to open up which is a bad idea with him--he doesn´t love that, and being stupid we kept encouraging him to come back inside and he actually ended up leaving. Ugh! I felt so guilty and we felt so confused and sad. But then we really felt that we had a glimpse of an idea of what might have happened. I think Manuel for the first time in his life started feeling the beginnings of the process of repentance. It is a painful process and he could feel the Spirit in the conference if he was paying attention, and I don´t think he felt worthy to be there. That´s just an idea we had so we went to his house to apologize for trying to get him to come back in and try to explain those feelings to him. He didn´t say anything although we could see he felt something but then afterwards he said he didn´t want to meet with us because it would be a waste of our time. He said it under his breath and super sadly. We stopped and testified to him it was never a waste of time and that we loved him and could see his change. He doesn´t have confidence in himself and can´t recognize the good things and changes he has made. It´s so hard becuase he has his family all around him cutting him down and they don´t believe he has changed or can change really. We wrote him a long letter with things we felt he needed to hear and we really feel like he needs ALL of our love and support and teaching now more than ever. How we love him and we all have supported everything from each other but we need to teach him to do this for himself and he needs to learn and recognize the process of change, start it, and recognize the good things. We are praying and praying we can meet with him this week still and we didn´t lose him. He really is still progressing, just doesn´t give himself credit. Please continue praying for him--that he will open his heart again to meet with us and that we can continue helping him. He has so much potential and that was made evident in our feelings of the things we really feel we need to teach him or why we are there. Satan will work super hard on him and obviously is working hard on him because of what he can be.

This is the work--we don´t understand why we need to be the ones going through all of this and without success at all but we do know that we can do it and that there is a greater plan we don´t understand. The Lord knows all and He is so loving and merciful. I know that the people we are teaching can feel of our love and service and sometimes that has to be enough. I love the people here that we are teaching and I have learned so much this week but feel so humbled for how aware the Lord is of our lives.

I was so amazed at the Sunday afternoon session of conference--almost every talk was about missionary work or mentioned it! We felt SO grateful for the counsel, answers, advice, and stories present. I was just humbled by this conference experience. Well I love you all so much, I KNOW this work is the best work ever though it tries us with all we are, but the church is true and the good news of the Gospel makes everything worth it. How can we not share this joy with others?!

I love you all so so much! But more importantly, your Heavenly Father loves you and nothing is too small for Him to care about. Have an amazing week!!

Love,

Hermana Bryan

Logan: I´ve prayed for you so much this week and I hope your investigators could make it to conference and I am excited to hear about your experiences.  I love you!

Dallin:  you are NEVER alone.  It breaks my heart to hear of the struggles you are having and I want with all my heart to take those away but know that I pray for you every day like 3 times a day at the least.  You are the best 15 year old I know and the most noble one at that.  Keep on being who you are and living how you should and you will be blessed.  I love you!!  Read the scriptures like everything depended on them.

Mom and Dad:  I love you so so much.  I wished with all my heart to talk to you this week and express my heart but know I needed to do this on my own.  You can delete some personal things I included if you think it is better others don´t read them.  I don´t have more time.  Also, can you please tell Bonnie hi for me?  And then I was wondering if for Christmas you could send me another large journal from Deseret Book--I might need it after then.  Also I would love Christmas music to listen to before then but that´s not a high priority if you can´t!  I love you with all my heart and wish we could talk more about Conference.  You are the best parents I could have EVER been blessed with and I´m so so grateful for your love of the Gospel and examples to me.

What a Week!

Phew! What a week. My mind kind of turns circles thinking about everything we experience in a week haha it´s like an eternity of things and feelings that we go through. Welcome to the mission :) It´s such a wonderful learning and growing experience. And SORRY in advance because I´m just writing a lot of what I have in my journal so it might be long.

I will get to see all sessions of Conference and am SO so excited! They are at the Stake Center and Hna Angulo says there is a room with it broadcast in English but we aren´t sure if we can be split up so I´m just hoping and praying I can see it in English. I went to the temple twice in Guayaquil and most missionaries don´t get to go to the temple except for special occasions or when arriving or leaving.

Tell the Bashaws congrats and wow I hope they´re handling everything well! Sheri will be awesome to work with you Mom! Congrats in advance to the Dean family--I´m SO excited for Pat and Tiffani and their kids. How I love them and how the Lord works miracles in our lives. What a wonderful day Saturday will be. Give them hugs from me. Also if you could tell Jill Gibson and their family Hi from me, I´ve been thinking about them this week and miss them and just wanted them to feel my love :) Also hi to Jill Orme and Brie Call (maiden names sorry girls haha) because I don´t have their addresses and they wrote me for my bday over a month ago.

Ok on to our week:

Monday we went to the Alcivar´s and hung out waiting for them to gather their stuff together and go to the beach. We got permission to walk without our shoes on in the beach and it was Hna Angulo´s first time can you believe it?! Haha we were excited. Manuel was acting pretty rudely although I´m sure he was joking but it was ongoing. We had fun talking and tossing the ball around with Pedrito and Rebeca as Manuel and Pepe played in the waves. We all had a little photo shoot but then things turned downhill pretty quickly. They thought it would be hilarious to cover us in sand and Manuel took Hna Angulo while Pepe and Pedrito started with me and it was non-stop throwing sand for forever. We couldn´t get away and they didn´t understand to stop so we had sand ALL over everywhere in our hair, clothes, bodies, backpacks, eyes, ears, wherever you could see there was sand. It was horrible and we couldn´t defend ourselves because we´re missionaries! And they didn´t get that we had a lesson to go to and because we couldn´t go looking like that and there was no way to get all the sand off because of how excessive it was, we had to go back home and shower and lost an hour of teaching time. So we felt pretty badly about it and I was really really bothered. Haha so that was Monday :)

Tuesday our ZLs announced that from now on, our DLs would be the ones to verify our progress in the training program and we were pretty disappointed because of our DL. We had to explain to him how to carry out this responsibility and what he had to do and then after the practice, he told us we had failed big time in something and we were all ears to improve! That´s my fav part about the verification--the progress I can make and the goals I can set to improve weekly! However, he picked up my training program pointed at the pic of the missionaries and reprimanded me for not looking at my comp the entire time she was talking and that if my new comp comes in and asks who trained me she would be in disbelief I wasn´t staring at my comp the whole time. We were dumbfounded. That was our piece of advice? I explained to him our belief that it is key to look in the investigator´s eyes too but that I would really work on it. I felt so disappointed like I lost my opportunity to continue learning and progressing so we talked to the ZLs about it and I´m grateful for Elder Van Wagoner´s understanding! We will see if they change it for tomorrow--I think they will. We are def learning patience and trust in the Lord through this situation though. The DL is from Guatamala, Dad and speaks Kekchi (no idea how to spell) and didn´t really learn to speak Spanish here much so that's another barrier and he´s trying poor guy.

We had a lesson with Manuel that was pretty bad--he was more closed than ever and every answer was I Don´t Know and afterwards, Hna Angulo started crying a lot and I sat down with her and talked her through it. We know that kid loves us and is progressing--he def tries us sometimes though :) We then also stopped by Gisela´s house and helped her sweep the floor and shared a tiny message with her kids. I wonder if anything will ever come of our service or love? But I know everything happens for a reason and we are led to people here for a reason!

Wednesday was Hna Angulo's 16 mos anniversary in the mish! The day started out incredibly! We had an absolutely amazing lesson with Soheil--he has so much light and is so real. He told us that for 3 hours straight before coming to our appt, he battled thoughts and feelings of not wanting to come but still came. He feels like he can´t keep living this life alone and thought of moving back to Iran even though that might mean jail. In my mind that's way worse but he thinks and feels a ton and it eats away at him. He recognizes his life could be much worse but also feels like what is the purpose of this suffering or being a good person? So we completely changed our plans and taught him the Plan of Salvation focusing on our purpose here on earth and it was so great. He could feel the Spirit even though he doesn´t understand Spanish completely all the time. Soheil recognizes he needs to dedicate more time to God and loves praying or talking to God. It was a cookie cutter lesson: he opened up, the Spirit was there, we could crack up laughing, yet testify, and it was just ideal. Soheil recognizes what most people don´t and that is: to sacrifice something for God is so worth it. He said, imagine the blessings we will miss if we don´t do what God requires! We won´t ever get anywhere if we don´t act or walk to where God is--we can´t sit and wait because we won´t ever receive anything if we do. We were just dumbfounded at this 24 year old who has lived more life than any of us ever hope to and his wisdom. I asked if he was willing to sacrifice to go to church at 8 am even though he works until 5 am even though it will be difficult. He said yes and said if you think about it, nothing is difficult if it´s for God. I started tearing up when he said that. How true that is and how much we can learn from this young man.

We then had a lesson with Lesly--what a noble grand spirit she is. We taught her 2 lessons this week. The last one we taught, we ended up finding out that her family wasn´t going to be living in our boundaries after all. This news really affected me. We had considered Lesly a walk-in miracle and answer to our prayers. Also, because at the beginning of our lesson, I had the strongest impression that this incredible, beautiful and strong girl would serve a mission one day. Then we found out she had those desires. It was really special for me to feel that and then we had to turn her over. Yet we know there is a reason she had to be taught by Hna Angulo and me and trust in the Lord. We haven´t seen the fruits of our labors here in Manta and I think this was another example of this and it affected me but she is so special and we feel blessed to have known her for a bit! We stopped by Rocio´s to see what happened and wow what a change. She got super defensive and kind of mad and gave our BOM back with the pamphlets and changed her opinion on every single thing she had ever said when we taught her. We bore strong and final testimonies through the bars of her store and wished her a nice life because she told us we were wasting time coming there. Crazy how Satan gets people through the tiniest means sometimes!

Thursday we started off the day visiting Rebeca, and Manuel was there too. She had been to the hospital because she is way underweight and malnourished and came home with the news that she was forbidden from playing sports--the thing she loves the most--because of her situation. She has to take meds and was pretty down because of the sports. She started tearing up when we talked to her about it. We cried a little bit with her and I think it touched her to know how much we actually care because we were just there to visit her and show her we care. Manuel was back to normal--thank the heavens! :) We sang Come Thou Fount especially for Rebeca and she was really touched and we bore testimony and left. It was a special and wonderful lesson. Also, they started telling us that we need to make a pact to return together to Manta in 2 years. I started crying thinking of the possibility of mine and Hna Angulo´s time together coming to an end if she gets transferred this next transfer in 3 weeks. I really love her and we are a great team. We work well together, understand each other, can give each other counsel, laugh and cry together. We had another lesson with Manuel in the evening and it didn´t go as well as planned but he is just like a kid--super curious about everything and we are thinking of ways to teach and get him to feel. He is the one we fight the hardest for and worry the most about darn Manuel :)

Friday we had some good lessons and we had a lesson with Maria Alcivar about the Atonement. It was really great. She has been super down and worried about the Rebeca thing and the lesson was wonderful. Daniela Zambrano accompanied us for 4 hours today--she´s a great girl :) We knocked doors and contacted because we don´t have a program and are left without references from the members or much support so what else do we do?! haha It´s kind of fun too and it was fun to teach Daniela. I made her contact at least one person before she could go home and she was so excited afterwards--she´s gunna make a great missionary in 6 years. We then had a lesson with Manuel and it was superb! Hna Angulo had created a word search and the lesson was super simple about the Spirit. He answered every single question, wanting to particpate and afterwards kind of looked at us and laughed and said, Ï´m Mormon!´haha we were so happy afterwards at that success.

Saturday--the day of all days. We had planned another activity with Manuel and Rebeca and Pepe but they were distracted and the environment was super heavy because of some disagreements they had with other people who were there, etc. Pepe was having problems with his girlfriend too and although he was perfect in his commitment to stop drinking this whole week--didn´t take a single sip--he said he would probably drink that night because of his problems. Manuel said he might too or at least one because it was their friend's bday. I got super frustrated because obviously he doesn´t understand the importance of this or have deep enough desires to change 100 percent, etc. No one committed to go to church and Rebeca said no to the RS Conference. I tried to bear testimony and let them know how I felt and that I wasn´t sure they understood the importance of this message and that 1 or 2 times isn´t enough, that God requires more of us--all of us. But they were distracted and I was just sad and frustrated. We ended up each sharing some questions or personal thoughts we all had and it was a good bonding time with Rebeca. Pepe let us know we had answered a lot of his un-voiced questions and we could end with a hymn and prayer and felt the Spirit but something happened inside of me during the lesson. After, I literally felt like something had died inside of me. The joy you feel when the people you love with ALL of your heart is indescribable yet the opposite, I was actually beyond tears and just felt so sad, frustrated, wondered what I could have done-what we can do, etc. I was way affected and thank HEAVENS for RS General Conference and the incredible talk by Elder Uchtdorf. That talk was heaven sent to me and Hna Angulo. It´s hard to not be too hard on yourself when you realize the importance of this work and your calling as a missionary but we really are working hard and with all we have and we have to be patient with ourselves and realize the small miracles that make it all worth it. It was wonderful. Maria came with us and it was so great to have her there--she loved it. I know that the prophet and his apostles are called of God. I have such a strong testimony of this work--it is true! If you are in doubts, pray, ASK--that is key, listen, read the scriptures, go to church, and as sure as I am living, you will get an answer! Heavenly Father is so aware of our lives and will give us what we need--though those needs may be different from our desires or what our mortal eyes can see or expect. We recognized that our greatest struggles and tears for the Alcivar family have also been our greatest joys and laughters. We are grateful for them. Please pray that they will go to conference, FEEL, and accept baptism. Thank you so much for your support :)

Sunday Marianela and Gabriel came to church--they are showing forth tons of faith and desire and need our love and time and support now. I am so grateful for them! They had both gotten home from work at 4 am yet still came. What faith! Soheil didn´t show up but we won´t give up! The bishop is now showing us concern, wants to help us, and accompany us to visit members, etc. Such huge progress in our relationship with him. We ended up going home because I was really sick. I have felt completely and constantly dizzy for 2 days straight and Hna Angulo could tell I was really bad. I don´t know what happened but I had zero energy, and was just not well but started crying because this was the first time we went home for my sake. She put her arm around me as we were walking home and reminded me of the words of Pres Uchtdorf. She said she would really miss me and I 100 percent agree. I am so grateful for her :)

So this week was mostly hard and we are in the battles of the mission but we aren´t giving up! There´s lots to learn and experience and we know how important this work is! The church is so true. Please don´t ever forget that the small things are the big things to our Heavenly Father: scriptures, prayer, church attendance, obedience, etc. But also that nothing is too small for Him to care about. He loves you! He knows your life and potential. Allow Him to help you grow and allow Him to share His love and light with you in your lives. Thank you for your constant support, love, prayers, and letters. I´m so beyond blessed and grateful for you! I can´t really express my thoughts or feelings well right now but I love you! I love the message I have the privilege of sharing. We can use all the prayers we can get since we don´t have much success right now in Manta and are searching for the Lord´s chosen and battling with those we are teaching. Yet we love the people here and are grateful for every lesson learned!

--Hermana Bryan

Dad: Are there any meds for dizziness?

Logan, Mom, Dad, Dallin:  I love you SO much!  I don´t have anymore time but I love you so much and am so grateful for your support and emails.  Logan keep up the amazing work and Dallin beast it up..the 9 and a half pack is on its way!  I have the best family in the world!!!

Pics: Pepe, me, Rebeca, Manuel, Pedrito

Dulce--their niece

Another Week Gone By!

Hola Familia!!

How I miss you today. I feel SO tired and kinda under the weather so I really really miss you and miss being able to talk and laugh about anything and everything and spend time together. The thought of your roadtrip made me so happy for you and that time you spent and also sad because I miss you all so much! Dumb BYU haha oh well. Maybe the season will start looking up.

I have LOVED hearing about the updates on Nicole, Mom and Dad. She has always impressed me with her patience :), love for her kids, etc. Keep me updated. So cool about Tara´s baptism and when you told me about her husband, I started crying. How this work changes lives!! I bet she can hardly keep her joy contained.

Thank you, Dad for the wonderful scriptures and advice about continuing to minister. That actually has been a huge internal battle with me when I can see the lack of interest from people and hate that I feel that we are wasting time on those people and there are others out there who need this message. I just have to use discernment to know when to continue ministering and when to not. We are trying! And trying to find ´los escogidos´ the Lord has promised are ready and waiting to receive and act upon this message. We still don´t have much of a program but are trying to work and give it all we´ve got.

Packages, Mom thank you for your early thoughts for Christmas! I´ve racked my brain and really don´t have many ideas because there aren´t many things I need need. I would love protein bars as you know, that CD sounds awesome, a dress suit--they are needed for conferences with Pres sometimes, CTR rings for Manuel and Rebeca and Hna Angulo (although she will be in Colombia by then I will send it to her), anti itch cream and I will keep thinking :) Thank you so much mom I miss you and love you so much!

Congratulations on the engagements to Josh Tuscano and my Brookie Friedel/Eric Boman!!! :) so excited for you!

This week started out kinda rough after P day ended on Monday and was another up/down week after such an amazing week of happiness and laughter, etc. but we learn tons every time!

Monday we made Patacones to celebrate the first day of our new cambio! Look up patacones on google and thats what they are haha. Those and Chifles are hugely popular here. We were waiting for Manuel to show up for his lesson on Monday and he didn´t so we taught Rebeca and that crazy loving family served us Ceviche and wouldn´t let us leave and we finally ended our lesson to realize it was 10 minutes past 9:30--the latest we should ever be in the house. Manuel finally arrived and walked in the door as we were walking out. I made sure to shake his hand say bye and say bye to everyone else but Hna Angulo really quickly and shortly said goodbye to him--it was kind of rudely but only because she was so concerned about being late. However, Manuel took it that she was super mad and disappointed in him for missing our lesson and wasn´t worth her time of day. I know her and really it was only because she was super worrried about being late but everyone else couldn´t see that. It was bad. I saw Manuel´s face and it killed me--he was super hurt and sad and shameful. It literally killed me to see him like that because I can tell how sensitive he is and how much he feels things. I couldn´t really sleep and had to write him a letter.

Anyway that was our drama of Mon night. Tuesday we got a new Zone leader: Elder Van Wagoner and he is awesome. I learned SO much that day--more so than in my 7 weeks of zone meetings combined. And our district leader got changed too--we couldn´t believe our luck haha this change will be a more difficult one. We really are the ones that will be teaching the district for a while--its kind of a disaster because he has no idea what to do or how to effectively teach, yet kind of exercises dominion in a brusque manner--Hna Angulo is WAY struggling with it haha poor thing. I just laugh at our luck but oh well! Oh Joseph. We had a lesson with Isidro that was pretty frustrating on Tuesday. We watched Finding Faith in Christ and all he had to say after was that he had seen it before and it was a good movie but he had seen it! He is only thinking and not feeling so we explained things to him pretty directly and committed him to try and feel. We need revelation for this guy! And we haven´t seen him since Tues because of his schedule.

We then saw Manuel and Rebeca later on and Manuel wasn´t okay of course! So I kind of told Hna Angulo I think we should change things up. We spent time regaining their trust and confidence and played Truth or Dare--mostly Truth because there are few things missionaries can be dared to do haha and then chatted. They wanted to talk about what we really have analyzed about each other´s personalities. It was super interesting and it was mostly right on! Manuel was a teeny bit hostile towards Hna Angulo because he was hurt but I gave him the note I wrote and then we watched with them ¨To This End Was I Born¨. We bore testimony and the Spirit was there and I felt a ton better afterwards and that we had grown closer to them for sure. It was slmost 3 hours but it did wonders for regaining the relationship. Maria--Rebeca's mom was telling us that when we come back they want us to spend the night with them and they will put down mattresses and take us to their favorite place Cohimiis (no idea how to spell) etc. They really do love us and I´m so grateful for them!

I´m gunna try and sum up a lot of the rest haha. I almost got bitten by a dog this week! That was pretty crazy. I was walking by and the dog was chilled out and wasn´t doing anything and all of a sudden Hna Angulo yelled CUIDADO and the dog's face and mouth was ON my leg as I jumped forward and ran a bit to get away from him. He almost bit me but didn´t have the chance before I reacted. Scary haha.

Also EVERYWHERE we go we see the name Alcivar and it's kind of become creepy that everyday someone mentions their family or the name or we find papers or old Books of Mormon with their names that really aren´t theirs, etc. It´s a sign we are there for many reasons we have taken it to be :)

So we had frustrating lessons with Rocio and were super concerned if she was ready. Thursday I broke down for a little while because sometimes I have felt like it´s a waste of my time here because so many of the converts here become less active right away so what are we working so arduously for if our words will be held against them when they choose to not follow through after baptism?? When our whole body and heart is in this work it´s hard to think about people not remaining firm and I started bawling at the thought of leaving and having no one. It's hard because really I only have a few investigators and have had zero baptisms which I know does not matter at all but the ones that do get baptized, I want to remain and from Hna Angulo's experience she has only a few of hers that are still active. I just felt a bit worthless that day and know it was Satan trying to get me down! Because my whole heart is in this work, I really do love the people, I see the vision of the importance of this work and see how much it matters and that´s why I care--I want them to remain and have their own strong testimony too so we will do all we can to make sure that happens and pray and pray and pray :) Just another hard thing to deal with in the mission when you work and work and work and still don't have much of a program and nothing to show for it but our hearts are in it, our laughter and tears too and we pray everyday for more revelation and inspiration and strength because this is not our work! It´s the Lord´s.

We had a wonderful lesson with a couple Marianela and Gabriel. The Spirit was SO strong during the First Vision as it usually is and they described how strongly they felt it and accepted to get married and then baptized. We followed up on Saturday and they both had prayed and felt this was the right thing and although some things will surely be difficult for them, they want to get married and baptized and have agreed to set a date for their marriage before their baptismal date of Oct 22. They also wanted to know if they could get married in the church, etc and we talked about temple marriages and how 1 year after they would have that beautiful opportunity and they immediately wanted to know if we would be able to go with them :) They are golden and a blessing from the Lord for sure.

Friday = WEIRD day where everything was crazy and went wrong. Rocio didn´t show up for her baptismal interview and we waited for 2 hours for her, calling, etc. We decided to walk to the church to see if she was there and on the way there an elderly man stopped and called us over, super happily and kindly! We were thinking wow maybe this is the reason for this desafio right now! He started pulling out some credentials and asking our ages and then pulled out his ID card and asked me to read what it said. Well it said Viudo bahaha and Hna Angulo immediately laughed and said Hermano we´re not going to marry you! He then immediately spent like 10 minutes directly talking to me and offering me all kinds of money, materialistic things, a good life, his good personality, etc. He was 70 YEARS OLD. Bahaha Hna Angulo was busting up laughing not even trying to hide it and I felt badly because I was laughing too even though he was talking to me and trying to convince me to accept his marriage proposal. Oh Joseph.

Saturday we found out that Rocio had gotten super mad at tithing. Not about the commandment because she agrees with paying tithing, etc but about the tithing slip. Just the paper! She got super mad and doesn´t agree that you write a name because ¨God knows and that´s all that matters¨ and even though we tried to explain and testify that just as God has registers in the heavens and organization, he expects the same organization here on earth, etc etc but she wouldn´t have it. It´s incredible how something so small changed a person completely. So our baptism fell through this week! But surprisingly we weren´t super disappointed--I think we could tell something was off and not completely ready. Saturday we had a great lesson with the Alcivar family again and each time we meet with them someone new becomes our investigator :) Friday it was Manuel´s little sister Isabel who is 14 years old and Saturday Ulbio--their brother who is 17 years old. Of course everyone else was there too haha. Ulbio is another testament and miracle of how much this family is amazing and we are there for a reason and how people change because of the Gospel.

Last Sunday, we stopped by for Rebecás birthday and he was there. Pedrito was trying to convince Ulbio to go to church and he harshly told me he didn´t believe in God, only evolution and his parents, etc etc. He was super closed and hard hearted about it. Well Saturday, he was in the same room and said he didn´t want to participate he would just sit there. Before teaching, we addressed the topic of evolution and testified that God exists and directs all of that science and evolution he believes in. We explained to him our beliefs and united the two topics into a testimony of the both of them combined and he was super interested. After that, he wanted to read over my shoulder the scriptures we read and then accepted to read parts of other things we were reading and then contributed in the lesson! We had an FHE with them later on on Saturday as well and shared 1 Sam 16:7 and then went around writing a quality we can see in the other people that isn´t super apparent. Well I think that really touched Ulbio too because he was super full of light after that and interested and said he would be willing to go to church.

Yesterday, Sunday = Sacrament meeting of MIRACLES! We went by to pick up the Alcivars and Manuel hopped down the stairs--the first one ready! I was so so so happy haha this kid has made SO much progress! Rebeca, Manuel, Pedrito, Maria and then Marianela (the spouse of Gabriel) came to church and then they wanted to stay for more than Sac meeting! Rebeca and Manuel were going to leave but then wanted to stay becuase it was my class :) Marianela stayed all 3 hours, Pedrito got whisked away with the young men and women and it was just SO so happy--this is the true joy that people describe. I love these people SO much! Also, when we stopped by to use the restroom yesterday, Ulbio was there and said no one had woken him up but really wanted to go to church next Sunday! Such a difference between that answer and the one from one week ago :) I can´t even describe how much I love this family haha we were there every single day this week and please pray for them that they will continue and accept baptismal dates and remain firm and strong in the Gospel even after we leave. We are a bit concerned about when we leave because of how close we all are but the Gospel and a testimony of that takes care of that part :) Also, every single young girl in the church was completely enthralled with Manuel haha and I´m pretty sure he doesn´t even recognize it. Never has another investigator gotten that kind of welcome before ;) Also at church, a young girl walked in and said she knew about the church, loved it and wanted to be baptized. WHAT?! Such a blessing that walked into our lives. We are going to start meeting with her--she is super sharp.

Well we had another hard lesson with a less active last night who is actually the coach of Rebeca´s handball team. She has gone through a ton of hard things and because of that feels regrets for never seeking after her dreams or becoming the person she dreamt of becoming. Because of those thoughts, she constantly leaves her kids with her sister, seeking after other things and while it´s so sad to think of how she feels and what she´s going through--she can´t think about only herself right now. She has a family, kids to take care of who need a mom and God to put first in her life as well. It´s incredible that selfish thoughts--that people take for happiness deserved--actually end up ruining people and families and making them less happy. We are testifying boldly and calling people back to the church one individual at a time it seems like haha.

Anyway sorry this is long and random but this was our week. We are working, trying to rise above the tired-ness and are so grateful for our Alcivar family and Marianela and Gabriel. We recognize the blessings of the Lord and are humbled by how far we have to go and just could use all the prayers you have for us and especially our investigators and that we can find the Lord's chosen and people who are willing and waiting to receive and act :)

The pics are of me and Hna Angulo making Patacones and of us with Daniela Zambrano--such a great young 15 year old girl who will be an incredible missionary!

Love you all so SO much and miss you! I´m praying for you everyday--thank you all for your emails and examples to me!

Love,

Hermana Bryan

Logan: how are Kelly and Jake?  I love your boldness with Todd--such an example to me Logee!  You are the best missionary EVER.  Do you have any ideas for object lessons--you mentioned one in your email?  I would love those ideas!  I miss you so so much and hope your week was incredible.  You are the BEEESSST---Nacho Libre

Mom and Dad: how I miss you.  You both make me want to be better and I am SO grateful for your example to me and the way you have taught us in the Gospel.  Thank you for your example of a happy marriage and how important this Gospel is and remaining firm.  I love your counsel, scriptures, experiences, thoughts, feelings, etc.  MISS you so so much.  Can´t wait until we can all come here together and share in the happiness :)

Dallin; I loved your email!  How´s school? Hard?  What's your responsibility for Stuco and homecoming?  Buddy I´m SO proud of you that even though you have been invited to things (how could you not--so popular, good looking, funny, such a beast, with light and love for everyone :) but really though) that you have talked with Mom and Dad and all realized how important it is to avoid any and all situations where there are any MAYBES.  There can be no Grey areas in living the Gospel of Jesus Christ because that is what leads to all this heartache and hard work we have when we see how many less actives or people who are truly not converted in the Gospel.  You have such a strong testimony and realize how important it is.  Although it may be hard to resist some of those seemingly fun activities, I PROMISE you, Dallin you will be blessed doubly for standing true to what you know to be true and also for your obedience to Mom and Dad because they receive revelation for us and can know and feel what is good for us as children.  Dallin you are the best 15 year old I know and teach me so much.  You are stronger than half of these members here who are adults and have families--you will be the best missionary and father along with Logee.  Stay strong, happy, funny, dance for me and always be obedient--that´s the key to happiness!  LOVE YOU!!!