The Lord's Hand

Me, Hermana Aragon, Hermana Hernandez

Hola Familia!!!  

First off, the pics I´m sending are cuz I haven´t sent pics in forever!!  The first one was on Christmas Eve at the top of the mountain where our converts live in Tarqui.  Me, Hermana Aragon who went home, and Hermana Hernandez.  The second pic is of a fake bug and a real life grillo next to it.  Hermana Hernandez likes to scare us all with the fake bug and went to grab it to scare us and almost grabbed the real one hahahaha.  The last pic is of Karen Cruz, me, and Hermana Hernandez at Tony Romas celebrating Hermana Hernandez´ bday!  Karen is an amazing artist.  

Welp this week was so very hard and feels like it was really long but has ended so wonderfully with us seeing the amazing blessings of the Lord.

Monday was such a wonderful day--we called the Cruz and Frias family to celebrate with us my comp's bday!  They picked us up and we drove to Sanborondon which really is like a mini USA so we felt like we escaped to our country for a few hours!  It was SO wonderful to be with my families again and see them!!  I miss them so much and it's amazing that only after being with them twice, Hermana hernandez chose them as the people she wanted to invite!  And not anybody from our sector here (its called Francisco de Orellana--our area here).  We went to Tony Roma´s and it was SO much fun!!  They are crazy and so loving and we all had missed each other.  It was very rewarding.


Tuesday was great as well!  Hermano Frias drove back down to our area to give Hermana Hernandez a blessing to help her out because she´s been strugggling with depression and has really been feeling down, and it was such an incredible experience.  He really knows how to read people and it was such a strong, powerful and uplifting experience.  Our district meeting was uplifting and afterwards, Hermana Hernandez and I started PLAN number 3:  Plan Amor.  We call our DL every night now and act SO happy and enthusiastic and loving and then on the other line without him even realizing it, he gets so happy too and thanks us and gets excited and acts so differently than before haha.  It's been working SO well and it´s actually really fun to act like that and then hear him thanking us, recognizing our work and being really happy and supportive.  Love and happiness work on everyone :)
On Tuesday we found a new investigator named Julio.  It was an incredible lesson where we let the Spirit testify and he looked at us and said, wow you guys are really special.  This message is different, huh?  He appreciated how much love and faith we showed him and although he struggles a bit and said he was really Catholic, he accepted a baptismal date and its been amazing this week to realize that when the spirit is present in the lesson, it doesn't matter what they have originally told us, they WILL accept because the Spirit is testifying to them!  We feel he will progress little by little but it was a wonderful lesson and a testimony of the power and importance of the Spirit.

Wednesday the Lord blessed us by running into Miguel who we hadn't seen in over a week!  I don't know if I´ve written about Miguel but if not, I can't believe I haven´t!  Miguel is the brother of a member in our ward.  They are from Colombia and she is married to an RM from Ecuador.  He moved down here to be with her and work, etc.  He came to church and told us (this all happened a month ago) that he had been reading the Book of Mormon and pulled out a notebook full of questions and drawings he had done while studying and trying to understand.  We were dumbfounded--you don´t meet people like this every day.  We knew he was so special and incredible when we first met him.  We have taught him a few times and he has come to church 3 times and we have been calling him to make sure he progresses.  We saw him on Wed and that was so wonderful to teach him briefly and testify and see how he was doing.  He has such light in his eyes!!

Thursday was a day.  All of our lessons fell through and we felt super sick and then Ecuador decided to have a torrential rain storm and we literally were walking in lakes of water and so our shoes, socks, body, clothes, everything was SOAKED through even though we had an umbrella haha.  Every time it's rained lately we´ve been knocking doors and you would think someone would let us in right?!  Nope!  We did have a wonderful lesson with Cristian giving him counsel and teaching from the scriptures in Hebrews 6:10-15.  It really impacted him.  He told me that before I leave the area he wants me to leave my email so when I get home he can check up on me and make sure I stay active because I really preach.  hahaha  I don't know what that means but we were glad we could help him.
Thursday night we learned a really hard lesson and we went through one of the most ugly experiences I think I´ve had on the mish and I really don't want to go into details but it stemmed from Hermana Hernandez making a wrong choice and it happened so fast I didn't have time to react or prevent it and I know she didn't mean to and she started bawling when we got home and I knew then she would have a hard time forgiving herself.  I hugged her and told her we learned a lot and that the Lord forgives us.  I basically had a choice to make--to let her know how I really felt and how it affected me or to forgive, give counsel, and love her because the process of remorse was already taking place. 

Friday was hard in the morning because we still felt the effects of the night before--it was a really slow day but in the night, we had an amazing experience with a less active lady and she was crying a lot--we had no idea she was a member but had felt SO strongly we needed to talk to her husband and daughter when we saw them one day.  We stopped by their house and she told us she was a less active!  What?!  Amazing.  It´s incredible how God intricately manages His work.  We felt so blessed afterwards, this work is marvelous!

Saturday we came back to the house after lunch and talked for an hour straight and Hermana Hernandez opened up about EVERYTHING with me and her internal fight.  The adversary really has been attacking her internally but it was also good to get it all out there because she recognized some problems she never realized she had before but now notices.  She rested for a few hours and I watched Monte del Senor--I loved that movie!  We went out and had an INCREDIBLE lesson with Jacinto--another new investigator we found this week who accepted baptism in the first lesson because of the Spirit.  This was our second lesson and we taught the Restoration in the most simple form I´ve ever taught it.  Jacinto is an older man who lost his wife 3 months ago and he is SO special and sweet and simple.  He feels the influence of the Holy Ghost very easily.  He believes it all and we watched ¨The Restoration¨ to end the lesson and the Spirit testified to us all SO strongly that this was true.  The environment and spirit was so thick with God´s love and His Spirit.  Jacinto was very teary afterwards and he is such a sweet person who really is ready for the Gospel.  What a marvelous experience and such a privilege to teach people like him and Miguel!

Sunday both Jacinto and Miguel came to church and we really feel like we have found 2 of God´s elect in this area and though it took a while--what a marvelous privilege it is to teach them and know them.  They are so prepared and ready!  Miguel wants to be baptized asap to get rid of the weight of his sins that he has recognized more and more studying the Gospel and getting to love its influence in his life.  He is so amazing and told us how much he loves us and is grateful to us and we shared with him that we feel so so privileged to know him.  He will either get baptized this Saturday (depending on the interview because he has something to clear up) or the next we think but he is incredible and Jacinto is so sweet and had so many friends and neighbors in the church.  When he saw all his neighbors, he said to me, ¨None of them ever ever said anything to me about the church!¨ and that hit me so strongly.  How dare us as members not share the Gospel with those we come in contact with?!   We never know who are God´s elect or who is ready to accept and I think it's a wake up call for all of us when that happens.  He would have liked to know before, but how amazing is God´s work that it happened now and we have this marvelous experience.
We saw Marcelo again yesterday and he´s really struggling this week and is just so sad and down.  The scriptures in D&C 78 came to my mind about being a little child and not understanding what great blessings the Lord has in store for us and he started crying and we testified to him of God´s love and blessings.  He really loved those scriptures.  I know we are there to share God´s love for him.

Well this week was crazy and full of the Lord´s blessings and I´m so grateful for everything I am learning and the mercy and blessings of the Lord!  I love you all so so much and miss you like crazy!!

Love,
Hermana Bryan

Fake bug and real Grillo!

Karen Cruz, Me, Hna Hernandez at Tony Roma's

Believe in God

Hola familia!!!


What a beautiful day here in Guayaquil!  Just kidding it's so humid like normal haha but we feel great today cuz it's the 24th birthday of my companion.....dun dun dun.....Hermana HERNANDEZ!!  YES-I stayed with her in Francisco de Orellana because Hermana Aragon went home at 3 am on Tuesday morning.  This week has literally been full of CRAZY changes.  On Monday night they called us to tell that, so needless to say none of us slept cuz she left after packing and showering.  Then they called and told Hermana Calderon and her comp they both had changes.  We were all so so sad.  Then Elder Muhun called to say goodbye cuz he had changes.  He thanked me a ton for being fun and always joking a ton with him and them and making scenes but not overdoing it or crossing the line ever hahaha.  We were SO sad because he left.  Then Our Zone leader and Assistant to the President changed too, so needless to say our whole zone is different now and we were not ok with it.  It's still hard actually.  I have such a hard time adjusting to changes still haha.  I know that Heavenly Father has had such a hand in our companionship though.  Hermana Hernandez told me that I played the same role in the trio for her that Hermana Goering played for me and tht she wouldn't have been able to get through it emotionaly without me there.  How incredible is our Father in Heaven that he put Hermana Goering in my trio (whose greenie went home too) when I had to go through those challenges training and watching her have to go home.  Then He put me in the trio when Hermana Hernandez had to go through the same with her greenie.  Chance?  No way.  Also 2 gringas have never ever been put together as comps here in the mission and I LOVE that we are the first ones--it's really fun!  It's probably because she doesn't look like a gringa haha.  
So the changes were hard for us and our zone and leaders need a lot of help because they are not motivating at all and only focus on numbers and make us feel like crap a lot of the time so I'm gunna talk to them tomorrow and try to help them out in their stressful position so we all can feel better.  Also funny news that Hermana Angulo will appreciate:  I saw Elder VanWagoner!  bahahahah he opened the church doors for us and smiled his huge embarrassed smile and in his non-feeling voice said hi to me and we talked for a bit.  I was busting up laughing and he and elder Muhun are comps now in Manta!  Elder Hammer told him that I imitate his voice...oops.  I am the official voice imitator here and somehow everyone finds out.

So this week has been ups and downs.  The first couple of days together, we were on fire!  We rested a bit for her anemia and then went out and hit the pavement and we had such a wonderful work together!  We both feel like everything with Hna Aragon affected us personally without us even realizing the reasons why.  We have felt the Spirit a lot together and love teaching together, experiencing joys of this work, laughing, and it helps that we know each other´s situations fully and can talk openly.

Friday was such a horrible day for us.  The adversary works SO hard to get us down and works extra hard on the missionaries who want so badly to give everything to the Lord.  We finally had to sit down in the rain and just talk openly and cry for a long time together.  (remember when we did this Hna Angulo? :) ) sometimes you have to do that!  But we kept on going.
Saturday was another frustrating day.  We had a great lesson with a new family accompanied by Cristian Loor--an awesome RM here who really is our only light and support haha.  But then Hna Hernandez felt so down all day and wouldn´t talk or open up, etc.  It's so hard to work and feel the Spirit and be comps without communication and feeling good.  In the night I just broke down because otra vez I felt all the weight on my shoulders of my comp, the area, the people, trials, etc. but just remembered that this is all preparatory and there is always light at the end of the tunnel.  2 Nephi 4 really spoke to me these days that even the prophet felt down and felt bad for feeling down like we did but in the end just relied on the Lord!

Sunday we had a frustrating time in our ward--it needs help, and at lunch she served us a ton of MEAT.  Adrianne and Jess would have loved it haha we about died.  Then we talked and talked and everything was back to normal and we helped each other and hit the pavement again.  The Lord blessed us so much in our lesson with a ref from Cristian--Marcelo.  Marcelo is gay, has been abused, used drugs a lot of his life, but the most sensitive, loving, funny person with the best heart.  He listened to the missionaries like 10 years ago and told us right off the bat that he doesn't accept the Book of Mormon because only accepts the Bible.  We said we weren't here to force him to do anything but to bring him to Christ.  He then opened up with his whole life and we listened, he cried, we comforted him, and gave him a bit of counsel and testified of Christ, His Atonement, miracles and the things required to receive them.  He is such an amazng person.  We were there for almost 2 hours and towards the end he stopped mid sentence and told us, ¨Wow, I didn´t know it was possible for Mormon missionaries to be like you guys or their visits to be like this.  I´ve never experienced this.  I love how we can talk about everything and how comfortable I feel and really, God knew the way he could touch my heart today and the way and through whom He could finally touch my heart.  I can't even describe it but my heart feels so full and just pounding--I feel so good.¨ I can't tell you how much that touched our hearts and filled our souls and once again reminded us that the Lord is aware of us and accepts our work.  That it doesn't matter about making sure you teach all the lessons or focus only on preaching but it really matters to care about the people, listen to them, help them, LOVE them, and the Spirit will help them feel your love and the love of God.  Hna Hernandez and I really love the people we teach and everyone we come in contact.  We really try to focus on doing what Christ would do if He were here and that makes the difference in people´s lives and brings much more fulfillment than a number or lesson taught ever can.

I love this work!  It's so hard but it's so so so worth it and I´m SO grateful for the constant hand of Heavenly Father in my life!


Love,
Hermana Bryan

My Mission is Never Boring!

Hola Familia!!  and Friends! 

Well this week was a wonderful one full of many experiences.  Last Monday we had such a wonderful and relaxing P-day and left at 6pm all ready to work and preach and we were walking down the street when I saw ahead of us a super dead, petrified cat that had its face all mad and its paws in the air.  It was SO gross.  I started screaming and my comps starting running around screaming too and they had no idea why for a minute hahaha.  So we freaked out about that and then 10 minutes later we passed this house that had a super aggressive and angry dog.  Everyone in this area (Francisco de Orellanas) has super mean dogs but all have a protective rod iron fence around their house.  We had to go back by the house like 2 minutes later and it was sitting up super straight ready to pounce.  But it had a thick fence and we didn't think anything so Hermana Aragon started growling at it as a joke and it somehow made itself super skinny (this dog was Super dog) and leaped through the thick rod iron fence in attack mode running at each one of us!  Well, the key part in all of this is that Hermana Hernanadez has a lot of fears but her MAIN fear is dogs.  So it started chasing her and I literally thought it was going to bite each one of us.  It was crazy and I don't know why it stopped at our legs when it was running at full speed but thank heavens it did!  Hermana Hernandez almost died--she couldn't breathe and was walking like a drunk woman afterwards haha poor thing.  We were all screaming, etc and then started laughing about our crazy luck and going over what had just happened out loud as we were walking away when a bat flew in our faces and almost ran into us.  It was flying super low to the ground and in our faces and I bet you can guess again that yep we freaked out, ran, screamed etc and the whole park and street full of people had a 10 minute show of everything that happened and these 3 crazy missionaries screaming and running around.  hahaha

Also this is the rainy season in Ecuador and with the rainy season comes....GRILLOS.  Supposedly that translates to crickets but let me tell you they are NOT normal crickets.  They are huge, gross, cockroaches with legs, wings, that jump and fly around and have invaded our house.  I think I've killed like 30 grillos.  They are so sick!

Tuesday was an incredible day full of blessings of the Lord!  We also instituted our Plan #1--Plan MACHETE.  We were SUPER direct with two investigators named Gisela and the other Cesar.  I literally surprised myself and honestly couldn't believe I was saying what I said and how I said it but they all clearly and finally committed to go to church, do the other things, etc and it felt good to know we testified with ALL we had and the Spirit was present and the Lord helped us.  Funny how I never imagined myself being so bold, clear and direct but it's our responsibility to be so at times.  Especially here in Ecuador--sometimes other forms don't work a lot of the time haha :)  Hermana Angulo: I have officially replaced you as the machetera of the mission for now :)  Like mother, like daughter in the mission, right? hahaha

Wednesday was not as great of a day and we had an absolute horrible lesson with an investigator who didn't feel a single thing in our lesson or when we testified, and we were a bit distracted, etc.  Wow it was such a wake up call for me and I felt like a failure after that lesson.  How can you expect the Spirit to testify of our words if we aren't 100% there in the lessons??!  duh.  It was a horrible feeling to hear that response but such a learning experience.

We have been pretty dang frustrated with the attitudes of our ward members and leaders here because they think we are super women or something or that all the responsibility falls on us somehow because we are full time missionaries.  NOT true!  In fact it should be the opposite.  They admitted to us that they know what Preach My Gospel says and they know all their responsibilities, etc but that they don't have all the time to do those things, so basically, they said we know what the prophets said but we don't have time to carry that out so you guys can do it. And they all take it upon themselves to tell us what we do wrong and give us ideas that we actually already know and do but their attitudes have killed us!  Yesterday I was SOO mad--I don't remember being this mad in a long time after meetings on Sunday but we will slowly help this ward and the members improve!  We have some activities planned and capacitations planned as well.

Wednesday night we stayed up way late talking with Hermana Calderon (other hna that lives in our house) and she shared her life story.  Wow.  I will tell you all in detail when I get home but we all take SO many things for granted sometimes.  She has had such a hard life and is only a convert of 3 years who didn't know anything or remember much about what the missionaries taught her when she came so she has had to learn it all here and LOVES the lessons and the Book of Mormon now.  She is so strong and amazing to me and I don't know how she has gone through everything she has gone through.  Sometimes I question why I have been so incredibly blessed by the Lord--I have so much to learn and much to improve!

Thursday a Jehovahs Witness rung our doorbell over and over again until we finally went down to see who it was and apparently he had found out we lived there and had come to give us a pamphlet to read with our Bible to know the truth.  bahahahahaha I was thinking in my head..really?!  I told him we respect his religion but we have ours and know the truth and thanked him for the offer but declined.  All the hermanas were like geez Hermana Bryan, you came and literally all these strange and crazy things happen here!  haha  One thing is for sure, my mission is never boring!

Comp inventory was wonderful on Thursday and I love my comps!

Friday the 13th!  My 6 month anniversary in the mission--crazy!!  We had a conference for all the trainers and their greenies.  For 7 hours.  No joke it was SUPER long.  I was half excited to go and learn from Pres Amaya--I love that so much.  But the other half of me was dreading going because I knew I would face people expecting to see Hna Palma and all those feelings returned.  I felt guilty or not good enough as a trainer but talked myself out of those feelings--incredible how the adversary uses every experience to get us down!  We learned so much in the conference about the role of the Holy Ghost and how the Holy Ghost teaches our lessons for us when we rely on him and have his Spirit with us.  It was wonderful and I was reminded of a lot of things--it's always great to get those extra boosts and reminders of how to be and improve.

So it was super long, the conference--and I was getting pretty tired, etc but Pres Amaya told us he wanted to end the conference with a video clip.  It was really special and touching--the story of how a normal man and his simple, heartfelt, not eloquent testimony touched the heart of Brigham Young and began the conversion process.  The Spirit carries our simple yet heartfelt words to those around us.

Pres Amaya stood up and we all thought he would close but he surprised us by saying that to close he wanted to end with a few people bearing their testimonies.  I immediately and knowingly started half smiling to myself because I felt that I would be included in that.  He only asked 3 people: an elder to start off, me, and his assistant who is going home tomorrow because he's finished his mission.  While bearing my testimony, I looked down at the hermanas and Hermana Hernandez began to cry and I looked down at their smiles and just felt the love and amazing Spirit of this work.  I felt so blessed to know these people, to share who we are with each other and it was a meaningful experience to me that reminded me that the Lord never forgets us, shows His trust and love for us.  What a blessing.

We have had some wonderful experiences by using our plan machete and plan #2--Plan Espiritu--to fully rely on the Spirit while teaching and doing all we can to be worthy of that company.  This work is incredible and I can feel of it everyday.  How blessed I am to be here.  Papa wrote me in December and his words have helped all of my comps here in this house especially Hermana Calderon as she has SUCH a difficult situation with her companion.  I copied Papa's words and they are hanging on the wall to remind us all that this really is an intense and fast learning course for us and every experience is to help us in our futures.  Anyway they wanted me to thank Papa a million times over for his words and counsel!  They are all being blessed by my wonderful family :)

Scripture of the week is Luke 22:43 that talks about the Atonement but I noticed something I never had noticed before is that Heavenly Father sent an angel to help Jesus Christ during his sufferings.  Even the Son of God needed an angel's help during his hardest time and I KNOW that our Heavenly Father sends us angels everyday of our lives to help us on this mortal journey.  We need to recognize these angels in our lives and thank them and also recognize that we will be given unseen strength and visible tender mercies every day if we can recognize them.  The church is true!  The Book of Mormon changes lives.  Let it change yours and let those angels help you!  I love you SO much!!

Stay strong and always Keep Moving Forward!

Love,

Hermana Bryan

Fear Not To Do Good!

Dear family and friends,

I love you all so much!!  I just had to start out with that because I´ve been feeling so much love and support lately and today got to read a ton of Christmas cards that people were so thoughtful to send me in the mission field and I just realize how greatly blessed I am!  Thank you--you get me through and I love you all so so much!!

 

My title from my email comes from D&C 6:33 and it´s a super theme for life!  I know that theme is not the right word but can´t think of the other word in English right now haha.  What a blessed week I have had.  The Lord truly blesses me too much and I know I say this every time but WHY do I ever question my trials or the Lord´s hand in my life or the hard things I go through?!  Super dumb--there is always light right around the corner of our darkest days and I, without fail, have seen that light every single time.

 

So I know I already talked about how hope and waiting are intimately related and how that was a cool revelation thinking about the words in Spanish but a couple weeks ago, I found evidence of that!! Romans 5:3-5 and Romans 8:24-25.  Hope and waiting are always related and a quote that really hit me this week was something I found in a talk my mom sent me by Elder Uchtdorf. 

He said: It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life´s story will develop.

That quote is related to D&C 136:31 and I just loved this during the week.  The Lord requires us all to go through adversity.  But He has told us there is glory awaiting us.  We know all that so now it is up to us to decide how we will react and THAT will determine the rest of our story!  I know that there are most of you out there that are going through really rough times.  I also know that the Lord has INCREDIBLE things in store for each one of you.  It is up to you to have hope, faith, and wait.  But wait with hope!  Your positive reactions to adversity will make it so your life´s story can be filled with happiness, and the fulness of the promised blessings the Lord has in store.  Many blessings rely on our understanding who we are and what we can and must become.  I´ve realized that lately.  So to help you out if you can´t see the amazing person you are:  you are a child of God.  He loves you SO much!  You have a potential to have an eternal family and to become like God and our Savior Jesus Christ.  It´s not impossible--it´s actually in the plans for your life.  Recognize what blessings the Lord has in store for you and who He wants you to become.  This will be your life goal and even though we might fall short, if we do all we can, Christ has paid for the rest.  How incredible!

 

So highlights of the week were our companionship improving and enjoying our trio.  Other super highlight: on Thursday my comps had interviews with Pres Amaya to talk about their individual challenges and staying in the mission, etc.  They finished and Pres Amaya greeted me and then asked if I had needed to talk to him as well.  I smiled and said only if he wanted to but that I didn´t have a pressing need for an interview.  He laughed and said he wanted to talk to me about my health and how I was doing so pulled me in.  That alone was such a tender mercy.  I didn´t want to take up his time but selfishly would have killed for an interview--I love them!   Also it was such a blessing to once again have the concern and love of President Amaya--it was so impressive to me that he would take the time to talk to me about my health and make sure I was ok and that I was feeling comfortable, etc.  He talked to me about what had happened and what the doctors said, then asked how I felt in my trio and I was honest that it had been difficult at first but had improved greatly, etc.  He told me to enjoy it because soon my comp would arrive and I would be training again because he told me what a shame I hadn´t had the opportunity to fulfill that responsibility with Hermana Palma.  He was smiling haha and I started laughing again.  When she arrives, this will be Take 2 of the training by Hermana Bryan haha.  He laughed and said he hoped that things would all work out so I never have to be in a trio again and I started laughing a lot.  The whole office knows how crazy my mission has been and we all laugh about it.  He then told me to have lots of faith, and enjoy the mission because the time goes by quickly.  He then said some people are down at this time because of Christmas and they want to be with their fam, etc but we should treasure this time in the mish.  I then took the time to share with him how my phone call home went and that I cried but out of gratitude and love and even told my family I wouldn´t want to be anywhere else right now and I´m already feeling the time go by quickly.  I shared some of my feelings about the mission so he would know I wasn´t one of those super depressed wanting to be home kinds of missionaries and he was just smiling and whole heartedly agreed with me and then began to thank me for being in the mission and serving, etc.  He thanked me a lot and was just smiley and as we left the office he just repeated my name in a happy sort of way and I laughed and returned to my comps.  This is a lot of detail and I can´t really describe how I felt but it was SUCH a blessing--I felt so happy and grateful afterwards for his understanding, his counsel, and the trust I feel he has in me from our interactions and the things he has said.  It showed a lot that he wanted to make sure I was better and chat for a few minutes.  I truly do love him and feel so grateful for his personality.

 

Wow that was long--sorry!  Afterwards my comps opened up to me about everything and we sat on our beds for an hour talking things through and their personal trials.  They´re having a hard time staying motivated about being here.  Hermana Hernandez has so much desire to be here and is so awesome but she has anemia and is super worried about that because she´s had it before.  Also she thinks she came on the mish to escape marriage to her boyfriend haha.  Hermana Aragon on the other hand is just not comfortable here and hates it and that´s been the hardest for us trying to give her motivation and the vision of how incredible the mission is!  So we are in that right now and there have been hard days when I am affected as well and more down but I recognize that I´m on the Lord´s time.

 

Other highlight was seeing the Cruz family!  I love them so much and they wrote me in my memorybook we all keep here in the mish for comps and other people to write to us.  What Karen (the 21 yr old daughter who always helped us) wrote to me really really touched me.  I feel like in a different way than we expect at times, we can feel and see the fruits of our labors even with the members.

 

To end, I found a scripture: Alma 28:8 this week that completely captures missionary work and emotions in just one scripture!  So many emotions and things that happen but it is so incredible!  I love you all so much!  Have faith that things will work out.  Feel how much I love you and that I pray for you all the time.  I know that Christ lives and what a privilege to bear His name, the name of my family, and to share the good news of the gospel that changes lives! 

 

Have an incredible week--I love you!!

 

Love,

Hermana Bryan

Another Week

Well family,

Happy New Year!  I didn´t get to see Año Viejo burnings but sure got to hear a lot of fireworks and noise outside while we were sleeping.  

I´ve been sick in bed for a week again--I thought I had passed that stage of my mission but apparently not!--and this week has been super hard (strike that--this whole change) but know that this all will pass.  

Eliana was super excited about her baptism on Tuesday and Wednesday and even had the whole thing programmed on Wed when I called her.  Then on Thursday changed her mind because of some friends and their influences and I called and talked to her and then called the Zone Leaders and they called her and set up to meet with her the following day (they are SO awesome and had already met with her because she´s been like this for a while--super timid and unsure and they are just so supportive especially because I was sick and couldn´t go).

Friday I had to go back to Tarqui and pack up all my things and move them to the house where we had been staying because for now I´m going to be staying with my comps in their area.  Friday the elders had an incredible lesson with Eliana and the Fmla Cruz and gave her a pamphlet to read and other advice and she was supposed to call me to tell me her decision.  I ended up calling her and staying up forever talking to her, animating her, giving her direct counsel, etc and she said she would let me know in the morning.

I told her we were planning on it and we would see her at her house in the morning.  She texted us at 6:50 in the morning saying she made her decision to not be baptized and knows at a future time she´ll feel more at ease, less nervous about this step in her life, etc.  I called her and the ZLs got super frustrated too because literally we ALL know she has her answer.  She has told us she has her answer!  But the key thing is that she has let her fear outweigh her faith and impede this huge step in her life.  They wanted to set up another interview with her--they never wanted to give up ever and she wasn´t even their investigator! But she didn´t meet with them.  This was super hard for me because I was sick all week and couldn´t meet with her, felt guilty and like it was my fault but then realized with the help of my leaders it wasn´t my fault, she had her answer and had it for months, she has chosen to use her agency and let her fear impede her faith and I can´t control that.  

I think I have realized that it´s hard to not see the fruit of your labors in your mission.  I haven´t and probably won´t during mine if it continues this way, and I have just come to accept and realize that I am the official planter of seeds here in the Guayaquil Ecuador Norte mission so that they will have rich soil to grow in for future years :)  It´s not a bad job right? haha  I tell you right now though that I have LOVED those seeds and people and given my all to try and make them grow.  I don´t have any regrets with any investigators and realize that it´s ok I haven´t seen results and might not.  Marianela and Gabriel made everything worth it--they are golden and fill my life with joy hearing from them and their plans firm and faithful in the Gospel!  That´s what it´s all about.  Serving, loving, crying, growing, and giving your all as Christ would do (or trying to because we all fall WAY short of being like our Savior) and then letting the rest get taken care of in the Lord´s time frame.

I received a letter from Logan´s trainer, Elder Washburn, and aside from the hilarious jokes he put in there--I started bawling towards the end.  Don´t tell him that though, Logan haha.  I started crying because he told me that he was sure that I´d had my fair share of trials in the mission--that all missionaries do and that I may not have seen the fruits of my labors as much as other people.  Wow.  But that the real way to measure success of a missionary is through their commitment to the Lord.  He then gave me 3 things of advice and Logan, you had a fabulous trainer because he is teaching me now!  Haha really though that was heaven sent.  Then I started laughing and bawling at the same time looking at the pic he gave me.  I miss my hero missionary so much!

So my fam already knows but I´m having kind of a rough time right now but I just know with all my heart that the Gospel is true and that Heavenly Father hears and answers my prayers and that He loves me.  When I have nobody and nothing else, I have Him and my prayers give me strength.  Also thank you all for your support and love and strength--they make all the difference to me as well.

Elder Hammer came over and he and Elder Muhun gave me a blessing on Thursday night.  That was heaven sent because he did it in English and it makes such a difference sometimes to hear your own language :)  He blessed me that I would be able to see the Lord´s hand in my life and that I would be able to be a shining light to the other missionaries I serve with,etc.  Those things really stood out to me and I felt the power of the priesthood--I know this church is true!  Also I know that was my Father in Heaven speaking to me because how often, family, do we talk about that specifc phrase--me seeing the Lord´s hand in my life?!!  It´s true.  I´ve seen His hand in my whole mission and need to see it out til the end and recognize His miracles in my life.  Especially during these hard times.

Well I hope you all had a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and have started your New Year´s resolutions!  For one I challenge you all to make a spiritual goal--something that is realistic that you can master this year to help you be more like Christ and reach the person you have the potential of becoming.  I have a long ways to go but will, like you, try to do that this year and every year that follows.  I know that Christ lives.  I know that He loves us infinitely.  I know that families can be together forever.  Strive to do all you can NOW to live with them forever!!  It´s worth it!  It will definitely be hard and require everything you have to give but I know that you will be blessed.  Something I thought this week was that perhaps I had proven to the Lord my faith and that I was willing to pass through many things during these few months.  Then when I got sick again I wondered why again and what else do I need to prove.  How dumb am I sometimes!  We are NEVER done proving to the Lord our faith and our willingness to follow Him and serve Him and give our all no matter the circumstances.  So keep on proving your faith, we all are in this together and the Lord loves you more than you can imagine!  The Book of Mormon is true--read it everyday!

I love you all SO much!!

Love,

Hermana Bryan